The View Isn't Improving

I spend a fair amount of time on my back deck in the summer, and over the years I’ve used this time to make observations on my neighborhood/neighbors.  Lots has happened since my last update, but the more it’s changed, the more it’s also stayed the same…..

Starting with my neighbors to the northeast, they still have their adult (early 20s), high-school dropout daughter living with them.  Over the past few years, she’s cycled through a couple of boyfriends, and apparently a couple of very part-time jobs.  Earlier this year, I thought she may have moved out, but it turned out she was in some type of rehabilitation facility for a few weeks.

So much for the rehab, because police and ambulance vehicles rolled up to the house one recent Sunday morning, as she laid on the front lawn in some stage of unconsciousness.  My neighbor will gladly tell me what happened the next time I’m outdoors, but I’m sure it will be only a minor variation from all the past substance abuse-related emergency vehicle visits.  He’s embarrassed by his daughter’s behavior, but never enough to make her accountable, so nothing changes.

Meanwhile, my widowed neighbor to the east said goodbye to her delinquent granddaughter long ago, but now has her grandson living with her again, after his stint of more than a year in prison.  I was led to believe his incarceration was due to multiple impaired driving convictions, however, there’s more to it than that.  I know this because a couple months ago, in a strange Google deep-dive, I discovered he is currently on the state of Iowa sex offender registry!  It’s not great to have your neighbor’s house as a dot on the sex offender registry map, but that’s where we are.

Upping the ante, he now has a less-than-fully employed girlfriend and her five-year-old son living with him in the house as well.  It doesn't seem like a great situation, living with grandma, but the worst of it is that yard has become trailer-trash central.  The widow is rarely seen outside these days; she doesn’t really know or care about the property condition, and neither does her son who lives nearby.  Meanwhile, the grandson and girlfriend just leave everything outside (bikes, coolers, chairs, toys) where they last left it.  Alas, the grandma doesn’t make them accountable, so nothing changes.

Unfortunately for me, the lack of accountability by my neighbors does change one thing – it keeps my property value below where it should be. 

Dear Graduating Class of 2022

After two years of restrictions, it seems we re-emerged to a more normal time of high school and college graduation ceremonies.  So without further adieu, time for my annual address:

To the graduating class of 2022,

So, did it seem normal?  Your senior year, I mean.

The last two graduating classes had their senior years ruined, or at least interrupted, by a pandemic.  Yours was more like the pre-pandemic days, with the possible exception of having to wear a piece of cloth over your face from time-to-time. (But curiously, not when you were jammed together at extra-curricular school activities.)

If it did seem normal, I hope you enjoyed it, because if you're doing it right, that should be the end of your 'normal' for a very long time.  You'll either be going to a different school or starting a job.  Either way, the salad days of letting your family take care of you are over.

I had to say should be over, because these days, a great many of you will still be living with your family.  I'm well aware of the reasons why -- too many expenses, not enough income, blah blah blah.  These are things you could have mitigated with a little planning and grit.  And perhaps one more thing.....a better job by your family.

Yep, if you aren't ready to graduate, I want to say that's all on you, but I can't do that anymore.  There are too many complicit parents / families who are more than willing to let you stay at home for as long as you want, with virtually no accountability from you.  It's beyond weird that this happens, but it's almost become routine, and the pandemic made it even worse.

So you're probably asking, why should I make life hard on myself when I can live at home with free room and board and car and laundry service and probably much more?

I have one good answer -- because you're missing out on the prime fun years of your life!  That bulletproof age that exists around your early twenties, when you're young and can be both responsible and irresponsible at the same time.  You aren't going to get the most out of that by living at home.

Go to college.  Get a job.  Find roommates, or for that matter, just a mate.  But for the love of god, don't let your family allow you to stay in the same house where you grew up.

Don't let that be your normal.

Dear Graduating Class of 2021

Another crazy, pandemic-altered scholastic year in the books.  One thing still the same, however, is my annual message to graduates.....

To the graduating class of 2021,

Wow, what a final year of school that was, huh?!  You probably spent more of it learning online than in a classroom or lecture hall, depending on whether you lived in a 'red' state or a 'blue' state.  (You'll learn more about the color of states one day, as we run up to the second civil war.)

Was the year really so bad?  For you and for your parents, yes, yes it was.  Regardless of whether you were in high school or college, not being able to fully enjoy all of the curricular and extra curricular of that senior year had to suck.

On the other hand, your sacrifice, such as it was, allowed academic society to function during a pandemic in a way that didn't endanger more lives.  You aren't getting a medal for that, and not many will remember how your senior year was less than it should have been because of it.

Which brings me to my main message -- get used to it.  Meaning get used to not being praised, much less rewarded, for making sacrifices.

This is going to be a theme for most of your life.  Your work bosses are going to take the praise you want, and give the grief you don't want.  That's also going to suck, but like the pandemic, it also won't last.

If you keep your nose to the grindstone and work hard, you'll eventually be noticed and get what's coming to you.  And another silver lining is, you now have a headstart on how to excel by working remotely, the new way of the future.

Let me put it into a different perspective:  The generations before you also had to make sacrifices that ruined their senior years.  These included things like living through -- and being victims of -- race oppression, economic depression, and war.  Imagine having to go overseas to dodge bullets instead of going to homecoming dances or kegger parties.

Unfortunately, those real, major sacrifices didn't garner them the praise they deserved either.  (Some of them did get medals, like purple hearts, if you consider that an acceptable reward for being hurt, or losing a limb.)

So, Buck Up, Class of 2021!  You got the shaft, similar to the Class of 2020, but at least you got a graduation ceremony.  And it doesn't give you permission to live in your parents' basement forever.

Dear Graduating Class of 2020

Although it may be the most difficult time to be a high school or college graduate EVER, those kids still expect some words of wisdom, as in past years.  Let's get to it.....

To the hard-luck graduates of 2020:

This must really suck.

It’s hard to imagine how it could be worse than ‘right now’ for a high school or college graduate, during the COVID-19 pandemic.  Not being able to make memories from that last month or so in school?  Not being able to enjoy all of the traditions and hijinks of those final days of classes?  Not being involved in all of the pomp and circumstance of graduation week?   Not being able to have all that attention from friends and relatives at graduation ceremonies and parties, nor collecting the graduation presents?

This must really suck bad.

And there’s no getting it back, either.  Oh sure, you might eventually have a ceremony of some sort.  And you’ll probably get those graduation gifts down the road.  But all of the fun – that’s just gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

This must really, really suck bad.

To make matters worse (especially if you’re a college graduate), you’re entering in to the worst job market of the past 90 years.  Frankly, unless you have mad skills at developing pharmaceuticals for treating or curing viruses, there isn’t much out there for you right now – unless your life’s goal is to work in an on-line shopping fulfillment warehouse, a fast food restaurant, or a slaughterhouse.

This s-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-c-k-s.

Can anything be salvaged from this incredible misfortune to make you feel better?  Sure, there are lots of things that might perk you up.  For example, since you’ll either be unemployed or taking online college classes or both, your parents are a lot more likely to let you save money by living with them rent free.  (Actually, I could only think of that one thing, and it has as many downsides as upsides.)

Let’s face it, Class of 2020 – you’ve drawn the short straw.  Civilization, with an assist from national governments, has failed you.  You only have one option:  Determination.

Put your mind to it, and you’re going to get through this, along with the knowledge that you can succeed even when starting from one of the lowest points in United States history.  That’s a great rallying point, assuming you don’t use it to start a second Civil War, and further assuming we still have a functioning society.

Years from now, you aren’t going to be that upset about the events that didn’t occur, but you might be upset that you didn’t use the events that did occur as a springboard for what might have been.

Dear Graduating Class of 2019

It's time to give some more life advice to the early-twenty-somethings out there with brand new college diplomas.....

To the graduates of 2019:

It's probably difficult for you to go a day without seeing a news story about the crushing amount of college debt that most of you now have.  I can think of two exceptions to this: Some of you were lucky enough to have had your college paid for you by a parent or other family member or scholarship, while some others simply never read the news.

For many of you -- not all, but many -- there's a good chance that the main reason for this debt is you.  You probably could have studied harder in high school, creating a better chance for scholarships.  You probably could have studied harder in college, and completed it sooner.

Try not to ponder why you have this debt.  Your generation isn't about to blame yourselves for your own (in)actions anyway.  Better to focus on how to eliminate it.  I'm here to help.

1)  Get a job and start making money.  Any job.  No waiting for the job you want.  Listen to my (stolen) old saying:  If you wait to take the job you love, you'll never work a day in your life, because you are never getting that job.

2)  Work hard, and keep working hard.  Find a way to be indispensable, and you'll be fine.

3)  Stop spending money you don't have.  This may be a hard habit to break, because it's essentially what you've been doing throughout college to create the debt you have.  The living-on-credit monster doesn't need to be fed, it needs to be starved.

4)  Don't worry about saving for retirement now.  There are financial advisors out there who will try to convince you that saving now means you won't have to save as much later, which is true.  But it's also stupid, because eliminating high-interest debt is more important, and gives you more bang for the buck.  Also, let this be your first lesson that advisors mostly only care about giving advice that makes money for themselves.

5)  Repeat.

That's it!  You'll have your college debt paid off in no time, and have learned good life-long habits.  Of course, one alternative to all of this is to move back in with your parents.  Don't do it.

Post #400

This is my 400th blog entry since I started it almost 10 years ago(!)  (I'll have to throw a party in July when the actual 10th anniversary arrives.)  I'm going to do what I've done in past 'century' posts, which is to review some of what I wrote about since my 300th entry.  The time gap between the 300th and 400th is going to expose how I don't write as much as I used to -- it's taken me twice as long as the prior 100.

I wrote about several recurring annual topics, including the Berkshire Hathaway Annual Meeting (soon to be post #410), my advice to graduating seniors, RAGBRAI musings, and things for which I'm not thankful. 

I wrote about how smart people have many advantages in the world, but are disadvantaged by a lack of numbers, and so many stupid people holding them back.

I wrote about new cities and regions of the country I visited, including attending the Rose Bowl.

I wrote about how great social media technology and platforms could be, if not for the all of the people who use social media for evil and not for good.

I wrote more about our country's slow, inexorable march toward decriminalization and legalization of marijuana, which can't come soon enough.

I wrote a few more times about financial issues, and starting my own firm.

I wrote a handful of times about great songs and songwriters, a dying breed with the exception of a few hip-hop and country artists, to which I rarely listen.

Nearly 100 entries apart, I wrote about my observations at the funerals of my father and mother.

I wrote about how religion separates people (and in many cases, harms people) at least as much as it brings people together.

I wrote about the dysfunction and hatred of this decade's politics and politicians, which is in many ways related to the last item.

I wrote about how today's baby boomer parents are ruining not only their kids' lives, but society in general, with their awful parenting.

I wrote a few items of self-reflection, on what happened in the past, and what I might do differently if I knew then what I know now.

400 posts.....bring on the next 100!

The View From My Back Window

A few years ago, I made a blog entry about the neighbors across my back yard, whom I often observe from my deck during the summer.  At that time, I noted some issues they each had with family members who just didn't want to move out.

Now that I'm working from home, I have a chance to observe these neighbors more frequently -- not by choice, but by virtue of simply looking out my window a few times a day.  My update on them is, so much has changed, yet so much remains the same.

My elderly widowed neighbor to the east is rarely seen outside anymore, but there's more activity there than ever.  Her disabled son is no longer around, and neither is her prodigal granddaughter and boyfriend, but they've been replaced by others.  Now her recently separated or divorced adult grandson lives there, and from time-to-time, he's joined by his kids and girlfriend.  You'd think this living arrangement would have the grandson taking care of their house and yard, but this would only be true if you defined 'taking care of'' as letting the property look like an unkempt trailer park.

My neighbors to the northeast haven't changed the number of occupants (unless you count the dog dying), but therein lies the problem.  Their adult, mostly unemployed, high-school dropout daughter still lives there.  In the past year, in addition to the usual shouting matches, there have been multiple visits by police, fire, and rescue units.  Her dad has admitted these are attributable to the daughter's addictive lifestyle, but he and his wife won't kick her out, because, well, they're bad at parenting.  Their house and yard were TP'd this week, which I thought was only a high school thing, but at least it's better than hearing gunshots.

Like I said, much has changed, yet much remains the same, and none of it is good for my property value.

Dear Graduating Class of 2017

It's time for another edition of giving my latest advice to graduating seniors.  I'm sticking with college graduates again this year, for reasons which I outlined last year.

To the college graduates of 2017:

You're facing a tough situation.  The good times are over, your future job prospects aren't great, and our nation's social and political environment has never been more toxic.  Oh, and for some of you, you're student loan debt may be brutally high.

Start with this:  As soon as possible, forget about your college degree.  Once you have a job, your employer won't care about your grades, or where you attended school, or where you spent your summers volunteering for some social good.  All your employer will care about is whether you can add more value than you cost, and if you can, they win again by looking good for hiring you.  Everything else is pretend.

So forget being a college graduate..... but don't forget to live like a college student for as long as possible.  There’s no need, nor should you have any expectation, to live in a nice place the first five or so years post-college.  Instead, try to live like you did in college, by living sparsely with or without roommates.  (So don't move into your parents basement!  Did your parents live with you in college?)

And ignore any peers who you may soon start to see driving expensive cars, and purchasing nice homes. It should be obvious to a college-educated person such as yourself that they're doing this with the parents' money.  Look at it this way -- if your parents are still changing your diapers at 25, that doesn't make you a success.

Last but not least, tackle this tough situation with toughness -- show some grit.  Seriously.  You can start by watching this brief TED Talk by a researcher named Angela Duckworth, who has spent a considerable portion of her life studying how 'grit' leads to success.

Oh, and congratulations.

Cave-Dwelling Millennials

Five years ago, I posted a blog entry about how the main problem with kids, is parents.  My point was that there could be no bad kids unless they'd been exposed to bad parenting.  That came to mind again this week, but in a much, much different way.

This week the Wall Street Journal reported that almost 40% of young Americans were living with their parents, siblings or other relatives in 2015.  This is the largest percentage since 1940, and happened despite good job growth since the Great Recession of 2008.  The share of those ages 18-34 living with parents or other family members has actually been rising since 2005, when roughly 33% were living with family.

It should be noted that this is all according to an analysis of census data by real estate tracker Trulia, which did it to determine why there is less demand for housing than would be expected for the millennial generation.  They decided that rising rents in many cities and tough mortgage-lending standards were the culprit, making it difficult for those 'young Americans' to strike out on their own.

Pardon my French, but that reasoning in bullshit.  It makes no sense on its face, since the percentage should decline as the economy has so improved over the past five years.  Also, there's plenty of multi-generational family living even in lower cost-of-living areas.  And for the past few years, mortgage rates have never been lower, making it easier than ever to buy a house.

Want to know why so many millennials are living in their parents' basements?  Because they can.  Because parents have allowed it -- not just by unconditionally opening their doors to their underachieving kids for undetermined periods of time, but by not holding their children accountable for making better decisions when it mattered, during and after high school and college.

That's simply another form of bad parenting, in a much different context than what I wrote five years ago.  It's also a sign of how some millennials are lazy, er, I mean lack motivation, to the extent they'd rather give up independent living than have to be fully employed.

Parents should be more motivated about this, too.  As a financial planner, I can also tell you the parents pay a terrible cost in the form of not being able to retire.  Thousands of dollars are being spent on children for whom there should no longer be a cost.  I've seen some situations where parents are paying more now for their adult children than they were when those kids were under 18.  Ugh.

It's Like I Always Say

Over the years, I've had quite a few sayings that I've become fond of repeating.  For the most part, outside of my spouse and children, no one would know these quotes.

Now that I've just had another birthday, I'm getting old enough that I want to put these in writing.  I do this below knowing it will be a working list, I expect to add to it:

* There’s nothing wrong in living your life with a quiet confidence in what you’re doing.  [Social media and reality TV have ruined this concept.]

* There are no bad kids, there are only bad parents.

* No one is completely useless, because even useless people can be used as a bad example.

* He who lives with the afflicted, also suffers.

* Sometimes the reason a person does things is the same reason a dog licks his balls -- because he can.

* When you blame yourself, you feel like no one else has the right to blame you.

* If you aren't going to have an opinion about things, why bother waking up in the morning?

* People who don't support medical marijuana don't believe in evolution.

Dear Graduating Class of 2016

So ends another school year, and so begins another attempt at imparting wisdom upon this year’s graduates.  In the past, I’ve sometimes had messages for both high school and college graduates.   I’m going to ignore the scholastic grads this year, maybe from this point forward.  18-year-olds are so brainwashed from living in the same social-political-economic environment their whole lives, I don’t see how they can process an outsider’s advice anyway, much less execute it.  But college grads – they have no excuse.

So to the college graduates of 2016:

Let me start by saying that I’m withholding my congratulations.  Oh sure, you may have done enough to get your degree, but what’s the accomplishment in that?  I've previously chided the act of celebrating high school diplomas, and as for you, was there ever a doubt that with enough time and money, you would eventually graduate?

Let’s get real.  With apologies to the rocket scientists out there, getting a college degree isn’t rocket science.  Heck, you didn’t even need to GO to college to get a degree.  Thanks to technology, not to mention lower standards, you can get a degree on-line for the most part.  If it was going to take a massive effort to get degree, you probably wouldn’t have gone to college in the first place.

As for what's next, like I've said to your predecessors, if you haven't figured that out yet, you've already made your first real-life screw up.  That's what the last 4 or 5 or 5+ years were for.  If that's you, then you're probably headed back to live in your all-too-willing parents' basement for an undisclosed period of time.  So much for repeating my best advice from last year to “go out there and try to never move back in with your parents!"

However, regardless of whether you are unemployed and living with your parents, or you are planning to travel the world and live day-by-day, or you actually have a job, there are still important things you now must do.  Be responsible.  Be accountable.  Be socially aware.  Have an opinion.  Have a sense of humor.  Improve yourself.  Positively influence those around you.

Most of all, figure out a way to contribute to the betterment of society -- it's not so hard.  For some of you that might mean staying in your parents basement, so if that's what you were going for, it all worked out.

The Real Mad Men

Not so long ago, I wrote about how much I enjoyed reading non-fiction books by Dave Barry.  He published a new humor book recently, titled Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster).  I got the book for Father's Day, and just finished it.

While it was another laugh out loud collection of essays, I was particularly interested in a section where Barry got semi-serious.  In a chapter titled The Real Mad Men, he wrote about how the parents of the Baby Boom generation lived their lives and raised their children differently from us modern parents.

He makes fun of how much today's parents coddle their children and worry about things, compared to how their parents rolled with the punches.  He makes the predictable comparisons in areas like sports ["If a kid played a sport, they might go to the games, but they didn't complain to the coach.....or make fools of themselves by getting into fights with other parents or screaming at the referee.  It just wasn't that big a deal to them.  It was kids paying games."] and education ["They found out how their child was doing when the child brought home a report card.....if the grades were bad, they didn't march into the school and complain that the school had failed their child.....they told their child to shape up, and they maybe even gave their child a smack on the back of the head."].

But at the end of the chapter, he makes this summary that should be required reading for most of today's parents:  "I'm not saying my parents' generation didn't give a crap.  I'm saying they gave a crap mainly about big things, like providing food and shelter.  Whereas we modern parents.....never stop parenting, making sure [kids] get whatever they want, removing obstacles from their path, solving their problems and worrying about what else will go wrong, so we can fix it for them.  Yes, we've gotten really, really good at parenting, we Boomers.  This is fortunate, because for some inexplicable reason a lot of our kids seem to have trouble getting a foothold in adult life, which is why so many of them are sill living with us at age thirty-seven."

"They're lucky they have us around."

Again Not Thankful

Here's the 6th annual edition of my Thanksgiving-time list of things for which I am not thankful. You can get to the trail of prior lists here or by using the label Thanksgiving.

As with prior years, this list is in no particular order:

Both a) rioters who disguise themselves as protesters, and b) white privilege.

'Follow the leader' gutless politicians.

Complicated wireless phone plans, and those entities which provide them.

Extreme winter weather in November.  (Basically, a repeat of 2013)

Enabling helicopter parents.

States like Iowa that can't even muster a conversation about medical marijuana legalization, while other states are already legalizing marijuana for recreational usage.

Those who proudly display their debt.

Really big butts, and the pop culture that currently glorifies them.

Social media trolls.

People who want you to think they care, but who really just want your attention.  (This would include anyone who did the ALS ice bucket challenge this year without actually donating money.)

Dear Graduating Class of 2014

Time for my annual advice to graduating seniors.  I'm going to once again concentrate on college-level seniors, but to high school graduates I have this reminder:  You haven't accomplished anything.  According to the census bureau, nearly 90% of U.S. citizens over age 25 have a high school education.  Congrats for not being the 1 out of 10, if it makes you feel better.  You know those graduation parties your parents threw to celebrate?  Those weren't actually for you, they were for your parents and other relatives, who survived your vain teenage years.  Call me in five years and we can talk about your accomplishments, if any.

As for our college graduates, I've decided I may have been too hard on you the past couple of years.  If you've got a bachelor's degree but no job or plans for independent living, you may not be entirely to blame.  It's clear there is another culprit, and I'm not referring to the economy.  It's your parents.

That's right, your parents are at least partially to blame for your troubles.  The children of the so-called 'greatest generation' have become the greatest coddlers.

You'd think that after hearing about our own parents winning World War II, then partaking in a mechanical and transportation revolution that put hard work at a premium, we would teach that same toughness and work ethic to our kids.  Instead, we've gone the other way.  We've excused your (in)actions, and often allowed you too much slack during college, where many of you now don't even attempt to find a full-time job until after graduation.

And there's no pressure to find a job, because we parents will do you graduates an even greater disservice by acting like we're your best friends.  We bring you back in to room with us while you consume without cost or limit, halfheartedly looking for full-time work during the day while wholeheartedly going out with your other unemployed friends at night.  Of course, you'll accept this offer -- why not?  It isn't as if you have anything else to do.

This seems especially crazy to me, because when your parents were your age, moving back in with their parents would have been less than a last resort.  Back then, college grads found a cheap apartment, a roommate (or two), a jalopy car, and a so-so job -- whatever it took to remain independent.  Have you become so lazy and reliant on your parents' money that you aren't willing to do these things?  For many of you, the answer is yes.

In summary, at your age, your grandparents were fighting a war, and your parents were on their own, possibly even married with children.  Most of you graduates are about as far from that as you can be.  So much for learning what you live.

So, it's up to you, graduates.  Your parents have sold out to be your friends.  Your friends have sold out to be your enablers.  Unless you have a trust fund, you're going to have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps (have your parents tie them first), and self-start your way out into the big world.

Good luck.  And remember, in the immortal words of Judge Smails from Caddyshack, "The world needs ditch-diggers, too."

Still More Unthankfulness

It's time for the 5th annual edition of my Thanksgiving-time list of things for which I am not thankful. You can get to the trail of prior lists here.

As usual, this list is in no particular order:

Sub-zero weather in November.

Iowa allowing smoking in its casinos, when it's banned everywhere else.

Government shutdowns.

Parents who don't hold their children accountable.

The botched heathcare.gov website.

Humble-braggers.

Bad football played by the teams for which I am a fan.

Ted Cruz.

Twerking.

Those still in denial about social movements that are irreversible (e.g. gay marriage, marijuana legalization).

Anyone who cares more about what I do, than they care about what they do.

Dear Graduating Class of 2013

I enjoyed writing last year's entry so much, it's now time for an updated version of my advice to this year's graduating class.  I'm going to stick with just college graduates this year, not only because one of my kids was one, but also since I don't think I can improve on my 2012 commencement message to high school graduates.

To make this year's message more universal, and in keeping with the educational theme, I'm going to make it multiple choice:

To the College Graduates of 2013:

Congratulations - [you / your parents / your banker] did it.  After [ 4 / 5 / 5+] years of [matriculation / partying / sleepwalking] , not to mention tens of thousands of [dollars / beers / hours of sleep] you have a degree.

You probably feel [good / great / overjoyed] about this accomplishment, and if you have a full-time job or have been accepted to graduate school, you should feel good.  But not too good, because now you still have to prove yourself to the [corporate / non-profit / academic] world.

On the other hand, if you have neither job prospects nor grad school plans, what the hell are you feeling good about?  You're over 22 years old, and you're likely going to be living with your [sibling / parents / 5 other unemployed friends].  Your life isn't getting better, it's getting [much / tons / overwhelmingly] worse.

Graduates, no matter what your plans are, it's time to take control of your own [life / bank account / destiny].  For some of you, this mean's you'll get to enjoy all of the [spoils / money / success] that capitalism has to offer. Unfortunately for the rest of you, this means a [low paying / hard labor / service industry] job, because you waited until now to take the controls.

Good luck, and above all, remember this:  You can't depend on [parents / government / wealthy friends] to get by forever.

Still Danger In Numbers

In honor of today, I give you something from last year.

Words Now That There Are Words

Now that we've had a week to absorb the mass murder of children and teachers at a Connecticut grade elementary school, as well as a week to listen to the pundits and politicians, let's just agree on one thing:

It will probably happen again.

Regardless of all of the talk about doing more in the area of mental health, it's almost certain that America won't do anything.  It isn't even a priority in a good economy; it surely won't be one now.  Short of imprisoning everyone currently on a mind-altering prescription drug, what could be done to absolutely ensure someone won't do something crazy?

Regardless of all of the talk about gun control and banning assault weapons, it's almost certain that America will stay the same.  Did you happen to see the NRA presser today, where they called for an armed guard at every school, which they would help train free of charge?!  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you another sign of the apocalypse, ironically on the same day many Mayan-worshipers predicted!

Regardless of all of the talk about how we'll never forget this, it's almost certain that America will slowly file this into the recesses of our collective minds, along with all of the other senseless mass killings by mentally unstable people.  We eventually will go days, then weeks, then months without thinking about it.  That's how human beings roll, excepting those directly affected.

My wife is a teacher, and despite all of the safeguards in place, a person would have no difficulty obtaining access inside the school.  Even if the system was foolproof, the windows would have to be bulletproof, so crazies like the Connecticut killer couldn't just shoot them out and enter that way.

Let's get real - the loss of freedoms to which Americans would have to agree, in order to absolutely prevent further school shootings, is something our dysfunctional, polarized culture is not willing to accept.  And if we aren't willing or able to do something while this multiple-child killing is on our collective consciousness, we aren't ever going to do it.

So, another school shooting is bound to happen again.  Not sure when, but it will, and that's the brutal reality for those with children, and for those who teach them.

Words When There Are No Words

STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT

ON SCHOOL SHOOTING IN NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT

James S. Brady Press Briefing Room

3:15 P.M. EST

This afternoon, I spoke with Governor Malloy and FBI Director Mueller.  I offered Governor Malloy my condolences on behalf of the nation, and made it clear he will have every single resource that he needs to investigate this heinous crime, care for the victims, counsel their families.

We’ve endured too many of these tragedies in the past few years.  And each time I learn the news I react not as a President, but as anybody else would — as a parent.  And that was especially true today.  I know there’s not a parent in America who doesn’t feel the same overwhelming grief that I do.

The majority of those who died today were children — beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old.  They had their entire lives ahead of them — birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own.  Among the fallen were also teachers — men and women who devoted their lives to helping our children fulfill their dreams.

So our hearts are broken today — for the parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers of these little children, and for the families of the adults who were lost.  Our hearts are broken for the parents of the survivors as well, for as blessed as they are to have their children home tonight, they know that their children’s innocence has been torn away from them too early, and there are no words that will ease their pain.

As a country, we have been through this too many times.  Whether it’s an elementary school in Newtown, or a shopping mall in Oregon, or a temple in Wisconsin, or a movie theater in Aurora, or a street corner in Chicago — these neighborhoods are our neighborhoods, and these children are our children.  And we're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics.

This evening, Michelle and I will do what I know every parent in America will do, which is hug our children a little tighter and we’ll tell them that we love them, and we’ll remind each other how deeply we love one another.  But there are families in Connecticut who cannot do that tonight.  And they need all of us right now.  In the hard days to come, that community needs us to be at our best as Americans.  And I will do everything in my power as President to help.

Because while nothing can fill the space of a lost child or loved one, all of us can extend a hand to those in need — to remind them that we are there for them, that we are praying for them, that the love they felt for those they lost endures not just in their memories but also in ours.

May God bless the memory of the victims and, in the words of Scripture, heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.

END           

3:20 P.M. EST

Facebook For The Over 40 Crowd

I've been on Facebook (or as the original creators and I call it, 'The Facebook') long enough now to have a pretty good idea of what is worthwhile, and what is a waste of time, for anyone older than 40.

[As an aside, it seems to me that Facebook usage begins to noticeably drop for people somewhere in their 30s.  It figures that once people's lives mature, they should get busier working on the relationships with their children and their careers, and have less time for social media.  Maybe this will change some as the Facebook generation matures, and the mobile technology further integrates.  As for the under-30 crowd on Facebook, I have no idea what's worthwhile - other than spending less time on it.]

Here are a few effective uses of Facebook for the over-40 crowd:

• Posting pictures and status of out-of-the-ordinary events, like football games or vacations.  No need to post pictures of your children or grandchildren (see below), with the possible exception of newborns in the form of a birth announcement.  And it's OK to post pictures of significant others, for others to creep on them.

• Re-connecting with old high school and college friends, ones who you liked well enough, but not well enough that you cared to keep in touch.  This comes with the added benefit of finding out what they look like, who they've become, and comparing that with what you thought they'd be.

• Sharing links to other interesting web-based material, especially video links.  Let me repeat - INTERESTING material.  Note that anything related to animals, especially cats, is not interesting.  Also note that contrary to what some say, politically-related info is perfectly acceptable, especially to those over 40.  Cute pictures or videos of pets don't affect your future, but political ideology does.

Here are a few ineffective uses of Facebook for the over-40 crowd:

• Posting pictures and status of children, especially older children.  Unless it's a big event, like prom or graduation, no one actually cares what your teenager is doing, as long as they aren't doing something illegal in my neighborhood.

• Liking statuses.  If you're over 40 years old, unless it's family, or unless you also have a pithy comment to attach to a someone else's status, don't simply 'like' it.  That super-cheesy, and it implicitly means you dislike status which you don't 'like.'  What's the point?

• Invitations to events.  Thanks for not calling, but this isn't going to work either.

One other thing for us oldsters - if you aren't going to check your Facebook page at least once every few days, why have you bothered to start one?  If your answer is to creep on your kids or their friends, that isn't good enough.