Dear Graduating Class of 2016

So ends another school year, and so begins another attempt at imparting wisdom upon this year’s graduates.  In the past, I’ve sometimes had messages for both high school and college graduates.   I’m going to ignore the scholastic grads this year, maybe from this point forward.  18-year-olds are so brainwashed from living in the same social-political-economic environment their whole lives, I don’t see how they can process an outsider’s advice anyway, much less execute it.  But college grads – they have no excuse.

So to the college graduates of 2016:

Let me start by saying that I’m withholding my congratulations.  Oh sure, you may have done enough to get your degree, but what’s the accomplishment in that?  I've previously chided the act of celebrating high school diplomas, and as for you, was there ever a doubt that with enough time and money, you would eventually graduate?

Let’s get real.  With apologies to the rocket scientists out there, getting a college degree isn’t rocket science.  Heck, you didn’t even need to GO to college to get a degree.  Thanks to technology, not to mention lower standards, you can get a degree on-line for the most part.  If it was going to take a massive effort to get degree, you probably wouldn’t have gone to college in the first place.

As for what's next, like I've said to your predecessors, if you haven't figured that out yet, you've already made your first real-life screw up.  That's what the last 4 or 5 or 5+ years were for.  If that's you, then you're probably headed back to live in your all-too-willing parents' basement for an undisclosed period of time.  So much for repeating my best advice from last year to “go out there and try to never move back in with your parents!"

However, regardless of whether you are unemployed and living with your parents, or you are planning to travel the world and live day-by-day, or you actually have a job, there are still important things you now must do.  Be responsible.  Be accountable.  Be socially aware.  Have an opinion.  Have a sense of humor.  Improve yourself.  Positively influence those around you.

Most of all, figure out a way to contribute to the betterment of society -- it's not so hard.  For some of you that might mean staying in your parents basement, so if that's what you were going for, it all worked out.