I enjoyed writing last year's entry so much, it's now time for an updated version of my advice to this year's graduating class. I'm going to stick with just college graduates this year, not only because one of my kids was one, but also since I don't think I can improve on my 2012 commencement message to high school graduates.
To make this year's message more universal, and in keeping with the educational theme, I'm going to make it multiple choice:
To the College Graduates of 2013:
Congratulations - [you / your parents / your banker] did it. After [ 4 / 5 / 5+] years of [matriculation / partying / sleepwalking] , not to mention tens of thousands of [dollars / beers / hours of sleep] you have a degree.
You probably feel [good / great / overjoyed] about this accomplishment, and if you have a full-time job or have been accepted to graduate school, you should feel good. But not too good, because now you still have to prove yourself to the [corporate / non-profit / academic] world.
On the other hand, if you have neither job prospects nor grad school plans, what the hell are you feeling good about? You're over 22 years old, and you're likely going to be living with your [sibling / parents / 5 other unemployed friends]. Your life isn't getting better, it's getting [much / tons / overwhelmingly] worse.
Graduates, no matter what your plans are, it's time to take control of your own [life / bank account / destiny]. For some of you, this mean's you'll get to enjoy all of the [spoils / money / success] that capitalism has to offer. Unfortunately for the rest of you, this means a [low paying / hard labor / service industry] job, because you waited until now to take the controls.
Good luck, and above all, remember this: You can't depend on [parents / government / wealthy friends] to get by forever.
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