Best Song Lyrics (Part XX)

I admit it, I'm a fan of acoustic music.  It doesn't matter if it's original acoustic music (think Norah Jones), or MOST modified acoustic versions of older songs.  (There are major exceptions, for instance, nobody needs to hear an acoustic version of Hey Ya! by OutKast, but I've heard it on the SiriusXM CoffeeHouse channel more than once.)

Earlier this month, one of my favorite acoustic musicians, Jack Johnson, was the musical guest on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.  Colbert was obviously a huge fan, singing a duet with Johnson on his song Sleep Through The Static, and also posting a separate impromptu rehearsal excerpt on the web.

A former champion surfer who still lives in Hawaii, Johnson has been a full-time singer-songwriter for about 15 years.  I've been listening to him on and off for about 10 years.  In my opinion, Johnson is best known for the songs Better Together and Upside Down, but as an acoustic guitarist outside of mainstream popular music, most people would not be able to identify even those tracks.

You get a definite Hawaiian vibe from his music, but he's also great with lyrics, much of them espousing progressive causes.  Let's go back to a verse and chorus from Sleep Through The Static, a 2008 song which uses smart lyrics to spite the reasoning behind the 2003 U.S invasion of Iraq, and the subsequent never-ending war:

Trouble travels fast
When you're specially designed for crash testing
Or wearing wool sunglasses in the afternoon
Come on and tell us what you're trying to prove

'Cause it's a battle when you dabble in war
You store it up, unleash it, then you piece it together
Whether the storm drain running rampant just stamp it
And send it to somebody who's pretending to care

Just cash in your blanks for little toy tanks
Learn how to use them, then abuse them and choose them
Over conversations relationships are overrated
I hated everyone said the sun

And so I will cook all your books
You're too good looking and mistooken
You could watch it instead
From the comfort of your burning beds
Or you can sleep through the static

Who needs sleep when we've got love?
Who needs keys when we've got clubs?
Who needs please when we've got guns?
Who needs peace when we've gone above
But beyond where we should have gone?
We went beyond where we should have gone

A Failed History Lesson

“Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”  So goes the famous quote attributed to Sir Winston Churchill.

This quote came to life for me again in the past week, after watching parts of two different, public television documentaries on the Vietnam War.   The main one was a new, 10-part series called The Vietnam War from Ken Burns.  The other was from a couple of years ago called Dick Cavett’s Vietnam.

I was only in the single-digits old during the Vietnam War, so I didn’t understand then what was happening, either in Southeast Asia or in America.  I only have a few real recollections of it.  One was a day around 1970, when my family was watching a television scroll of calendar days next to numbers.  (I didn’t realized this until many years later, but they were looking at the draft lottery, and probably wondering if a randomly drawn number would send a loved one to the war.)  Another memory was the day the war informally ended, in April 1975, watching TV reports of the last people being lifted by helicopter from the U.S. embassy roof in Saigon.

So, watching parts of these documentaries was new information for me.  It’s hard to understand even now how much of a dumb, tactical, human failure it was for the U.S.  Tremendous, unnecessary sacrifice and loss of life, just to keep a small, remote territory from becoming Communist.  But that’s the way it was then, Communism was our enemy, and we were blind to our limits to contain it.

What really struck me, however, is how similar things were to the (current) U.S. 'wars' in Iraq and Afghanistan.  They also started out as something that would be quickly managed, and with a fair amount of support after the 9/11 terrorist attacks.  But again, we were blind to our limits to defeat an idea (terrorism), and the length of the wars and their eventual human cost, which turned American attitudes against it.

Not only are there general similarities, but as the Cavett documentary showed, there are fascinating similarities with the personalities involved then and now.   I thought of a number of them within a few minutes as I was watching:

Lyndon Johnson = George W. Bush

Robert McNamara = Donald Rumsfeld

Dick Cavett = Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert

Warren Beatty and Jane Fonda = George Clooney (and Jane Fonda?)

Muhammad Ali = ?  Unfortunately, no contemporary famous athlete compares to him, and no contemporary athlete suffered like him.

It’s was 40 years between the Vietnam War and the Iraq / Afghanistan conflicts.  Did we learn anything from history?  Now it’s been 50 years since the Vietnam War.  Have we learned anything yet?

2016

It's once again time to review my 2015 list of things I'd like to see happen, and lay out my hopes for 2016.  Here's the 2015 list, with new notes in ALL CAPS:

-Less glorification of big butts.
I'M DECLARING VICTORY ON THIS, BECAUSE IT MOVED FROM A 9 TO AN 8 ON A SCALE OF 1-10.

-A Final Four for Iowa State men's basketball, and an NCAA tournament berth for both Iowa and Northern Iowa men's basketball.
OH, SO CLOSE.  THAT IS, IF YOU CAN CALL ISU LOSING IN THEIR FIRST NCAA TOURNAMENT GAME AS A 3 SEED 'CLOSE'

-More action, less inaction by the U.S. Congress.
A PERPETUALLY WASTED HOPE.

-Stephen Colbert dominating late night television, with Conan and Fallon and Stewart right behind.
OTHER THAN JON STEWART RETIRING, I FEEL THIS IS STARTING TO HAPPEN.

-Common use of Apple Pay.
NOT AS COMMON YET AS IT SHOULD BE.

-Might as well go for it again -- at least medicinal marijuana legalization in Iowa.
C'MON, MAN! PROGRESS IN SOME OTHER STATES, BUT NOT IN IOWA.

-A vaccine against Ebola.
DID NOT HAPPEN, STILL WORKING ON IT.

-A week-long vacation for me.
DID NOT HAPPEN, STILL WORKING ON IT.

For 2016 I'd like to see:

At least some progress, not regress, on medicinal marijuana legalization in Iowa.

Chris Christie versus Hillary Clinton for president, with ? winning.

A higher stock market.

Just one actual, even very minor piece of legislation to make it slightly more difficult to buy a gun.

The personal, financial, and political implosion of Donald Trump.

A way to charge devices without a wire.

An à la carte option for cable and satellite TV channels.

More time for eating right, less time for exercise.

2015

As with last year, let's review the things I said I'd like to see in 2014, with my new notes in ALL CAPS:

-The (continued) fall of the so-called Tea Party conservatives.
(NOT REALLY.  GIVEN THE OUTCOME OF THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS, THEY'VE AT LEAST HELD AND MAYBE GAINED STRENGTH.)

-Less Kanye / Less Miley.
(NO FOR KANYE, YES FOR MILEY.)

-Apple TV.
(NOPE, BUT WE GOT APPLE PAY AND WE'RE GETTING THE APPLE WATCH.)

-NCAA basketball Sweet 16 trips for either Iowa and Iowa State.
(NO FOR IOWA, YES FOR IOWA STATE.)

-Better football from the Cyclones and Vikings - the bar is incredibly low.
(NO FOR THE CYCLONES, YES - BARELY - FOR THE VIKINGS.)

-Warmer Spring weather, at least where it doesn't snow again in May.
(IT WAS DEFINITELY BETTER.)

-More legalization of marijuana beyond what's happening in Colorado on 1/1/2014.
(YES, SORT OF.  THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PASSED A VOTE TO LEGALIZE IT.  BUT STATES LIKE IOWA STILL CAN'T BRING THEMSELVES TO EVEN LEGALIZE MEDICINAL USE.)

-A la carte cable TV channels.  It's only a matter of time before cable providers will have to do this to compete with computer streaming.  Why not in 2014?
(NO AGAIN, ALTHOUGH COMPANIES LIKE NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME ARE INCHING US CLOSER TO IT.)

For 2015 I'd like to see:

Less glorification of big butts.

A Final Four for Iowa State men's basketball, and an NCAA tournament berth for both Iowa and Northern Iowa men's basketball.

More action, less inaction by the U.S. Congress.

Stephen Colbert dominating late night television, with Conan and Fallon and Stewart right behind.

Common use of Apple Pay.

Might as well go for it again -- at least medicinal marijuana legalization in Iowa.

A vaccine against Ebola.

A week-long vacation for me.

A Self-Professed Idiot

My Favorite Martian, WOITH Rep. Steve King of Iowa, is at it again.  Our resident racist / homophobe / bigot had a few (dumb) things to say in support of Arizona's proposed anti-gay, er, I mean religious freedom legislation (which I just wrote about the other day).

I'm happy to say The Colbert Report punished him.  You must watch this video now.

The Late Shows

Four years ago, I wrote about my disdain over NBC's handling of Conan O'Brien's short stint as the host of The Tonight Show.  Conan was robbed, and he eventually ended up on TBS at 10pm central time, where I dutifully DVR his shows.

Now four years later, Leno is leaving again, this time 'agreeing' to leave so that NBC can move in a younger guy, Jimmy Fallon. Where have we seen this before?

I like Fallon and what he's done on the Late Night show, as I did with Conan.  And as with Conan, I'll probably start watching the Tonight Show again, (I gave it up in disgust after Leno came back), although in the 10:30pm half-hour I prefer watching The Colbert Report.  I haven't watched much of The Late Show with David Letterman over the past few years - used to watch it religiously, but we've both gotten too old for his show.

Good-bye again, Jay.  You should have stayed away.

The Liars Club

As we enter the heart of election season in presidential election year, so do we enter a time when the rhetoric is at an all-time high.  If only it was just rhetoric.

These days, we don't have rhetoric, which would be fairly defined as persuasive but insincere speech.  Instead, we have intellectual dishonesty, which I would define as a failure to apply a rational standards that one is fully aware of.

(Yes, I got those definitions with the help of the internet, defined as a place from which you can get information to help prove your point.  Also, don't confuse these terms with another one of my favorites, 'truthiness', coined by Stephen Colbert as something people claim to know intuitively because it feels right, in the gut, without regard to the facts.)

Intellectual dishonesty is what political campaigners (and most people) engage in these days.  It's when a person knows but ignores the facts, and says or does something contrary to those facts in an attempt to convince people otherwise.  Let me use it in a sentence: "Every word that comes out of Michele Bachmann's mouth has the smell of intellectually dishonesty."

While this kind of thing obviously happens in politics, but just think about the day-to-day applications.  What workplace doesn't have one or more employees who aren't as sharp as their co-workers, but tries to cover up their shortcomings by skewing the truth, and parsing the blame onto others?  And don't get me started on the so-called 'financial advisors' who spend their days selling products to people who don't need them, in order to get a big commission.

Intellectual dishonesty is the same as lying, and it is currently pervasive in our society.

It's Easy To Be Number 3

For as long as I've lived in Des Moines, the ABC-TV affiliate, WOI, has been a distant 3rd in local TV ratings.  Basically, no one watches their news at 5, 6, or 10pm.  This is despite the fact that over the past 10 years they may have had the best weather director and sports director of all three broacast affiliates.

One thing they've consistently had during this time, however, is dumb management.  They changed general managers earlier this year, but it apparently only made them dumber.

This link will tell you why, by way of another very funny Colbert Report clip:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/394521/august-11-2011/colbert-super-pac---confused-by-rick-parry-with-an--a--for-america

Truth And Prevention

I haven't mentioned WOITH member and Iowa congressman (and possibly Martian) Steve King in a while, although I could do so virtually any day.

He and his Fox News friends are at it again, this time over the new Obama administration's stance that insurers cover contrceptives as preventative care.  A controversial position, but not exactly for the flat-earth reasoning of King.  Check out the clip from this week's The Colbert Report:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/393824/august-03-2011/women-s-health-nazi-plan

I especially enjoyed Colbert's remark that a woman's health is a private matter between..... her priest and her husband!  Satire is funnier when it's not so far from the truth.

While I'm at it, let me take this time to officially elevate his Tea Party mistress, Minnesota congressperson Michele Bachmann, to WOITH status. Her stance to not raise the U.S. debt ceiling is effectively saying it's better to have an international economic crisis than it is for the U.S. to pay the bills it has already incurred.

It's going to be fun having her around Iowa to campaign for president, telling everyone she would do the opposite of what Obama does without ever actually saying what she would do.

Bobby's Pledge (Part II)

Based on a segment in last night's show, I can only conclude that Stephen Colbert must be reading my blog.

http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.com/2011/07/13/stephen-colbert-weighs-in-on-iowa-marriage-pledge/

How To Become A National Joke

As a regular viewer and Twitter follower of The Colbert Report, I see some of the best political satire there is to offer. Colbert and his writers regularly ridicule the self-importance of others in a genius way.

Nothing has been better than this week when Colbert took on Tyson Zone member Bob Vander Plaats. I saw this when it originally aired - it doesn't hurt that it starts with a few digs at Tea-Party goofball Michele Bachmann:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/381487/april-12-2011/threat-level--rainbow

Congrats, Bob. You have now officially been upgraded from local joke to national joke.

Some Of You Should Read This Book

Six years ago, the writers of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart published one of the best books of political satire I've ever read, America (The Book). This so-called "Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction" chronicled the history and workings of democracy in civics textbook form, including inforgraphics and sidebar opinions (from the likes of Stephen Colbert).

Spring Break gave me a chance to finally read through the latest book from the writers of The Daily Show, Earth (The Book). This "Citizen's Guide to the Human Race" may be the most entertaining, sharpest, and cleverly written book I've ever read. It again takes the textbook format used in the prior book, but this time to an even higher level.

Earth (The Book) is aimed at an audience of aliens who find the Earth deserted after the human race spectacularly manufactures its own demise. The subject matter has shifted from US politics and education to the planet and world civilization. And while America (The Book) was mostly written with many text passages and included commented infographics, Earth (The Book) is basically the opposite, with more commented infographics making for dozens of satice-laced jokes per page.

To give the history of the world some focus, the chapters are broken down into things like society, religion, science, and culture. A great example of the book can be found in the chapter on commerce, where newspapers float in the high-supply, low-demand quadrant of a supply/demand graph, just below ketchup packets and slightly above blogs.

One warning about this book - it will help tremendously if you have above-average intelligence, enjoy satire, follow pop culture, and have watched The Daily Show. If you aren't into any of those things, you aren't going to get this book. If you are into at least 2 of those 4, you will be entertained.

4 out of 4, and it will be one of the best books you'll ever read.

Dear Graduating Class of 2010

Among the great mysteries of our day is, how come I've never been invited to give a commencement address? I think I'd be very good at it.

Alas, it appears this will remain on my bucket list for another year. In the meantime, what follows is an excerpt from a commencement speech given by Stephen Colbert to Knox College in 2006. I couldn't have said it better myself, and besides, I didn't need to:

Today is about you — you who have worked so hard to pack your heads with learning until your skulls are all plump like a sausage of knowledge. It's an apt metaphor, don't question it. But now your time at college is at an end. Now you are leaving here. And this leads me to a question that just isn't asked enough at commencements. Why are you leaving here?

This seems like a very nice place. Besides, have you seen the world outside lately? They are playing for KEEPS out there, folks. My God, I couldn't wait to get here today just so I could take a breather from the real world. I don't know if they told you what's happened while you've matriculated here for the past four years. The world is waiting for you people with a club.

There are so many challenges facing this next generation, and I don't know if you're tough enough to handle this. You are the most coddled generation in history. I belong to the last generation that did not have to be in a car seat. You had to be in car seats. I did not have to wear a helmet when I rode my bike. You do. You have to wear helmets when you go swimming, right? In case you bump your head against the side of the pool?

But you seem nice enough, so I'll try to give you some advice. First of all, when you go to apply for your first job, don't wear those robes. Medieval garb does not instill confidence in future employers — unless you're applying to be a scrivener.

And if someone does offer you a job, say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least you'll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing.

Stupidity Is Easy

As I do on a lot of weeknights, late last night I was flipping the TV back and forth between The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien and The Colbert Report (with Stephen Colbert). Two funny guys with great shows - but not my point.

Conan's first guest was Bill Maher, the politically opinionated comedian. They talked about a recent controversy involving comments Maher made about Americans being stupid, and a piece he eventually wrote to defend that opinion. It's a must read at
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/new-rule-smart-president_b_253996.html

Of course, it's inflammatory and an over-generalization to say Americans are stupid. But statistically speaking, it has the element of truth. As I've said before, we are in many ways a nation of sheep, allowing other people to tell us what to believe in or what is good for us without thinking about it for ourselves. It sort of comes naturally to us over time, as each generation learns to do what is easy and avoid what is hard. And it's a lot easier to know nothing than it is to know something.

America survives and will continue to thrive because unlike so many other countries, individuals have the freedom and tools to reach their potential, however limited that may be. As Carl the groundskeeper says in the movie Caddyshack, "So I got that going for me. Which is nice."