Best Song Lyrics (Part XXII)

A few years ago, I saw the touring production of the Broadway show Beautiful: The Carole King Musical.  Until then, I had no idea how many great songs Carole King had written for herself and for others.

I probably should have known better.  I was a pre-teen in the 1960s and 1970s, so it wasn't as if I cared that much about music during the peak Carole King years.  But I had older brothers and sisters who were listening to her music on the radio.  I just didn't make the connection back then.

Along with her writing partner and future spouse (and later ex-spouse), Gerry Goffin, King turned out several hits that others recorded, like Up On The Roof, The Loco-Motion, and Will You Love Me Tomorrow.  The list of songs credited to King the solo artist is equally impressive, including I Feel The Earth Move, and You've Got A Friend.  (The latter was recorded first by James Taylor, but yes, written by King.)

King's famous album Tapestry alone has several hits on it, but to illustrate her songwriting skills I'll single out her pre-1980s technology break-up song So Far Away:

So far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn't help to know that you're just time away

Long ago, I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
Oh, how I wish I could
But you're so far away, yeah

One more song about movin' along the highway
I can't say much of anything that's new
But if I could only work this life out my way
I'd rather spend it bein' close to you

But you're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn't help to know, you're so far away

In Defense Of Mechanisms

 A few months ago I made a blog entry about an Intro to Psychology class I took as a freshman in college, and how much of it I still remembered.  A good deal of what was taught in that class came from the research and writings of the most well-known psychological thinker of all-time, Sigmund Freud.

One of those Freudian items was his seven psychological defense mechanisms.  These are essentially ways the mind copes with itself, none of which are particularly appealing:

• Denial: Refusing to accept that something exists or happened, or perhaps simply altering the meaningfulness of an outcome to convince oneself it wasn't important.

• Intellectualization: Thinking about something logically or coldly and without emotion.  

• Projection: Attributing a threatening aspect of oneself to someone else, like accusing another of being angry with you when you in fact are angry with them.

• Rationalization: Creating an acceptable but incorrect explanation of a situation.

• Reaction formation: Doing the opposite of what you would really like to do, such as going out of the way to be nice to someone you really disliked.

• Regression: Returning to an earlier or more childlike form of behavior.

• Repression: Keeping a thought, feeling, or memory of an experience out of consciousness, often with an emotionally difficult situation.

(It's noteworthy that Denial also happens to be the first stage of grief, as I mentioned in that prior post.  It's the quickest and easiest defense mechanism to use, and also the worst one for our society.)  

I've been thinking about these defense mechanisms a lot lately, probably because their usage is way up.  Some of them have come to mind when observing the way people are dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic.  Others have been particularly applicable to politicians and political parties in this election year.  I'm not kidding when I say the current president will occasionally use all of these defense mechanisms in a single reply to a basic question.  (The possible exception is Intellectualization, because that implies logic is involved.)

The point of this all is, 1) I remember obscure things from this college class, and 2) recognizing these defense mechanisms -- not just unknowingly using them -- would enhance everyone's ability to cope with life.

Blocked

You only have to look up the label 'Facebook' on this blog to know I've never been a huge fan.  It was a cool new way for youngsters to communicate at first, but then it was co-opted by adults, and its owners' choices in monetizing the content and data.

If I'm so down on Facebook, you might wonder why I have a Facebook account.  For years now, the answer has been because I use it as an information and entertainment source.

I follow a few comedy shows, see some amusing memes, and get some free info about where other people are and what they're doing.  (BTW, such a dumb thing to do when you're clearly going to be away from home for a while.)  I rarely post anything myself.

More recently, however, I can't take it all.  Too many people posting too many personal, religious / political views, plus other content that I don't agree with.  In the past I might have just un-followed those folks, but I've decided those people deserve less.  So.....

I've started to block those who frequently and consistently post that stuff.  I'm not interested in their boring status updates, and I'm sure they don't care about my infrequent ones -- but just in case, they won't see them.  It was a small act on my part, but it actually felt pretty good to do it.

I didn't expect that feeling, but I felt that way nonetheless.  It was nice to take control of the content, and in a way, set a price of admission for other people to see mine.

The Drive West

 A few years ago, I documented a solo drive on Interstate 80 from Des Moines to eastern Pennsylvania, on a road trip to Philadelphia.  This week, I did the opposite, a solo drive from Philadelphia to Des Moines.  I intentionally took a different route back via a few different interstate roads -- here's my summary:

* In Pennsylvania, Interstate 76 doubles as the Pennsylvania Turnpike.  The eastern half is mundane until your reach Harrisburg, where the terrain takes on the Allegheny Mountain range to the border.  You actually go through three fairly long tunnels carved out of those mountains.

* Who knew that as I-76 morphs into Interstate 70, you drive through just a few miles of West Virginia before entering Ohio?  I didn't.

* I-70 through Ohio isn't memorable, not even going through Columbus -- it's not like you see their famous zoo, or any of Ohio State University.  The closest thing to interesting is near Dayton, where you come quite close to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, which you can't see, either.

* The interstate through Indiana is equally boring, except for Indianapolis.  It turns out the quickest way to get from I-70 to Interstate 74 is by taking the road that goes through Speedway, Indiana, right by the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.  As you might expect, seemingly every business around it uses the word 'Speedway' in it.

* Once in Illinois and back on Central Time, the super-flat drive quickly goes through a bunch of college towns: Champaign (University of Illinois), Normal (Illinois State), and Peoria (Bradley).  Seems like a bunch of places not to stop right now, as college kids become potential COVID-19 super-spreaders.

* Just west of the Quad Cities, it's time to make a final stop at the I-80 Truck Stop near Walcott, the largest truck stop in the country.  It's a tourist attraction.  It even has a trucking museum....I'm just saying.

A Pod Would Be Good For You

Now that it's August 2020, it's time to take a vacation from writing about topics related to pandemics and politics.  I'm going to write about another 'p' word instead -- podcasts.

With a lack of original content currently being made by TV and movie studios, podcasts have become a go-to for original digital content.  There are so many podcasts available now, most of them free to hear as long as you don't mind skipping over some advertising.

Podcasts might be about sports, music, comedy, politics, economics, and so forth.  I've listened to podcasts in all of those genres, but I've currently settled on a couple that I try to listen to weekly, each about 50 minutes long.

It isn't always easy to keep up with the content, especially since I don't have a commute to work. I try to listen on bike rides or at the edges of the day.  The thing is, it doesn't take 50 minutes to listen to them, since you can make the audio run at 1.5x or 2x speed.

My #1 podcast, one that I've listened to for years, is still Freakonomics Radio.  Like the best selling books that preceded it, the author / host uses economic theory to explore the hidden side of topics.  It surely won't appeal to everyone, but for me it's very informative, not to mention intellectually stimulating.

It remains to be seen if the podcasting boom is temporary or permanent.  It's become a very crowded space.  There's only so much advertising to go around in a bad economy, and eventually the original TV and motion picture apparatus will return.

BLM v COVID

Amidst the chaos created by the COVID-19 pandemic and America’s failed federal response to it, we’ve had another major, culture-shifting series of events that has changed how the nation deals with issues of race.  I’ll reference to it as the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement.

BLM has been around for years, in response to over-aggressive and often fatal police interactions with black men and women.  More recently, a series of these avoidable, deadly interactions has been captured on video by either security cameras or individuals, the most notable being the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis.

The BLM movement is now everywhere, manifested in large protests across the country.  White people are now beginning to understand the systemic, often unseen and unrecognized racism that pervades in the U.S.  There’s been a renewed effort to eliminate not only the racism, but the symbols of it, including things like the confederate flag and confederate statues.

Of course, ‘fixing’ 300 years of systemic racism isn’t going to happen overnight.  There’s still BLM resistance from the overt and covert white supremacy folks, and from the president, although saying that is redundant.  The current federal government, along with some states, would still much prefer to maintain the status quo privileges of the white Christian male.

What's equally infuriating about it is the simpleton argument from the opposition that 'all lives matter' as if that negates the BLM cause.  Here's the best analogy I've seen to counter this:  If your house is on fire, should the fire department come and pour water on all the houses on your street?  Because all houses matter, right?  Of course all houses matter, but the one to focus on is the one that's on fire.  How hard is this for people to understand? 

Private businesses will have to lead on this for now, as individuals are drawn to those showing more action, especially with their dollars.  Following the money – it’s the American Way.

When we look back on 2020, we’ll primarily consider the pandemic and how it changed society.  However, the longer lasting impact of 2020 will be how the BLM changed the way people view racism.

The Stages Of Grief For Celebrations

One of the first college classes I took was Intro to Psychology.  It's the kind of basic class you want to take if you have an undeclared major or an elective to fill, which is probably why it was mainly filled with freshmen and seniors.

It was an easy class, generally only requiring memorization for success, but it's surprising how much of it I still remember.  One of those things is the psychological stages of grief:  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

[Technically, these were identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross as the stages of grief for the terminally ill in her book On Death and Dying (yes, I even remember that!) but over time they've been attributed to more than just terminal illness.]

I've often applied these stages of grief to other things.  I once did an entire presentation to a large group about the years-long need for additional financing for a project, and I used the stages of grief as a simile of sorts.  I suggested that in the past year, some in the room had moved from denial to anger to bargaining, but most hadn't yet made it to depression much less acceptance.  So I told them I was taking it upon myself to depress them that day as much as possible so they'd get to acceptance faster.

Recently, I've been applying the stages of grief to how people are treating aspects of the COVID-19 pandemic.  For example, we've got an executive branch of federal government that denied it, then got angry as it happened, and is so corrupt that it will never get beyond bargaining over it while people die.

However, it's particularly applicable to those who have/had planned gatherings of many people, whether it be graduation parties, baby showers, or weddings.  First, there's a denial that the event can't happen.  Then anger about how a rare pandemic could get in the way.  Then there's the stage most are in, which is bargaining for a way to still make the event happen against needlessly exposing guests to the virus.  Of course, this also includes bargaining with vendors over monetary deposits that may have been made.

Not everyone has managed to get through to the depression stage, and then ultimate acceptance that the event either isn't going to happen, or won't be happening anywhere close to the original plan.  And not all of those who've managed to make it to acceptance are done; those proceeding with alternate plans are finding themselves right back at denial when those revised arrangements are also partly stymied.

It's a terrible year to have planned for any type of celebration, much less to try to execute said celebration.  I'm glad I'm not in that group, but if I was, I'd try to get through the stages of grief as soon as possible.