All That Lying Got You Nowhere

I can't let this week pass without a tribute to U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, an always reliable member of the WOITH club.  This week, she released a web video announcement about how she isn't going to run for re-election.

Mixed feelings about this.  On one hand, it's good to get people with extremist views out of government.  On the other hand, I'm going to miss how much her dumb comments damaged others who shared her views.

This article from PolitiFact pretty well sums up her fundamental intellectual dishonesty.  In the larger sense, it reflects how the so-called Tea Party has devolved from a grassroots taxpayer watchdog group, into an extreme right-wing group with no chance of gaining a serious mainstream following.

But at least for a while, she won't go away yet in Iowa, where her pitiful 2012 presidential campaign and campaign manager have serious legal problems, related to how they handled their funds and their affairs.

Plus, it's only a matter of time before she becomes a Fox News commentator and/or lobbyist.  That's sure to keep us entertained for a while.

In the meantime, to U.S. Rep. Steve King, you're up!

Dear Graduating Class of 2013

I enjoyed writing last year's entry so much, it's now time for an updated version of my advice to this year's graduating class.  I'm going to stick with just college graduates this year, not only because one of my kids was one, but also since I don't think I can improve on my 2012 commencement message to high school graduates.

To make this year's message more universal, and in keeping with the educational theme, I'm going to make it multiple choice:

To the College Graduates of 2013:

Congratulations - [you / your parents / your banker] did it.  After [ 4 / 5 / 5+] years of [matriculation / partying / sleepwalking] , not to mention tens of thousands of [dollars / beers / hours of sleep] you have a degree.

You probably feel [good / great / overjoyed] about this accomplishment, and if you have a full-time job or have been accepted to graduate school, you should feel good.  But not too good, because now you still have to prove yourself to the [corporate / non-profit / academic] world.

On the other hand, if you have neither job prospects nor grad school plans, what the hell are you feeling good about?  You're over 22 years old, and you're likely going to be living with your [sibling / parents / 5 other unemployed friends].  Your life isn't getting better, it's getting [much / tons / overwhelmingly] worse.

Graduates, no matter what your plans are, it's time to take control of your own [life / bank account / destiny].  For some of you, this mean's you'll get to enjoy all of the [spoils / money / success] that capitalism has to offer. Unfortunately for the rest of you, this means a [low paying / hard labor / service industry] job, because you waited until now to take the controls.

Good luck, and above all, remember this:  You can't depend on [parents / government / wealthy friends] to get by forever.

Berky Meeting Nuggets 2013

Here's this year's summary of the best business meeting you'll ever attend, the Berkshire Hathaway annual shareholders meeting, held this year on May 4th and presided over by Chairman Warren Buffett and Vice Chairman Charlie Munger.  (Go here for 2011, and here for 2012.)

On the Federal Reserve’s moves to keep lending flowing by pushing rates low:

Buffett said that he backs the Fed’s chairman, Ben Bernanke, and notes that the policy hasn’t led to inflation.  But still, interest rates will rise, and it will be a “shot heard around the world.”

On the trillions of dollars in debt in the past few years:

Buffett said he was glad the response to the economic downturn hasn’t been austerity, which would have hindered any sort of recovery.  Munger, who’s more conservative than his friend, agreed.  Buffett did praise the prior president, pointing out in particular 10 words of wisdom from the financial crisis: “if money doesn’t loosen up, this sucker could go down.”  While the national debt remains troublingly high, Buffett said, “this isn’t the country’s toughest hour by a large margin.”

On beating an index fund by buying shares in the 20 best companies in the United States:

Buffett said the results would probably be similar, then launched into a bigger point that there are professional investors, and then there are amateurs who invest.  Being the former requires a lot of work and research, which many, many amateurs don’t have the time or inclination to do.  The main problem for most people, he said, is “trying to behave like a professional when you aren’t spending the time in the game needed to be a professional.”

On climate change:

Buffett believes that climate change is real, and he said that it’s a difficult thing for Berkshire’s insurance operations to account for.  Munger then added that what actually seemed to work was the high taxes that European governments have levied on motor fuel.  “I think they’ve stumbled into the right policy,” he said. “I think the United States should have way higher taxes on motor fuel.”

Let's Give Each Other An Award

Their is nothing wrong with being wealthy, and there's certainly nothing wrong with being philanthropically wealthy.  However, do super-wealthy people understand the subtle arrogance of their often public philanthropy?

I thought about this last week, while browsing a local quarterly magazine that markets to the affluent of central Iowa.  Among the advertisements for custom home builders, art stores, fine dining, and spas, there are socialite pictures of the Des Moines hoi-polloi attending various charity galas and award ceremonies.

It's undoubtedly true that many of these folks have donated big amounts of time and money to charities and other civic causes.  They are to be commended for that. Apparently, they feel the same way, because the pictures in the magazine show many of the same folks at every one of the these formal affairs.

The circle goes something like this:  An very wealthy executive is named to a charitable or civic board, and after a while they are honored for their service (read: money), for which they get an award at a formal ceremony, at which another wealthy executive there rotates up to replace them on the board, and the cycle begins anew.

Over a long enough period of time, these wealthy civic socialites end up giving awards to each other for their meritorious service.  It must be tough giving an acceptance speech when you've heard them all before.

I admire wealthy people who are genuinely philanthropic, and I suppose there's no reason to begrudge someone willing to be an award-winning figurehead from which more money can be raised.  For some, however, there is clearly an attention-seeking aspect to it all.

It's a little bit like adults seeking to be the king or the queen of the prom.  Isn't it enough just to be a part of it?

Her Name is Lolo, She Was A Track Star

This was Drake Relays weekend in Des Moines, and elite track athletes (along with select collegiates and Iowa high schoolers) descended upon the city at one of the premier track meets in America.  The field was especially good this year, with big prize money drawing many current and future Olympians.

Among the many elites was Des Moines' own Lolo Jones, the pride of Theodore Roosevelt High School.  Lolo was a great collegiate hurdler, who gained fame in 2008 as a favorite to win the women's Olympic 100 meter hurdles in Beijing, and led the final with two hurdles to go, only to clip the second-to-last one and not place.

This had to be one of the more devastating moments in recent Olympic history.  I mean, it could easily replace the falling ski jumper as the 'agony of defeat' visual on Wide World of Sports.  In the face of this, Lolo was determined to return 4 years later and get a medal.  Against the odds, she qualified for the 2012 London Olympics, and made the final, but ultimately did not place again.

Since the disappointment of 2008, Lolo has been known as much for attention she's gained off the track, from her good looks (modeling) to some controversial statements she's made in national interviews and social media.  More recently, she's become a member of the U.S. women's bobsled team, with a chance at an Olympic medal in that sport in 2014.

This has all led to some resentment from other track athletes, about the attention Lolo gets for not winning.  I used to think that was just jealously, and she deserved a break.  Until two things happened.

First, a few years ago an athletic trainer working at the Drake Relays told me what a diva Lolo was to work with.  Now this week, after not winning at the Drake Relays again (she finished 4th), Lolo complained to the media that there was always more pressure at Drake, so many demands on her time, it affected her performance.  She was sure there would be more haters out there.

C'mon now.  People want to like Lolo for all she's been through, including a tough childhood.  But let's face it, no one has made a better career out of not winning than Lolo has.  She chose to do that modeling, those interviews, her tweets, the bobsled deal.  If she feels her Q-rating is falling now, that's on her.

After London, one writer compared Lolo to tennis' formerly popular and attractive non-winner Anna Kournikova, which really wasn't fair because Lolo did win world titles.  The other difference, however, is that after a while, Kournikova went away, and didn't try to re-invent herself in later years as anything other than the mediocre pro tennis player she was.

I'd say it's time to stop keeping track (no pun intended) of Lolo.  I guess that makes me a hater.  I still wish good luck to her, but there are other athletes more worthy of attention.  In the meantime, here's my ode to Lolo, sung to the tune of 'Copacabana':

Her name is Lolo
She was a track star
But that was several years ago
When she used have the 'go'
Now she does bobsled
She's getting older
Not sure to cheer her or to boo
Let's all move on to someone new

Still Danger In Numbers

In honor of today, I give you something from last year.

One Man's Garbage

Lots of possible blog topics this week.  I could write about the idiot Boston Marathon bombers, or the idiot U.S. Senators that can't even bring themselves to vote on, much less pass, any form of new gun control legislation.

Instead, I choose to write about an annual rite of passage that occurred in my suburb this week, known as Spring Cleanup week.

Spring Cleanup is the one week every year that residents can put just about any kind or size of garbage on their curbside to be picked up.  Most residents do just that, throwing out appliances, electronics, lumber, etc.

Over the years, Spring Cleanup week has become a city-wide free garage sale.  Once residents start putting their stuff on the curb, soon there will be a lot of unidentified vehicle traffic circling the neighborhood.  Rough-looking strangers will emerge from their muffler-less pickups, swarming to curbsides in an attempt to be the first to drive away with treasures that can only be found in one man's garbage.

For the most part, these are benevolent strangers, who vary from for-profit scrap metal recyclers to your basic lower-class garage sale flippers.  And they will take virtually anything of value, even if it's old and/or damaged.

There is one problem, however, with their etiquette related to leaving things as they found them.  If I put a pile of junk near my curb, I don't want people rummaging through it and spreading my neat pile into a messy pile.

It may be junk, but let's keep it neat, people.