RAGBRAI - 2023 Edition

I last rode my bike on RAGBRAI in 2017, after coming out of a self-imposed retirement for the second time.  I didn't ride in 2018, and drove a support vehicle one day in 2019.  There was no ride in 2020, and I've had no desire to ride, nor fear of missing out, the past two years.

2023, however, marked the 50th RAGBRAI.  In conjunction with that, the route tried to follow the original route, staring in Sioux City and ending in Dubuque, with larger overnight towns in between.  So yeah, I had to come out of RAGBRAI retirement for the third (and final?) time to ride another day.

Compared to most segments, the one I rode this year from Ames to Des Moines was easy.  It was flat, with little climb, and under 60 miles total.  I can only think of one prior day of RAGBRAI I ever rode that was less strenuous.

The one big negative was the heat.  It was a sunny, humid, near 100 degree day, with little wind.  Water and shade were at a premium.  I can only thing of one prior day of RAGBRAI I ever rode that might have been as uncomfortably warm.

But forget all that.....here are this year's observations:

* There were an estimated 60,000 riders on this day, probably a one-day record.  Consequently, the roads and stops along the way were jam packed.  The number of cyclists also meant it was more dangerous than usual, as you were constantly surrounded by riders on the road.  And some of them hadn't spent much time handling a bike on their own, much less a bike in a crowd.

* An unfortunate RAGBRAI tradition continued, as the first town from the start simply wasn't big enough to handle everyone wanting to stop there for early morning food/beverage nourishment/elimination.  (The elimination part is true for all towns; there are never enough portable toilets.)  To make matters worse this year, due to the number of cyclists, most had to walk (rather than ride) for the final 1/2 mile into the town.

* Pie report: Had some good church-lady berry pie.  Didn't find pineapple pie, but did find a delicious peach-pineapple slice at a corporate stand.

* Demographics report: The ride continues to age.  My estimated ratio would be 10 age 50+ people for every younger one.  Virtually no one under 30, and this on a day the ride went from a college town to a nightclub area of a large city, when you'd think a younger person my be more interested.

* I was pleasantly surprised to see almost no E-bikes on the day.  I counted two.  Let me be clear, unless you are a special needs individual, nobody on RAGBRAI should be allowed to use an E-bike, it's already dangerous without them.  If you feel you need one, the ride isn't for you, go ride it somewhere else, except on a trail because motorized vehicles aren't allowed!

* A quintessential RAGBRAI moment happened during a rest stop, when among the 60,000 riders, I asked a random person next to me where they were from.  Turns out we unknowingly grew up about three miles from each other in NW Iowa.  Amazing.

* Did not see any memorable new team names, but I did see a group with jerseys that said  'BILLSTEAM - Ratifying It Since 2017 - Where's Logan?'.  That had to be something, but I don't know what.

RAGBRAI - 2019 Support Vehicle Driver Edition

Last week was the 47th annual bike ride across Iowa, better know as RAGBRAI.  In a rare occurrence, last year I didn't partake in any aspect of the ride.  Did I come out of retirement for the third time to cycle on RAGBRAI this year?

Sort of.

For the first time ever, I drove a support vehicle for others instead of riding the route myself.  While others have done the same for me countless times, this was my first chance to be there with supplies and encouragement for others as they rode a day of the route.

It was a whole different way of seeing the ride / riders.  Here are just a few observations:

* If you're sitting somewhere along the route as it goes by, get ready to wave and talk a lot.  I thought I'd be able to listen to some podcasts, or maybe read a little bit as the riders passed.  However, most of the riders are waving or honking a horn at you as they say hello.  This was true even though I was stationed at the top of a hill, where you'd think out-of-breath riders wouldn't want to say anything.  They were relentless in their desire to exchange pleasantries, and many were happy to stop and talk a while, especially if you asked them about their unique dress, or where they were from.

* Not to overstate it, because most riders were in good shape, but there were a lot more riders than I'd ever noticed before who were obese.  Frankly, they should not have been riding.  I say this with all due respect to them for their attempt, but people have heart attacks every year on the ride, and it's easy to see why.   Maybe I didn't notice them in past years because I was always passing them?

* So many specialized bikes!  Not just tandems, but things like side-by-side cycles, elliptical bikes, and many adapted cycles for disabled riders.  It was a much greater number than I ever realized.  This actually was a reason for the funniest line I heard on the ride, from a rider who was with another person using a hand-powered bike.  At the top of a hill, he said to the clearly paraplegic rider, "Are your legs tired?"

* Getting the the meeting / destination town early, then staying there for a couple of hours, gives one a better idea of how large RAGBRAI is.  The populations swell by thousands in just a short time, the lines for food and beverages grow, and finding shade very quickly comes at a premium.  This is where looking at maps beforehand is so important, to find an optimal meeting spot for those riding.

While it isn't something I'd be interested in doing every year, driving a support vehicle does give one a way to experience the 'party' side of the ride without having to experience the physical aspect.  Plus since I was wearing my cycling clothes, no one knew any different!

RAGBRAI - 2018 Non-Edition

Since 2010, I've made an annual blog entry about what I saw while riding my bicycle on that July's RAGBRAI, a/k/a the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa.  Had I started this blog before August 2009, there would have been many other entries like it; aside from one missed year due to injury, my best guess is I've ridden at least a day on 18 of the last 20 RAGBRAI's.

Make that 18 of the last 21, because I didn't participate this year.

There wasn't anything stopping me -- I still cycle a lot, I had the time, and the ride came through central Iowa, making it fairly easy to jump onto it.  I just didn't have the passion for it this year, and decided not to go.

I told people after the 2015 RAGBRAI that I was retiring from the ride, that I didn't care to do it anymore.  After riding in it another day in 2016, I said the same thing.

Last year, after renouncing retirement for the second time and riding my third career 100 mile day on RAGBRAI, I said it again.  Apparently this time, it took.

I had some FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) worries, but I was glad to say it never bothered me.  The only time I gave it much thought was when I went to a meeting in a town that the ride would later go through.  Watching all of the townsfolk out sprucing things up reminded me about how the red carpet is always laid out for the rolling party of RAGBRAI riders.  That's part of what makes it fun.

Who knows if there will be another RAGBRAI in my future?  Until then, I hope my fellow riders, such as Team Crack-A-Noon and Team Wasted Potential, will be able to carry on without me.

RAGBRAI - 2017 Edition

I came out of my self-imposed retirement from the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI) again this year.  (Last time!?)  In the first two days, it went through both my hometown and my spouse's hometown in NW Iowa, so I had to ride those.  Here are this year's observations:

* While the overnight towns seem to have plenty of portable toilets for the 20,000 or so visiting cyclists, the pass-through (no pun intended) towns didn't have one-tenth the amount they really needed.  I mean, when you have 20,000 extra people in your little town, even if it's only for an hour or two, you should have more than 20 (one-tenth of one percent) portable toilets.  What the hell RAGBRAI, didn't you warn them this year?  Maybe it's a sign of me getting older, but I've never had to rely on cornfields so much before.

* I found a non-profit stand selling pineapple pie!  But they were sold out -- at 8:30 in the morning!  Overall, however, I felt there was more pie available this year than on any RAGBRAI in recent memory.  Full disclosure: I had three slices of apple.

* For the third time in my RAGBRAI journeys, I rode the century (100 mile) loop that was optional this year on day two.  Each time was an accomplishment, but each time came with the same downside: You don't have as much fun on the ride.  Not only do you have an extra 30 miles or so to power through, but there aren't any good vendor or farmyard stops available during that time.  You don't stop as often, and when you do, you don't stop for as long.

* Best stop this year was a dill pickle stand that also happened to have people protesting against NW Iowa congressman and WOITH, Steve King.  I ended up wearing a sticker the rest of the day that said, "Dear America, Sorry About Steve King. Sincerely, Iowa."  Got great comments on it throughout the day, too.

* Demographically speaking, while RAGBRAI clearly has more men on it than women, I thought there were more women than in the past.  Also, there were many, many more overweight riders than I can remember -- no way some of them were riding the entire week, if the entire day.  At the same time, the median age of all riders continues to climb.

* Still not enough service for cell phones!  Getting a data connection was harder than ever, and impossible where cyclists were aggregated.  This is 2017, people, it shouldn't be this difficult.

* Best jersey I saw this year was on the back of a t-shirt:  Beer....the reason I get up every afternoon!

RAGBRAI - 2016 Edition (Belated, With Complaint)

I wasn't going to write about the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI) this year.  I did come out of my self-imposed RAGBRAI retirement to ride one 50+ mile day with my daughter and her friend, but it was a relatively uneventful day, and I didn't think there was enough new things to add to my prior years' summaries.

Since then, I've had a another cycling-related issue come up to complain about, so I figured I'd include everything in one blog post.  Turns out this week was also the second anniversary of my last (and hopefully only) biking crash, so cycling is on my mind.

First, the 2016 RAGBRAI observations:

* I rode on Thursday this year, later than any day in the week I ever had as an adult.  I get the feeling that fewer people actually ride later in the week.  The weather was great, and the day was short, so I think this is a rational explanation for what, from my perspective, was fewer riders.

* Here may be another reason for fewer people:  Proximity of the ride.  The far southern Iowa route doesn't lend itself well to a daily ride of 10,000+ cyclists.  There are fewer towns, ergo fewer people to join the ride for a day, and even fewer roads for the route and its many support vehicles.  Frankly, RAGBRAI should permanently keep the ride north of Interstate 80, and then from time-to-time just send some of the ride proceeds to southern Iowa towns.  Win/win.

* Best sign this year was next to a cornfield late in the day's route, which declared it was the last chance to use the "World's Largest Transgender Bathroom."  (By the way, this is another negative about going through southern Iowa, where it's about 85% pastureland and only 15% cornfields.)

* Worst thing I saw this year was a roadside, trashy-looking acreage with a double-wide trailer and, ugh, a large confederate flag.  Really?!  That was not good optics for RAGBRAI or for Iowa.  It screamed ignorance.  I'd have given almost anything to see a team of riders raid that yard and destroy that flag.

* Still no pineapple pie anywhere.

Now for my complaint.  A lot of effort goes into the 'Ride Right' theme of RAGBRAI and large group cycling, where riders are encouraged to use proper hand signals and call out bike movements and stoppages.  That's great, but some cyclists are taking it too far.  I saw some getting upset at other riders who didn't live up to their "Ride Right' expectations, without factoring in that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of others on RAGBRAI who simply don't ride enough to know the rules.

Worse yet, some cyclists were yelling at drivers of vehicles who they deemed to not be properly sharing the road.  I saw it again this week when I was on a ride, where another cyclist got angry that a car didn't stop for him at an unmarked crosswalk.

C'mon now, you cyclist-douche bags.  I get that too many cyclists are being injured or even killed by careless drivers -- I have to make minor defensive maneuvers virtually every time I go for a ride.  But instead of cursing at the darkness, maybe just worry about continuing to make yourself a great example.  Be an ambassador of good, not evil, and always remember that in a  battle between the vehicle and the bicycle, the vehicle will win 100% of the time.

RAGBRAI - 2015 Edition

This year I was only able to fit in one day of riding on the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI).  Instead of the last year or two, I rode 100 miles in a single day rather than over two days, from Fort Dodge to Eldora.

My 2015 observations:

* We need more bandwidth!  Cell phones worked OK on LTE out in the country, but in the small towns where everybody stopped, there was no data going in or out.  You'd think RAGBRAI and its vendors would find a way to end the data gridlock.

* There was a significant delay on the ride due to two bridges being under construction within a couple of miles of each other.  This is unacceptable to any veteran of the ride.  We know RAGBRAI is supposed to work with the Iowa Department of Transportation to make sure the route doesn't run into this kind of thing.

* It can get a little lonely on the extra 25 mile loop that allowed for this year's optional 100 mile day.  I've done that three times now, and it helps to have someone else with you.  Unlike the regular route, there are few riders and almost no organized places to stop along the road.

* Still hard to find church-stand fruit pie on the ride.  But I did, a fine slice of apple pie.  There were several other varieties, but again saw no pineapple pie this year.

* The usual big corporate food vendors were there (Farm Boys, Mr. Pork Chop, Tom Tenders, Beekman's Ice Cream), but the biggest crowd I saw by far was at the new Iowa Craft Beer Tent.  Rumor is that it drew the largest crowds all week.

* Drones!  Saw drones overhead capturing video of the ride in a few different towns.  It would make for a good chamber of commerce presentation.

* Best jersey seen this year goes to Team Good Beer.  Nothing special about the name, but they had lederhosen-style jerseys, which were awesome.

Read More Dave Barry

I don't read as many books as I should, but when I do, I stick with non-fiction things related to history or finance or humor.  In the latter category, my favorite humorist has always been Dave Barry.  In the 80s and 90s, Barry wrote a hilarious, weekly syndicated column for the Miami Herald, which I always read because it was printed by the Des Moines Register.  At the same time, he authored many humor books that I read, some original and some a collection of his Miami Herald columns or essays.

Unfortunately, Barry dropped off my map in the late 90s when he gave up his weekly column, at which time he continued to write a variety of fictional books.  In the past several years, he's been using social media more, and gone back to writing more non-fiction again.  He's published a new humor book in each of the past two years.

With that as background, I recently took his newer books with me on a trip, and it was just like old times.  It is very, very hard to write in a way that's laugh-out-loud funny, but Barry and his books will do it.  It's impossible to fully describe his observational writing style, but he gets help from his "many alert readers" who send him crazy newspaper stories.  Among his favorite topics are exploding or flaming items (including cows, toilets, Pop-Tarts, and Barbie dolls), and the emotional differences between men and women.

He also has a few common sayings.  For example, when distinguishing fact from hyperbole, Barry frequently asserts, "I am not making this up."  Also, "would be a good name for a rock band" is a statement Barry often applies to certain phrases.  (This reminds me of a softball team I once coached, where the first name had to be a color and the nickname was an action.  Our team drew the name 'Purple Riot' which I immediately said would be a good name for a rock band.)

If you have a chance, and you want a good laugh, read more Dave Barry!

Non-representative Democracy

One of the reasons the United States is the greatest country in the world is our governing system of representative democracy.  Too bad it doesn't always work that way.

When is a representative democracy not a representative democracy?  In Iowa, the answer is when it comes to legalizing medicinal marijuana.

This week, a Des Moines Register Iowa Poll found that 70% of adult Iowans favor the legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes.  This is up from just 59% last year, and 58% the year before that.

It's over.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this issue has been decided, and Iowans are ready to follow the rest of the country into making this rational, albeit long overdue choice.

Unfortunately, Iowa's elected state legislators don't seem to be any closer to legalizing marijuana for medical uses.  Basically, we've elected a bunch of old, white, close-minded, and mostly Republican males (including the governor) who will always believe pot is evil, regardless of its proven therapeutic uses or the desire of their constituents.  They continue to use the intellectually dishonest argument that the 'unintended consequences' of legalization will lead to serious drug abuse in Iowa.  Simultaneously, they attend numerous political receptions where they, along with many others, can legally drink non-medicinal booze without a thought of the 'unintended consequences' of alcohol abuse.

Some Iowans seem to be buying that 'unintended consequences' argument, because the same Iowa Poll reports that only 30% of adults approve legalizing marijuana for recreational use, a number unchanged over the past two years.  We are still years away, or more likely, one big fiscal deficit away, from joining the few other states that have done this.

Oh well.  One thing we know about representative democracy it that it works, it's just a matter of time.  So it will be with legalizing marijuana use in Iowa and in the U.S.

RAGBRAI - 2014 Edition

Just off another two-day jaunt on the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI).  Similar to last year, I rode a little over 100 miles in the two days, this time in northwest Iowa.  My 2014 observations:

* Just because somebody puts up a snow fence and sells beer within the perimeter, it doesn't mean you should call it a beer garden.

* Confirmed:  Northwest Iowa is the flattest part of the state.  Day 1 had maybe one semi-serious hill to climb.

* You could not ask for a better overnight area than Okoboji and the Iowa Great Lakes.  Anyone who went to the main entertainment venue in Arnolds Park saw a nice sunset over West Lake Okoboji, and heard great live music.

* Found no pineapple pie this year!

* A little disappointing to not see some of the cycling 'teams' that made RAGBRAI semi-famous, like Team Whiners or Team Roadkill or Team Killer Bees.  Age must have broken them up, because it's hard to believe I didn't see any of them over those two days.

* It's not the heat, it's the headwinds.

* Best jersey seen this year goes to Old Fart Cycling Team.  Their motto:  "Age & Treachery Will Always Triumph Over Youth & Agility."

The Sound of One Hand Clapping

I was thinking about a blog post to update this one on Iowa's repressed views of medicinal marijuana.  Then the Des Moines Register published the following editorial, which is pretty consistent with my views:

Iowa parents will no longer face prosecution if they purchase a special marijuana extract for their severely epileptic children. Gov. Terry Branstad signed a bill into law, which takes effect July 1, that allows parents to buy a cannabis oil that may lessen seizures. For that, he and the Legislature deserve credit.

“This bill received tremendous support and truly shows the power of people talking to their legislators and to their governor about important issues to them, to their families and to their children,” Branstad said shortly before he signed Senate File 2360.

Parents did work relentlessly the past few months to gain support from lawmakers. And that did make all the difference in swaying elected officials. However, this law is only the first step toward changes Iowa needs to make.

The parents who will be legally allowed to purchase the cannabis oil still face obstacles. They need a recommendation from an Iowa neurologist and will have to travel to other states with less restrictive marijuana laws to obtain the oil. They may face waiting lists.

Also, the change in law benefits only a small group of Iowans with the most organized lobbying efforts. Other sick Iowans should have legal access to marijuana extracts, too. These include people with painful and debilitating conditions like cancer, spinal cord injuries and severe arthritis, who may benefit from the drug. But if these people obtain cannabis oil, they will still be considered criminals in this state.

Benton Mackenzie, for example, has been diagnosed with angiosarcoma, a cancer of the blood vessels. The 48-year-old was growing his own marijuana to make cannabis oil to shrink skin lesions caused by the disease. After the plants were confiscated from his parents’ home in Long Grove last summer, his lesions have grown enormous and his health has deteriorated.

Mackenzie and his wife are both charged with felony drug possession. His 73-year-old parents are charged with hosting a drug house. His son is charged with misdemeanor possession, and his friend is charged in the drug conspiracy. A Scott County district judge recently ruled Mackenzie won’t be able to use his illness as a defense.

“At least the state is now recognizing, with a law, that marijuana has medicinal value,” said Mackenzie.

Yes, but the state has much more work to do on this issue.

Branstad and other mostly Republicans in Iowa want us to applaud how open-minded they were in helping just a few Iowans with the cannabis oil law, in the absolute most minimal way possible.  It's a joke.

To paraphrase the old Zen riddle, they deserve the applause made by the sound of one hand clapping.

Bad Medicine

On March 16th, 2014 I had a letter to the editor published in the Sunday Des Moines Register.  They edited it, so here it is with the edited part in brackets:

So Iowa Governor Branstad opposes legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes (on the vague grounds of 'unintended consequences'), [while our legislative 'leaders' pat themselves on the back simply because they had a 'conversation' about it this year.]  Both government branches claim the issue needs more study.

The reality is, there's nothing else to study.  Twenty other states already allow medicinal marijuana. Dispensing it by prescription isn't rocket science.  Plus, a majority of Iowans want to legalize medicinal marijuana.

Yet, Iowa is no where near the point at which its narrow-minded political leaders are willing to act to reduce the pain and suffering of some of its citizens.

Iowa doesn't need more study-time to legalize medicinal marijuana.  What it needs is its legislative and executive branch to stop assuming marijuana is an evil drug, and start focusing on the good it can do.

See it here.

Getting School-ed Again

This week, the local Community Section of the Des Moines Register reported that my school district, the Johnston School District, ended its most recent fiscal year with a $2.1 million budget deficit.  A huge screw up by administration, right?  Heads are going to roll, right?  I mean.....um.....hold on.....I'm being told in my earpiece that apparently the school board thinks it's.....OK?

Said the school board president, "I think my takeaway would be these (numbers) look OK.  But we wouldn't want them to go any lower.  We'd really like to turn the direction around."

Now you might be thinking, give them a break, there are understandable one-offs now and then.  After all, the article said the shortfall is partly the result of having to pay over $800,000 to implement and purchase textbooks for a new math program.  If you're wondering, there was no word on whether giving everyone an iPad made a difference.

The thing of it is, besides the unanswered question of why that math stuff wasn't already budgeted for in the prior year, this is no one-off.  This is the second time in the last 4 years the school district has exceeded its budget.  And this is the group that's going to be in charge of building a brand new, multi-million dollar high school.

I guarantee that if something like this happened in the for-profit world, there would be VERY serious consequences.  Budgets would be immediately slashed, as would jobs. Who knows, there might even be a going-out-of-business outcome.

But in the not-for-profit, governmental world, backed by the unlimited deep pockets of taxpayers, there is no panic.  According to the article, the soon-to-be retired school superintendent offered no specific action.  The district finance director said that, other than deferring the purchase of new social study textbooks, perhaps next year they'd have to maintain current staffing levels without increases.

Gosh, don't sacrifice too much.

As a taxpayer, I'm on the hook for this spending and mismanagement, but unfortunately, I have no choice nor power to invest my money elsewhere.  Sure, I can vote for new school board members, but the problem is the governmental model, not the people running it.

Unless school districts, or other government entities, face consequences for overspending, it's just going to continue.

RAGBRAI - 2013 Edition

Spent another two days this week on this year's 7-day Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI), entailing slightly more than 100 miles.  This year's observations:

* RAGBRAI needs more portable toilets on the front part of each day's ride.  There are plenty in the overnight towns, and in the daily halfway 'meeting' town.  But in the first 25 or so miles of the day, they can be very sparse, not including cornfields.  I propose they set up an area of 100 or so portable toilets around the 10-15 mile mark. This is where most riders, souped up on breakfast and/or coffee, need the break. Food and retail vendors would even help to pay for the cost, knowing there will be a logjam of riders there (pun very much intended).

* One of the most dangerous things about riding with so many others is actually going uphill.  My second day was very hilly, and so many people are barely pedaling or walking up these hills that you have a relatively unsafe blob of riders together, wobbling on bikes in a small area.  On most occasions, the better riders have to move way over to the left just to keep their cadence going and avoid a crash.

* Three years ago I blogged that there was hardly any pie on the ride anymore.  I'm happy to say there were several places selling a variety of fruit pie (yea for pineapple pie!) on the two days I rode.  One place even had fried pie on a stick - an awesome combination for riders.

* Speaking of food on a stick, one of the best RAGBRAI stops ever had to be the Iowa State Fairgrounds.  Yes, it was too close to the start of the day to get a huge crowd, but if ever there was a perfect venue for these cyclists, it was there.  Lots of food, shade, even indoor restrooms.  As I tweeted that day, the only thing out of place was that the riders were better dressed in their spandex than most usual fair goers!

* Speaking of stops, determining what will be successful is really part art, part science. I think the best strategy is being separate in the country, and together in the town. Vendors on the road who are too close to each other won't get big crowds, nor will places on the the edges of a town that has a centralized vendor area.  Having beer and music isn't enough to draw a good crowd anymore.  Being unique helps, but still, it has to be in the right location.

* My favorite team name was Team Brick.  Slogan: If it was well built, we laid it! And there was a tie for my favorite t-shirt.  One said, "Forecast for tonight: Beer. Low standards. Poor decisions. Beer." The other said, "Does this shirt make me look drunk?"

It was two days of carefree fun.  Is there any other kind?

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

There are many iconic phrases given to us by the novel/movie Forrest Gump, e.g. "Run Forrest, run!" or "Life is like a box of chocolates."  The one that I've been pondering the past few days is, "Stupid is as stupid does."

I've never been quite sure what that phrase means, but I can think of at least one recent instance where it fits perfectly.  That is, in the case of last month's fake 'debate' in the Iowa legislature over medical marijuana.  (Yep, this in another blog post on the topic of pot.  Only the enlightened should continue reading.)

A legislative subcommittee just held a hearing on the topic of medical marijuana, which a new Des Moines Register Iowa Poll revealed is supported by a majority of Iowans.  That didn't stop the old white man who chaired the meeting from starting the hearing by saying, "Doing any bill.....that would legalize marijuana would be one of the stupidest bills that's ever been passed by this organization.  There is no reason to legalize medical marijuana."

Stupid is as stupid does, sir.

Before the hearing, I wonder how many legislators or their family members got their day started by taking an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, or anti-pain medication, or some other kind of mind altering drug?  And after the hearing, I wonder how many legislators went to one of the nightly lobbyist-sponsored receptions and had an alcoholic drink or two?

I'll bet the answer is, "Lots of them."  But please ignore the man behind the curtain, we have an intellectually dishonest argument to make.  Society has determined that legalizing those other mind-altering substances is perfectly fine, even though they may be addictive, routinely abused, and lead to dire consequences for other people.

Stupid is as stupid does, for sure.

So we won't even have a real debate about controlling and legalizing medical marijuana.  We will merrily go along another year in Iowa, not only ignoring the incontrovertible organic health benefits of marijuana for some, but also spending millions on anti-pot enforcement and criminal incarceration for others.  Iowa allows gambling, Iowa allows gay marriage, but somehow the social conservatives here continue to beat back progressives on medical marijuana.

Maybe Forrest Gump's mom can explain this to me, because he also once said, "Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them."

"And that's all I have to say about that."

Be Careful What You Wish For

Assuming I labeled my posts properly, I went the entire calendar year of 2012 without an entry on religion.  Hard to believe, because it isn't as if there weren't religious controversies worth blogging about.

Regardless, that streak is over.  Some news today pushed me over the edge, that being a new proposal from the Obama administration that would allow religious groups to opt-out (sort of) of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) mandatory contraceptive coverage.

Religiously affiliated groups, especially the Catholic Church, have been going nuts over this mandate.  When this topic was at its hottest this past summer, and preachers were crusading against the mandate during church services, an acquaintance of mine had a letter published in the Des Moines Register that complained about those tactics.  After all, she wasn't going to church to hear those white men telling her what she should believe about her reproductive health care.  The next thing you know she was getting letters from strangers, telling her how wrong she was to feel that way.

Here's the problem with all of this.  The outrage of those religious leaders and their followers over the contraceptive coverage mandate, while somewhat understandable, would have a lot more credibility it it weren't for at least two really big things:

1) Religiously affiliated groups, and here again especially the Catholic Church, completely supported the passage of Obamacare.  I'm sure much of that support was at least indirectly financial, via PAC contributions.  Then once the rules were written, and they realized the rules apply to them, snap! they suddenly wanted to be excepted from a major part of Obamacare.

2) It's laughable to see the outrage of so-called religious leaders over this issue, when it is a fact that many of the organizations they oversee have been including contraceptive coverage in their health care plans for many years.  Apparently, they think all of the young female teachers in their schools are using abstinence as their birth control method.  Classic old white men group-think.

Who knows if this new 'opt-out' rule will pacify the mandate-haters.  It probably won't.  But that has more to do with the out-of-touch religious hierarchy, and its culture of thinking they can and should govern themselves.  (Ask any former church pedophile victim how well they think that self-governance thing has worked out.)

Iowa Fund of Dummies

Over the past month, another taxpayer boondoggle in has been made public in Iowa.  It involves a state-created source of seed capital for companies interested in doing business in Iowa.

Called the Iowa Fund of Funds, it really just invests in other venture capital funds, using state tax credits to back its commitments.  However, there is no requirement for those funds to actually invest in companies doing business in Iowa.  (Huh?!)

Regardless, it's done a horrible job of getting any return on investment.  So horrible, in fact, the state had to negotiate a settlement that resulted in the loss of $26 million in tax credits.

I happen to personally know the chair of the board that manages the Iowa Fund of Funds.  He's a blowhard who has never worked in the private sector, and who loves to spend other people's money.  That board had a lengthy piece published in the Des Moines Register the other day, defending their actions.   I couldn't let it go, so I sent a letter to the editor about it.  Sadly, it wasn't published, but here it is:

In defending the Iowa Fund of Funds' current $26 million loss of tax credits (Read: taxpayer money) in his December 28th Iowa View article, administrative board member Tim Urban notes, "Since we began, our board of directors has never received one dime of compensation, taken no junkets at Fund of Funds expense and volunteered thousands of hours directing the Iowa Fund of Funds." So you see, fellow Iowa taxpayers, we're simply getting what we paid for - minus another $26 million.

Dancing Like A Dad

What follows is the text of a September 27th article written for The Des Moines Register (specifically for its young professional supplement, Juice) by Mike Draper, the fairly well-known owner of the Des Moines t-shirt store, Raygun.  (I would link to it, but their web site only allows so many non-subscription visits.)  This should be required reading for every Iowan, and maybe everybody else:

Governor Terry Branstad would be a lot more likeable if he just never opened his mouth. Whenever he starts to give his opinion, I feel like a high schooler whose dad has decided to show off his dance moves in front of you and all your friends.

Most of his infractions have been pretty minor. There was his declaration this past May that companies “want to get out of California as quick as they can. We welcome them to Iowa.” Unfortunately, the shirts we’ve been saving for Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page have been gathering dust in our store since spring.

That was just after he called for a congressional investigation into the “pink slime smear campaign” as well as state laws against filming inside food factories. The last thing we want people to know is what they’re eating.

All TB has done, though, pales in comparison to his wall-to-wall B.S. editorial in The Des Moines Register earlier this month: “Obama has worn out his welcome.” It reads like something the Republican National Committee jotted down on a couple cocktail napkins, then attached our governor’s name. But if Branstad actually did write it (and more frightening, believes it), this isn’t your uncoordinated dad just dancing for all your friends, this is your dad stepping onto the “American Idol” stage.

“In Iowa,” Terry writes, “we know a thing or two about building success with our own two hands. ... We don’t look at our farms or our factories or our businesses and say, ‘Look what the government built.’ ”

Good god. He writes this from the center of a state that is up to its hog-nuts in federally subsidized agriculture, federally subsidized ethanol, and federally subsidized wind energy. He writes this within days of giving the largest economic subsidy in Iowa history to a foreign fertilizer production company. He writes this from a state whose governor declared he’d create 200,000 jobs (how a governor would do this without “picking winners or losers” needs to be explained to me). He writes this from a state whose commemorative quarter depicts a public school building painted by our most famous artist, Grant Wood, whose livelihood during the Depression was sustained by the Federal Art Project.

As a business owner who has never used a federally backed loan, who has never had a government contract, who has never really had any direct aid to speak of, I’d be in a good spot to claim that “I built it” if I wanted to sound like more of an a-hole than I already am. But I still can’t. After all, I was born into a stable home, in a stable state, educated K-12 in a public community school, graduated from college debt-free because of my parents, and opened a business in a building that was constructed with the help of Tax Increment Financing.

From direct help like the mortgage interest deduction to peripheral help like roads, everyone in America has taken some form of government assistance. Everyone wants government assistance cut, but not their government assistance. I can forgive 24-hour news commentators for making brash, incorrect declarations, because their news model is built on B.S. But I worry when our elected officials start to sound like our 24-hour news commentators.

At least Barack Obama is in luck: Branstad declares that he’s “not resting until Mitt Romney gets the votes to send him to the White House.” If his promise for Mitt gets as far as his promise to not pick winners and losers, Obama is in great shape.

This Year On RAGBRAI (2012)

Cycled the first leg of the 40th Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa this week.  It went through my hometown as well as a few other towns I spent a lot of time in growing up, so there was extra interest for me.  Here are this year's comments, to extend what I wrote in 2011 and 2010 :

* In the past, I've always ridden in the middle or front-half of the ride, meaning an equal amount of riders were behind me and in front of me.  I've always wondered if I was missing something wild by doing that.  After all, the old saying is that RAGBRAI is like a mullet - business in the front, party in the back!

This year it so happened that I stayed well to the back of the ride, and it turns out you miss MORE that way.  Some of the roadside stands that looked like fun places to stop were getting ready to shut down, and the riders weren't that much fun to talk with, because they were all just trying to survive the heat/ride. (That's one reason they were in the back.)  You want to be around as many people as possible during the ride and every stop within the ride, that's the best way to enjoy it.

* A couple of new team names that caught my eye were take-offs of the LiveStrong organization.  They were BeerStrong, and LiverStrong.  I'm not sure it's good form to use the name of a cancer-fighting organization to promote heavy drinking.

* A lot of folks talk about drinking alcohol on RAGBRAI.  A lot of folks actually do it.  But I think more folks talk about it than do it, especially on the hottest day in Iowa since 1988.  The most overheard, overused phrase on RAGBRAI is, "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning."  Most of them mean water.

* Ratio of fit, 20-something girls to overweight, 50+ year old men on the ride:  1-to-100.

RAGBRAI XL.  A little bit different than the RAGBRAI III I rode on in 1975.

The Taxpayer Warrior Strikes Again

On July 2nd, The Des Moines Register smartly published another letter to the editor I sent them.  It went like this:

So Polk County supervisors are going to start paying part of their health insurance for the first time ever, effective July 1? It sounds like a great victory for taxpayers – until you consider it’s expected to save less than $3,000 annually.

In fact, those affected will only being paying between $15 and $25 per month for insurance premiums. While that’s more than zero, it’s hundreds of dollars less per month than most private sector employees pay.

Regardless, Supervisors Chairwoman Angela Connolly crowed, “We all have to pay our fair share in terms of insurance costs.” This is just another example of how far out of touch elected officials are with their constituents, and with the economy.

This took me all of 15 minutes to write and email to them, but I can confirm that I got a lot more than 15 minutes of enjoyment out of embarrassing a bunch of wasteful politicians!

Taxpayer Funded iPads For Everyone - Update

The good news is, my Des Moines Register letter to the editor on this topic was published today.  The bad news is, they published it in the local 'Community' section of the paper rather than the statewide edition.  So instead of thousands reading it, only hundreds will.

Oh well, as long as it exposes the Johnston Community School District as out of touch with the taxpayer, like most governmental / nonprofit entities, it isn't all bad.