2015

As with last year, let's review the things I said I'd like to see in 2014, with my new notes in ALL CAPS:

-The (continued) fall of the so-called Tea Party conservatives.
(NOT REALLY.  GIVEN THE OUTCOME OF THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS, THEY'VE AT LEAST HELD AND MAYBE GAINED STRENGTH.)

-Less Kanye / Less Miley.
(NO FOR KANYE, YES FOR MILEY.)

-Apple TV.
(NOPE, BUT WE GOT APPLE PAY AND WE'RE GETTING THE APPLE WATCH.)

-NCAA basketball Sweet 16 trips for either Iowa and Iowa State.
(NO FOR IOWA, YES FOR IOWA STATE.)

-Better football from the Cyclones and Vikings - the bar is incredibly low.
(NO FOR THE CYCLONES, YES - BARELY - FOR THE VIKINGS.)

-Warmer Spring weather, at least where it doesn't snow again in May.
(IT WAS DEFINITELY BETTER.)

-More legalization of marijuana beyond what's happening in Colorado on 1/1/2014.
(YES, SORT OF.  THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PASSED A VOTE TO LEGALIZE IT.  BUT STATES LIKE IOWA STILL CAN'T BRING THEMSELVES TO EVEN LEGALIZE MEDICINAL USE.)

-A la carte cable TV channels.  It's only a matter of time before cable providers will have to do this to compete with computer streaming.  Why not in 2014?
(NO AGAIN, ALTHOUGH COMPANIES LIKE NETFLIX AND AMAZON PRIME ARE INCHING US CLOSER TO IT.)

For 2015 I'd like to see:

Less glorification of big butts.

A Final Four for Iowa State men's basketball, and an NCAA tournament berth for both Iowa and Northern Iowa men's basketball.

More action, less inaction by the U.S. Congress.

Stephen Colbert dominating late night television, with Conan and Fallon and Stewart right behind.

Common use of Apple Pay.

Might as well go for it again -- at least medicinal marijuana legalization in Iowa.

A vaccine against Ebola.

A week-long vacation for me.

Yes Means Yes

When our kids were little, and said 'yes' to something we asked, we usually threw in a reminder that 'yes' meant something.  Specifically, it meant a promise, and a person doesn't break a promise.

Unfortunately, some people don't live up to this verbal contract / moral obligation.  Even more unfortunately for me, when this happens in my line of work, that results in a monetary loss.

I'm a fee-only financial planner.  When I first meet with prospective clients, it's typically a fact-finding mission coupled with a trust-building conversation.  I'm asking them what they need, and they're asking me what I do,

Occasionally, this Q & A evolves into the prospect asking a number of specific questions about their situation, basically poking around for free advice.  I have no problem with that, but before it goes far I ask them for a commitment.  This is where it gets real.

Every so often, I'll get the 'yes' from the prospect, and we'll go on to have lengthy conversations about their situation.  Often, I'll put together a more formal presentation, at no cost to them.  Of course, this does cost me, but at this point, I'm relying on the 'yes' that a will eventually be collecting a fee from them.

In the past month, two of these 'yes' folks have called me after I'd done this work, and told me that they were going to work with someone else.  As you might expect, they suddenly disclosed they have a friend or family member who does this kind of work.

So basically, they lied to me to get something they wanted.  Ironically, they had both previously disclosed to me something that suggested they were faith-based.  When people do that in a voluntary manner, any discomfort I may have is overshadowed by the comfort I have in thinking their word will be their bond.

I'm glad to say, these situations happen infrequently -- I can only think of one other time in the past couple of years.  That's good, because working for free isn't something I want to do.

Those who say 'yes' when they have no actual intent to commit are intellectually dishonest, at the least.  At the most, they are freeloading liars with no moral compass.

Even my children know that.

Do You Hear What I Hear (I Hope Not)

It's Christmas time, and as much as I'd like to vent again about the lack of understanding and effort when it comes to Christmas cards, this year I want to say something about Christmas songs.

Generally speaking, I don't have a problem with Christmas songs on the radio or in stores.  Sure, they start too early in the year, but it gets you into the spirit, I can appreciate that.

But why do I keep hearing so many old songs that are sung by long-ago-dead people?

For example, if I hear another Karen Carpenter rendition of Home For The Holidays I'm going to puke.  Same goes for anything by Burl Ives.

In fact, this goes for any artist who's been dead for over 25 years, with the possible exception of Nat King Cole singing The Christmas Song.  I don't think anybody can perform that song any better.  (A quick reminder: Tony Bennett isn't dead yet, so anything by him is also OK.)

To put it another way, I don't really want to hear traditional Christmas songs that were recorded 30 or 40 years ago.  There are plenty of songs that have been recorded by contemporary artists, assisted by the best instrumentation / sound that today's digital recording technology can bring us.

In conclusion, if I'm listening to Christmas music, I want to hear traditional Christmas songs by contemporary recording artists (with Nat King Cole occasionally sprinkled in), and rotate those singers out once they kick the bucket.

Otherwise, make it a Silent Night.

White Privilege

The events of the past two weeks -- where grand juries refused to indict on-duty white police officers in Ferguson, MO and Staten Island, NY who controversially killed black men, and the sometimes riotous protests that followed -- have re-confirmed some things that too many Americans still don't understand after all these years:

1) White privilege exists.  No matter how you slice it, if you factor out race, there would have at least been indictments in these cases.  The NY case is absolutely crazy, considering the irrefutable video evidence of what happened, and secrecy of the grand jury.  Ask yourself who's more likely to be stopped for speeding -- is it a dumb white guy in a minority neighborhood, or an intelligent minority in a white neighborhood?

2) Wealth privilege exists.  This is more recognized by society, but regardless, you can replace the word 'race' in the paragraph above with 'socioeconomic background' and it still works.  If the victims were white but poor, nothing changes.

3) Property destruction / rioting in the wake of the non-indictments is terribly foolish, adds to people's lack of understanding of white privilege.  People see this disproportionate and wrongful reaction, and get angry about that instead of the underlying problem -- that minorities poor don't believe they are treated fairly by law enforcement, nor by the judicial system.

4) Criminal actions have consequences.  The punishment (death) doesn't comes close to matching the crime, but both of the victims were or had been doing something illegal.  They drew attention to themselves, then resisted arrest.  They didn't get what they deserved, which at least in the NY case also appeared to be criminal, but they got what they got.

5) There's still a lot of latent racism in America.  If you haven't noticed this during the Obama presidency, then you probably won't notice it now, but let's be real -- how many white people do you know who are openly critical of the rioting in the MO case, but don't know any of the facts surrounding the case?  And aren't those same people also being a little quiet about the NY case?

I rest my case.

Again Not Thankful

Here's the 6th annual edition of my Thanksgiving-time list of things for which I am not thankful. You can get to the trail of prior lists here or by using the label Thanksgiving.

As with prior years, this list is in no particular order:

Both a) rioters who disguise themselves as protesters, and b) white privilege.

'Follow the leader' gutless politicians.

Complicated wireless phone plans, and those entities which provide them.

Extreme winter weather in November.  (Basically, a repeat of 2013)

Enabling helicopter parents.

States like Iowa that can't even muster a conversation about medical marijuana legalization, while other states are already legalizing marijuana for recreational usage.

Those who proudly display their debt.

Really big butts, and the pop culture that currently glorifies them.

Social media trolls.

People who want you to think they care, but who really just want your attention.  (This would include anyone who did the ALS ice bucket challenge this year without actually donating money.)

Golf 24/7

An historic event (or is it a historic event?) in my life occurred this week.  After many years of abstinence, I allowed myself to indulge in a long-waited, premium desire.

I got the Golf Channel.

A little background here:  I have cable, bundled with internet service.  I could do that with satellite TV, but I’m happy with the broadband internet speed I have, and that’s keeping me tethered to cable TV for now.

However, our cable provider, Mediacom, sucks when it comes to its basic cable TV channel lineup.  This is true for a lot of cable companies, still fighting against the a la carte model that internet TV inevitably will provide.  Still, I’ve been to plenty of other places that have different cable providers, and Mediacom’s basic cable channels are not robust by comparison.

This means that the basic cable service I’ve had for years is missing ‘premium’ channels that other providers consider basic.  This includes Golf Channel, ESPNU, and a few others.  (One of the others is Fox Business News, a/k/a the 1% Channel.  It’s beyond strange how this is considered a premium channel, while CNBC isn’t.)

Cheap bastard that I am, I’ve never paid the extra dough for home access to those so-called premium channels.  That ended this week with the effort of one phone call, in which I agreed to pay another $100 a year ($8 per month) for a premium sports and information package.

Ironically, I did this primarily for the ESPNU channel, because I don’t want to miss another bunch of good college basketball games this winter.  And I did it secondarily for The NFL Network, so I don’t miss those games this winter, either.

But the long-term crown jewel for me will be the Golf Channel.  A new ‘go-to’ for when there’s nothing else good to watch.  It’s already paying for itself with end-to-end coverage of the Australia Masters and next week’s Australian Open – two events I couldn’t have cared less about a few days ago!

Fore!

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roule'

I visited New Orleans for a family wedding last week.  Hadn't been there before; I almost did nine years ago for a conference, but that was ruined by Hurricane Katrina, and I never came close since.

When I asked others who had been to NOLA about what they thought of it, the one consistent reply was that it was kind of a dirty place.  All they seemed to recall was the heat and grime and smell of Bourbon Street.

I didn't think it was inordinately dirty or smelly.  I would tell you it's a lot better than that.  Some observations:

* Generally speaking, the French Quarter area is an eclectic place, as the inhabitants blend in with the tourists and street performers around Jackson Square.  The weekend day I was there, the Gumbo Festival was in full swing at a nearby park, and the local food and jazz music were flowing.

* Bourbon Street went from nearly deserted in the morning, to wall-to-wall people at night.  While the crowd was rowdy, it was also friendly, with booze and food and live music everywhere.  And it was fun to be a small part of the bead throwing.  (Just ask -- you don't have to do more, at least not on the Saturday night I was there.)

* The Garden District, with its old, large, and (some) celebrity homes, is unique to see.  Also, not interesting enough to go back another time, unless Sandra Bullock or Archie Manning happen to be out in their front yards.

* Yes, the cemeteries have the dead buried above ground.  So there's that.

* This one doesn't apply to most visitors, but hands down, the best part for me was being part of a "Second Line" wedding parade.  From beautiful St. Louis Cathedral, we walked several blocks through the French Quarter to the hotel reception, the streets often lined two-or-three deep with tourists taking pictures/videos of us waving white cloths behind a brass band.  It was the coolest thing I've been a part of in a long time.

Overall, The Big Easy exceeded my expectations.

Food = Life

Went to my favorite local restaurant the other night.  It's basically my favorite because I can get my favorite unique meal there.  Of course, not everyone would agree with my assessment; virtually everyone else would have different opinions of their favorite restaurant/meal.

It's with this in mind that I write about how silly it is for too many people to agree how good a certain food /restaurant is.

We've got plenty of places in town that have a specialty appetizer, or entree, or dessert.  And if you asked almost anyone, they'll tell you how great it is.  But is it really?  Or is it just that the herd mentality applies to the food service business?**

The answer most of the time is, it's the herd mentality.

Look people, something isn't good because others say it's good.  If you think something is 'the best', there's an equally good chance someone else won't.  Plus, trends change over time.

My point is, food is the same as life.  Alright, not really my point.  The point is, decide for yourself.

**That paragraph ended in the 'Conjunction Trifecta" -- starting consecutive sentences with 'and' 'but' & 'or'!

Best Song Lyrics (Part XVI)

Last week I noticed the Songwriters Hall of Fame announced its new inductees.  Along with the songwriter I wrote about way back in Part V of this anthology (Yusaf Islam, formerly known as Cat Stevens) was the name Tom Petty.

Awesome.

Tom Petty led his band The Heartbreakers onto the rock scene in the late 1970s with a distinctive sound and cool, easygoing lyrics.  Some of the best known songs included The Waiting, Free Fallin’ and , You Don't Know How It Feels (To Be Me).

All of those songs are lyrically terrific, but I'm going with Learning To Fly as my example.  While there is certainly a drug double-meaning, Petty himself said it was really about failing and trying and failing and trying again.  I highly recommend listening to it in its slower, acoustic form:

Well I started out, down a dirty road
Started out, all alone
And the sun went down, as I crossed the hill
And the town lit up, the world got still

I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down, is the hardest thing

Well, the good ol' days, may not return
And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn

I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down, is the hardest thing

Well, some say life, will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out, for God-knows-where
I guess I'll know, when I get there

I'm learning to fly, around the clouds
But what goes up, must come down
I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down, is the hardest thing

Don't Buy The Fake

Society doesn't accept emotionally fake people, right?  People who mislead in order to make themselves look better are eventually exposed, then ostracized by others.

It's the same for intellectually dishonest people.  If someone lies about the facts in order to make themselves look better, society is usually quite efficient at discovery and excommunication.

Then why are we so willing to accept physically fake people?  Those folks are also doing something to make themselves look better, yet others often encourage them to repeat that behavior.

From plastic surgery to artificial hair to indoor tanning, people have plenty of ways to pull off the physical-fake.  Unless it's taken to the extreme, we accept that it's better to look good (and younger) than to feel good.

I suppose faking the physical self isn't harming others, so we let it go.  But is it really harmless?

I'm not so sure if obscuring the physical-you is any better than obscuring the emotional-you or intellectual-you.  I don't buy that faking it should be allowed in anything.  (Yes, even that.)

In matters of integrity and trust, I'd rather deal with someone being honest in all three.

Charlie

I've written on several occasions about the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting.  Most associate it with Warren Buffett, but it also stars his vice-chairman, Charlie Munger.  Both are very smart and witty, but Munger has a slightly more acerbic style.

Last week someone forwarded an article to me with 29 of Munger's most interesting quotes.  They are the kind of things he says at the Berky meeting all of the time.  The guy is awesome.  I'm just going to throw out a few of best ones (in my opinion), and this is just a short sample:

"The right way to make decisions in practical life is based on your opportunity cost. When you get married, you have to choose the best [spouse] you can find that will have you. The rest of life is the same damn way."

"What do you want to avoid? Such an easy answer: sloth and unreliability. If you’re unreliable it doesn’t matter what your virtues are. You're going to crater immediately. Doing what you have faithfully engaged to do should be an automatic part of your conduct. You want to avoid sloth and unreliability."

"Some people are extraordinarily good at knowing the limits of their knowledge, because they have to be. Think of somebody who’s been a professional tightrope walker for 20 years – and has survived. He couldn’t survive as a tightrope walker for 20 years unless he knows exactly what he knows and what he doesn’t know.  He’s worked so hard at it, because he knows if he gets it wrong he won’t survive. The survivors know. ... Knowing what you don’t know is more useful than being brilliant."

"Another thing that does one in, of course, is the self-serving bias to which we’re all subject. You think the 'True Little Me' is entitled to do what it wants to do. And, for instance, why shouldn’t the True Little Me overspend my income. There once was a man who became the most famous composer in the world but was utterly miserable most of the time, and one of the reasons was because he always overspent his income. That was Mozart. If Mozart can’t get by with this kind of asinine conduct, I don’t think you should try."

"The highest form that civilization can reach is a seamless web of deserved trust — not much procedure, just totally reliable people correctly trusting one another. ... In your own life what you want is a seamless web of deserved trust. And if your proposed marriage contract has forty-seven pages, I suggest you not enter."

"Wisdom acquisition is a moral duty. It’s not something you do just to advance in life. Wisdom acquisition is a moral duty. As a corollary to that proposition which is very important, it means that you are hooked for lifetime learning. And without lifetime learning, you people are not going to do very well. You are not going to get very far in life based on what you already know."

Iowa Election Handicapping 2014

We've got an open (non-incumbent) U.S. congressperson election going on in central Iowa, as well as an open U.S. senatorial seat and a gubernatorial race.  Time to opine on the candidates.

Congress:  Staci Appel (D) vs David Young (R)
When 'friend of John Boehner' and incumbent Tom Latham (R) unexpectedly retired to open this district seat, the major political parties were obviously unprepared.  How else do you explain these two poor candidates?  Appel is an uninspiring former state senator with an image problem, and Young is a boring, no-name protege of Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley.  Good lord, is it too late for me to start a write-in campaign?  I think Young wins this, because voters will prefer a boring nobody with some national political experience over a boring nobody with no such experience.

Senate:  Bruce Braley (D) vs Joni Ernst (R)
This race reminds me a lot of eight years ago, when then-Congressman Jim Nussle ran against state politician Chet Culver for governor of Iowa.  It should have been no contest -- Culver was a buffoon.  But the anti-Republican fervor was too much that year (George W. Bush was mismanaging Iraq and Afghanistan) and Nussle didn't try hard enough.  Culver won, and proved his buffoonery by being Iowa's worst-ever governor.  Here, Braley = Nussle, Ernst = Culver, and Obama = Bush.  Braley is the better candidate, but it isn't looking so good for him right now.  He needs to hope that Ernst -- a National Guard member but also someone who clearly isn't the sharpest tool in the shed -- makes another mistake to sway independents, like reminding people that Sarah Palin endorsed her.

Governor:  Jack Hatch (D) vs Terry Branstad (R)
Multi-decade governor and certified grumpy old man Branstad will win this easily.  Make no mistake, it won't be because he's so beloved, it'll be because Iowans would rather dance with the devil they know than with the devil they don't know.  Hatch isn't well-known outside of Des Moines, and frankly, he isn't that well known inside of Des Moines if you aren't a real estate developer.  I might vote for Hatch just as a silent protest to Branstad's stance on medicinal marijuana.

Crash And Recovery

Two weeks ago, after nearly twenty years and approximately 30,000 over-the-road miles, I had a moderately serious crash on my bicycle.

I fell to the pavement at between 15-20 mph, and ended up with a variety of scrapes and bruises and even a few gash-closing stitches.  It could have been much worse, had I not been wearing a helmet and/or had there been vehicle traffic near me.

Last week, although I wanted to get right back on my bike, I had to stay off while I recuperated from my injuries.  I spent some of that down time thinking about all of the ways I might have avoided the crash.

After a few days, I started to wonder just a little bit too much about it would feel the next time I went cycling.

This week, I got back on my bike,  On the first ride, never did I grip the handlebars more firmly, or pay more attention to my surroundings, for such a long period of time on a ride.  It got better the next time out, and the next time, but it's going to be a while before I'm back to being totally relaxed in the saddle.

Twenty years of confident bike-handling, and now all of this caution.  It's true what they say -- once you fall off a horse, the best thing to do is get right back on it -- if you can.

Abusing Money

This week the NFL is in the midst of a full-blown scandal over its handling of the domestic violence charges against one of its star players.  Among the side issues is why the victim, engaged at the time, still married her assailant.  She is in fact still married to him, and supporting him.

My initial reaction was probably ignorant; I felt like money was the motivating factor.  This NFL player was making millions of dollars a year, why else would you stay?

However, a more holistic view of this revealed that it's not unusual for victims of abuse to handle things this way.  For a variety of reasons, many people in an abusive relationship will stay with their abuser.  The nation learned that in cases of domestic violence, we should not judge the victim.

Look, I don't know why she stayed with him.  Maybe she grew up in an abusive household and this seemed normal to her.  Maybe she was scared of him.  Maybe her family pressured her.  Maybe she wanted to keep her family together, since she already has a 2-year old child with the man.  Like I said, I don't know.

But there's a more than zero percent chance that maybe, just maybe, she stayed (stays) with him because he's a multi-millionaire, and by marrying him, she'll never have to work another day in her life.  Ignoring the role that money may have played in her decision is unreasonable.  Might it also have made her family encourage her to forgive and forget?

However, it's so politically incorrect for anyone right now to suggest that money was a factor, I haven't seen anyone even mention it.  Heck, I probably wouldn't mention it if I made my living off of writing or broadcasting about it, because you'd be suspended or fired.

That said, it's not insensitive to bring it up the role that money plays IN ANYTHING.  Money changes people.  Money makes people do dumb things, like making men think they can smack around their girlfriends.  And yes, money can be a reason some of those girlfriends stay.

It doesn't make it right -- actually, it makes it more wrong.  But let's at least agree that in this situation (obviously it isn't true in most domestic abuse), we can at least mention the money factor, for those of us not afraid of being judgmental.

A Working Model

In the investment business, there are three basic models that firms utilize to deliver investments and/or advice to their clients.  They don't all work well for investors.

Let's start with the commission model.  In this model, the advisor (known as a 'Registered Representative' of a 'broker-dealer' firm), is compensated for the investments that are utilized.  Many securities, including virtually all annuities and life insurance, are sold this way.  Those commissions pay the advisor an up-front, often substantial amount, which the investor ultimately repays directly or indirectly via account deductions.

Another model is called fee-based, and it's essentially the commission model with a twist.  That is, these advisors usually have licenses which also allow them to give advice for a fee, in addition to their Registered Representative licenses. These dual-licensed advisors are called fee-based, because they can provide investment advice for a fee, but they primarily continue to utilize commission-based compensation for making a sale.

The third model is the fee-only model. Practitioners of this model are licensed as Investment Advisor Representatives (IAR) of a Registered Investment Advisor (RIA).  Many of them also have attained the Certified Financial Planner® professional designation.  The term 'fee-only' acknowledges that they are only compensated by the transparent, negotiated fees (not unspecified commissions) their clients pay.

Unfortunately, most advisors aren't fee-only, even though that model makes the most sense for those seeking help.  Consider the possible conflict of interest when a commission-based advisor sells an investment product -- can the investor truly know if the size of the commission impacted the sale?  By not receiving commissions for the investments recommended, a fee-only advisor eliminates this uncertainty.

Also, since commissions are paid up-front, what is that advisor’s incentive to provide ongoing client-service?  Fee-only advisors charge a flat amount, or a percentage based on the assets they manage -- but in either case, it isn't paid until AFTER the work is done.  Since this fee is only a fraction of the commissions that would otherwise be paid, the fee-only advisor must continue to work diligently, as the client can end the relationship at any point.

I am a fee-only advisor.  I remove the conflicts of interest that could otherwise exist between investors and advisors, because our interests are the same.  That shared interest shapes how we interact, to create and maintain the trust needed to successfully work together.

A Less Friendly Facebook

The other day I took one of the biggest risk anyone can take these days -- I posted a critical minority view of something to Facebook.

At the personal level, Facebook is not meant for people to disagree with each other.  (It's not the same for celebrity or corporate Facebook accounts, which practically invite strangers to troll.)  Facebook is all about inviting friends, which for the most part leads to everybody mindlessly 'liking' every friend's status update.  It's a fact that this usually is done by females to females, not only because they dominate Facebook, but because that's what female friends do.

The only exception I can recall to this universal 'like' business was during the 2012 presidential campaign, when obvious political differences came to the surface.  Even then, however, the disagreements were docile.

In my specific case, I posted an third-party blog entry that was somewhat critical of this summer's e so-called ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.  (If you're reading this in a different year, I'm sure the Google or Facebook archives will tell you all about it.)  In short, the article called the challenge a form of 'slacktivism' where some people made it seem like they were helping a charitable cause, when in fact they were doing nothing.

Essentially, I was calling out everyone who was cluttering up social media with videos of people having water dumped on their heads, which was akin to jumping into a lake because someone else told them to do it -- and then calling it fun.  My comment was an 'the emperor has no clothes' kind of thing.

The outcome was underwhelming.  I did get agreements from a few folks, who were relieved to know somebody else thought like they did, but no real push back.  Ironically, it may be that there are now so many ice bucket videos in the feed that not that many noticed my post!

Regardless, it was a little disappointing.  I would like Facebook, actually all social media, to be more intellectually stimulating.  I get tired of seeing pictures of other friend's children, or pets, or food.  How about a little more hard information and opinion-sharing?

Maybe I just need more friends.

On Turning 50

I turned a half-century old this week.  Just a few quick thoughts about it so far:

* You know how the build-up to Christmas Day is often more spirited than Christmas Day itself?  That’s how turning 50 was for me.  The actual day was a little bit boring, at least in comparison to the build-up.  That may have been due in part to the day falling on a Monday.

* I feel like I suddenly have society’s permission to lower the bar in how I live life.  If I want to exercise less, if I want to take more time off, if I want to be less social, etc., age 50 means I can do all of those things without being as harshly judged.  That said, I have no intention of doing any of those things yet.

* Mentally, I still feel much younger than 50.  (Physically, not so much, but mentally I do.)  Plus, I hang out with a lot of people who are a few years older than me, which makes me feel even younger.  I’m not sure age and attitude are correlated, but if they are, I’m in good shape.

* AARP discounts.  A choice to play from the senior tees.  These aren't bad things.

Why Some People Hate America (Secular Version)

Last weekend, I was in a large grocery store picking up a couple of items.  This store had its own public cafeteria area, and a worker was just removing leftover food from a breakfast buffet it had set out.

I stood and watched as she took a tray filled with more than a dozen doughnuts from the buffet, brought them behind the counter, and scraped them into the garbage.  I didn't hang around, but there's little doubt this same garbage can would become the final resting place for all of the other leftover buffet food.

Multiply the leftovers from this small buffet by the thousands of others across America, over thousands of days, and I'm guessing you'd have enough to feed a small impoverished country for an entire meal.  Add in every other food item that restaurants toss daily, and maybe it's enough to feed that country for an entire day.

This is what we routinely throw into the garbage in America.  Yet, even some of America's own citizens go hungry.

I get it, it isn't the store's fault.  We have rules about food disposal and safety in our country.  The problem is, those rules aren't entirely written for the protection of the consumer; they're also written for the protection of the merchant, to avoid a lawsuit.  In other words, we throw away food to protect us from ourselves.

I also get that it's a distribution problem.  There's so reasonable way to transport perishable food thousands of miles.  But is it so hard to think it couldn't be put to some better use locally?

For full disclosure, I have to consider my own contribution to American food wastefulness last weekend.  I stopped at a convenience store on a road trip, where you could get 'any size' fountain drink up to 52-ounces for a dollar.  So of course, I got the 52-ouncer.  Why get only 20-ounces when you could get more than twice that for the same price and just throw away what you don't want?  And sadly, that's what I did.

I've been thinking more about American excess in general lately, ever since a trip to Las Vegas.  There, it isn't just food and beverages -- it's excess in every way, from the gambling all the way up to the imported Italian marble floor tiles.

We know that some people hate America based upon their own warped religious beliefs.  They are crazy idiots.  If there's anything to hate on us for, it would be our lack of humility in how much we waste.

Terrorists > VEISHEA, Part Two

ISU President Stephen Leath announced in a press conference August 7, 2014 that VEISHEA will be discontinued and the name will be retired.

"I'm not going to continue to put students at risk so we can observe what to many has become a week-long party," he said.

Leath, you are a politically-correct puppet for a few Republican cronies on the Iowa Board of Regents, and everything I said about you last Spring is as true now as it was then.  Only a close-minded fool thinks they have the means to control what they have no power over, such as the off-campus antics of mostly non-students.

Jerk.

Raking Up In Vegas

Spent another few days in Las Vegas recently, and when I say 'spent' I'm talking about money.

Not money from gambling losses -- that was no issue.  It's spent on the other mainstays of Vegas:  Eating.  Drinking.  Hotels.  Shows.  Tips.  It's become a sneaky expensive place to visit, at least for those who don't visit enough to get food and lodging comps.

I wrote some about this three years ago.  The Strip has become a place where it's very hard to find a reasonably priced meal, or beverage, or an under $15 minimum table game.  I didn't go downtown on this trip, where I know it's still less expensive.  But I don't go there to spend a lot of time in the downtown area, I want to be on the strip, where there are more things to see and do.

The reason it's so expensive is as basic as supply and demand.  There are currently a lot of people in this world with a lot of disposable income (or trust funds), and they're willing to spend it in the playground that is Vegas.

You've heard the economy is sluggish?  Don't tell Vegas.  I was there on a non-weekend, but the hotels and bars and pools and restaurants all seemed very busy to me.

Having said this.....oh yeah, I'll go back.  Preferably during football season, when the sports books are going strong.  They were all super-dead this time, with nothing but baseball for anyone to barely care about.

If I want it to cost less, I suppose I need to go back more often, for comps' sake.

RAGBRAI - 2014 Edition

Just off another two-day jaunt on the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI).  Similar to last year, I rode a little over 100 miles in the two days, this time in northwest Iowa.  My 2014 observations:

* Just because somebody puts up a snow fence and sells beer within the perimeter, it doesn't mean you should call it a beer garden.

* Confirmed:  Northwest Iowa is the flattest part of the state.  Day 1 had maybe one semi-serious hill to climb.

* You could not ask for a better overnight area than Okoboji and the Iowa Great Lakes.  Anyone who went to the main entertainment venue in Arnolds Park saw a nice sunset over West Lake Okoboji, and heard great live music.

* Found no pineapple pie this year!

* A little disappointing to not see some of the cycling 'teams' that made RAGBRAI semi-famous, like Team Whiners or Team Roadkill or Team Killer Bees.  Age must have broken them up, because it's hard to believe I didn't see any of them over those two days.

* It's not the heat, it's the headwinds.

* Best jersey seen this year goes to Old Fart Cycling Team.  Their motto:  "Age & Treachery Will Always Triumph Over Youth & Agility."

Baseball's All No-Star Game

The Major League Baseball All-Star Game is this week in Minneapolis.  It's a big event, in close proximity, and it would be cool to see in person.  So why am I not even fired up to watch it at all?

Because Major League Baseball continues to be a flawed sport.

The last time Minneapolis hosted the MLB All-Star Game it, I was there, in the old Metrodome.  It was wall-to-wall future Hall-of-Famers:  George Brett, Carlton Fisk, Cal Ripken, Wade Boggs, Don Mattingly (that's just the American League), Ozzie Smith, Dave Parker, Ryne Sandberg, Nolan Ryan, and Pete Rose.  (I know, Rose isn't in the HoF because of gambling, but we all know he should be.)  This is a short list -- there were others.

Nearly 30 years later, there aren't more than a couple of cinch HoFers in the game, maybe only one (Derek Jeter).  It's been diluted by too many teams with too many players making too much money on too few contending teams.

About five years ago, I wrote about reasons why Major League Baseball sucks.  A couple of these have been partially cleaned up (replay and PEDs), but in the end, nothing has changed enough for me to spend a lot of time watching it.

Not even the All-Star Game.

I (Religiously) Object

Last week, there were a couple of Supreme Court rulings of major interest.  The most interesting, and polarizing, one was Burwell v. Hobby Lobby.

In brief (pun intended), the court struck down the contraceptive coverage mandate under the Affordable Care Act (ACA).  It further ruled that closely held for-profit corporations could be exempt from a law they religiously object to if there is a less restrictive means of furthering the law's interest.

As expected, this ruling sent progressives into a tizzy.  The basic themes were 1) corporations are not people, and 2) now every employer will be able exempt itself from federal laws by saying they have a religious objection.

Anyone who looks back at this blog knows that I generally side with the socially liberal viewpoint.  I even posted an entry about the self-righteousness of some groups opposing the mandate.  And yes, it does seem crazy that 5 Catholic males on a court could make far-reaching decisions that affect only women.  (On second thought, not only does that seem crazy, it IS crazy.)

However, anyone who looks back at this blog will also know that I generally side with fiscally conservative capitalism.  While there's nothing specifically fiscally conservative about this ruling, generally speaking, I don't believe that employers should be federally mandated to provide medical coverage of any kind.

So, I'm having a hard time getting worked up about the Burwell ruling.  While I disagree with it, I also think the one absolute problem with the ACA is the employer mandate.  While everything else about the ACA may turn out just fine, including the individual mandate, the employer mandate is dumb.

Regardless of whether it's the 'job-killer' conservatives want to believe it is, employers (and other related third-parties) should not be in the health care business.  The ACA should mandate that employers NOT provide coverage, instead of the other way around.  Employers will then have to compete for quality employees solely on the basis of pay.  (I've just solved the minimum wage issue, too!)

Let the people be responsible for getting their own coverage, as with other forms of insurance.  If that sounds like it discriminates against the poor, that's why we have Medicaid.  (I know, I know, this attitude means taxpayers like me might be paying for more indigent medical care.  But on balance, I think it would still be no worse, and probably better, than it is now.)

Suffice it to say, I think the Burwell ruling is illogical, and anti-female, but I don't think it's the end of the republic.  Corporations surely aren't people, but even corporations should have some protections from the law, e.g. tort reform.  Too bad Hobby Lobby didn't focus on that.

World Cup Fever > Headache

Over the past two weeks, the quadrennial FIFA World Cup (that's soccer to Americans, and futbol to everyone else) has been playing out.  It's the ultimate tournament for the most popular sport in the world, but usually an American afterthought for only the 6th or 7th most popular sport in the U.S.

For reasons not fully related to the growth of soccer's popularity here, it seems Americans who couldn't care less about soccer have joined those who could care less, and the nation suddenly has World Cup fever.  How and why has this happened?

1)  Lots more kids plays soccer these days, just as they did four years ago, and the four years before that, and the four years before that, etc.  So there is more generational interest.

2)  The U.S. has so many more immigrants now, from so many countries.  These folks have brought there passion for futbol with them; it rubs off on Americans who now works and socialize with them.

3)  The U.S. men's national soccer team has been more successful over the years, and won its first World Cup game.  Nothing brings out the bandwagon-ing, no-nothing fans more than a winning team.

As a short-term memory, immediate-gratification nation, this fever shall soon pass.  That's good, because seeing people suddenly interested in something they know nothing about gives me a headache.

It was fun while it lasted, but I doubt many people will be taking their new-found passion for soccer beyond this month.  After all, American football is right around the corner.

Bad TV

I hate my cable TV provider.

My cable TV provider is Mediacom.  They've had the Des Moines cable TV franchise for as long as I can remember.  Why, I don't know.  With luck, they'll get bought out by another provider soon.

I've been to enough other places in Iowa and beyond to know that Mediacom offers the worst basic channel selection compared to its competitors.  At the same cost, maybe more.  And their service is so-so at best.

Last week, they raised my monthly charge by 25%, because apparently my contract agreement expired.  Now I'm going to get the same, for more.  Great.

So why don't I do something about it?  Why don't I switch to satellite?

Because switching would be an even bigger pain in the neck.  Providers like Mediacom know this.  And regardless of whether I switch or not, I'm still stuck getting a bundle of channels I don't want, just to have the ones I do want.

It's hard to believe that in 2014, nobody has à la carte TV choices.  It's a conspiracy.

If I'm so lucky to live another 10 or so years to live, I look forward to having just the TV shows I want delivered to me, on demand, via my computer-TV.

Until then, I'll hate my cable TV provider.

Best Song Lyrics (Part XV)

It's a little embarrassing to have just realized I haven't included a single female songwriter yet in this continuing series on lyrics.  There are plenty to choose from, although not as many these days as in the 60s and 70s.  In terms of contemporary singer/songwriter/performers, Lady GaGa comes to mind, but not enough history yet.

For my 'best song lyrics' category, I'm going to go with Sarah McLachlan.  Known these days as much for her charity work, she has a great, soulful music library to choose from.  She's also covered a lot of Christmas season songs, my favorite being Gordon Lightfoot's Song For A Winter's Night.

My choice for a great example of her music is Building A Mystery, for which she won a Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance.  It's about keeping certain aspects of our lives hidden from others.  It was a bit unique for the time (1997) in that it was a popular radio song that contained a naughty word, which made for a gap in the radio lyrics.  That part goes like this -- can you see the naughty word?:

You woke up screaming aloud
A prayer from your secret God
To feed off our fears
And hold back your tears
Oh you give us a tantrum
And a know-it-all grin
Just when we need one
When the evening’s thin
Oh you’re so beautiful
A beautiful fucked up man
You’re setting up your
Razor wire shrine
‘Cause you’re working
Building a mystery
Holding on, holding it in
Oh yeah you’re working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

The Sound of One Hand Clapping

I was thinking about a blog post to update this one on Iowa's repressed views of medicinal marijuana.  Then the Des Moines Register published the following editorial, which is pretty consistent with my views:

Iowa parents will no longer face prosecution if they purchase a special marijuana extract for their severely epileptic children. Gov. Terry Branstad signed a bill into law, which takes effect July 1, that allows parents to buy a cannabis oil that may lessen seizures. For that, he and the Legislature deserve credit.

“This bill received tremendous support and truly shows the power of people talking to their legislators and to their governor about important issues to them, to their families and to their children,” Branstad said shortly before he signed Senate File 2360.

Parents did work relentlessly the past few months to gain support from lawmakers. And that did make all the difference in swaying elected officials. However, this law is only the first step toward changes Iowa needs to make.

The parents who will be legally allowed to purchase the cannabis oil still face obstacles. They need a recommendation from an Iowa neurologist and will have to travel to other states with less restrictive marijuana laws to obtain the oil. They may face waiting lists.

Also, the change in law benefits only a small group of Iowans with the most organized lobbying efforts. Other sick Iowans should have legal access to marijuana extracts, too. These include people with painful and debilitating conditions like cancer, spinal cord injuries and severe arthritis, who may benefit from the drug. But if these people obtain cannabis oil, they will still be considered criminals in this state.

Benton Mackenzie, for example, has been diagnosed with angiosarcoma, a cancer of the blood vessels. The 48-year-old was growing his own marijuana to make cannabis oil to shrink skin lesions caused by the disease. After the plants were confiscated from his parents’ home in Long Grove last summer, his lesions have grown enormous and his health has deteriorated.

Mackenzie and his wife are both charged with felony drug possession. His 73-year-old parents are charged with hosting a drug house. His son is charged with misdemeanor possession, and his friend is charged in the drug conspiracy. A Scott County district judge recently ruled Mackenzie won’t be able to use his illness as a defense.

“At least the state is now recognizing, with a law, that marijuana has medicinal value,” said Mackenzie.

Yes, but the state has much more work to do on this issue.

Branstad and other mostly Republicans in Iowa want us to applaud how open-minded they were in helping just a few Iowans with the cannabis oil law, in the absolute most minimal way possible.  It's a joke.

To paraphrase the old Zen riddle, they deserve the applause made by the sound of one hand clapping.

Dear Graduating Class of 2014

Time for my annual advice to graduating seniors.  I'm going to once again concentrate on college-level seniors, but to high school graduates I have this reminder:  You haven't accomplished anything.  According to the census bureau, nearly 90% of U.S. citizens over age 25 have a high school education.  Congrats for not being the 1 out of 10, if it makes you feel better.  You know those graduation parties your parents threw to celebrate?  Those weren't actually for you, they were for your parents and other relatives, who survived your vain teenage years.  Call me in five years and we can talk about your accomplishments, if any.

As for our college graduates, I've decided I may have been too hard on you the past couple of years.  If you've got a bachelor's degree but no job or plans for independent living, you may not be entirely to blame.  It's clear there is another culprit, and I'm not referring to the economy.  It's your parents.

That's right, your parents are at least partially to blame for your troubles.  The children of the so-called 'greatest generation' have become the greatest coddlers.

You'd think that after hearing about our own parents winning World War II, then partaking in a mechanical and transportation revolution that put hard work at a premium, we would teach that same toughness and work ethic to our kids.  Instead, we've gone the other way.  We've excused your (in)actions, and often allowed you too much slack during college, where many of you now don't even attempt to find a full-time job until after graduation.

And there's no pressure to find a job, because we parents will do you graduates an even greater disservice by acting like we're your best friends.  We bring you back in to room with us while you consume without cost or limit, halfheartedly looking for full-time work during the day while wholeheartedly going out with your other unemployed friends at night.  Of course, you'll accept this offer -- why not?  It isn't as if you have anything else to do.

This seems especially crazy to me, because when your parents were your age, moving back in with their parents would have been less than a last resort.  Back then, college grads found a cheap apartment, a roommate (or two), a jalopy car, and a so-so job -- whatever it took to remain independent.  Have you become so lazy and reliant on your parents' money that you aren't willing to do these things?  For many of you, the answer is yes.

In summary, at your age, your grandparents were fighting a war, and your parents were on their own, possibly even married with children.  Most of you graduates are about as far from that as you can be.  So much for learning what you live.

So, it's up to you, graduates.  Your parents have sold out to be your friends.  Your friends have sold out to be your enablers.  Unless you have a trust fund, you're going to have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps (have your parents tie them first), and self-start your way out into the big world.

Good luck.  And remember, in the immortal words of Judge Smails from Caddyshack, "The world needs ditch-diggers, too."

Maintenance Required

This week I tweeted about how fed up I am with dog owners who never walk their dogs, and instead let them just pee and dump in their front or back yards.  (The one good thing about this is, at least they aren't doing their business in MY yard.)  Even though I've mentioned this issue on a prior occasion, I've decided I need to expand on this mini-rant.

If you buy a pet, and specifically here I will refer to a dog, you are going ALL IN.  That means there will be a lot more to do than just have the dog sit in your lap or play with your kids on the lawn.  It means you need to keep them fed, and healthy, and sheltered.  And yes, you need to walk them probably twice a day.

You're an idiot if you buy your kids a dog and just expect them to take care of this.  Ain't gonna happen.  Oh sure, it'll work for a few weeks or maybe months, but eventually the kids realize it's a chore and give up on it. That means the primary dog-walker is going to be the adult(s) in the house, unless you hire it out.

If you aren't willing to walk your dog in the elements on a daily basis (even factoring in a few days when it simply isn't possible), then don't buy a dog, dummy.  Find another form of companionship --  it will be better for both you and the dog.

And while I'm at it, I'm going to throw in the same sort of logic for residential homeowner lawns.  If you aren't going to take care of your lawn, please don't buy a house with a lawn.  Or hire someone else to take care of it for you.

This is especially true if you live in my neighborhood, effectively de-valuing my property by your lack of attention to yard work.  At least I have the ability to contact the weed commissioner about you, which I've been known to do for repeat offenders.

In summary, don't buy things that require regular maintenance, and then refuse to maintain them.

Berky Meeting Nuggets 2014 (Abridged)

For the first time in longer than I can remember, I wasn't able to attend this year's Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting.  Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger went ahead without me this year.

Here's one meeting summary.  Here's another.  Both are good, but unfortunately, both are largely devoid of the humorous interplay between Buffett and Munger as they answered questions.

They no doubt missed me.

A Fitness Problem

Central Iowa has a fitness problem.  But not like you might think.

In the next few weeks, LifeTime Fitness is going to open a huge franchised health club in suburban Des Moines.  This is the latest of many other large 'full-service' fitness facilities in the metro area, including Prairie Life Fitness, Seven Flags Fitness, Aspen Athletic Club, Fitness World West, plus several newer YMCAs that exist in and around the city.

In the meantime, we have a variety of other not-quite-full service health facilities, such as Planet Fitness or CrossFit Des Moines.  Of course, we also have a bunch of 24-hour self-service options, like Anytime Fitness or Snap Fitness.

We also have all kinds of other wellness entities (some with multiple locations and many locally-owned) that actually exist for various boutique exercise classes, including Farrell's Extreme Bodyshaping or Kosama, to name two of more than 20.

So in a metro area of about 300,000, we are overrun with health clubs.  Unfortunately, we are not overrun with healthy looking people.

This begs the question, how do all of these fitness facilities make enough money to exist?  The only logical conclusion I can come up with is, this is an industry that is given money in return for nothing.  Think about it -- thousands of people pay monthly and/or annual membership fees to partake in the venue and/or classes, and then inevitably many of them never actually show up.

This is clearly a great business model, offering a pre-paid service that is never actually performed, with no guarantee of a better outcome.  As a fee-based financial advisor, the cynical side of me would say this business model is a lot that of a commission-based financial advisor!

In the end, not all of these fitness places are going to make it.  That's good, because later this year I'll be looking to buy some excellent used exercise equipment.

(Un)American Pickers

First, a lesson on stock dispersion in investing.

Low stock dispersion means that stocks are generally moving in the same direction. High stock dispersion means that individual stocks are headed in more unpredictable directions, as has been the case so far in 2014.  While the so-called financial experts are always calling it a ‘stock picker’s market’ (because they make money on trading), they are louder about it during those periods of high dispersion.

If stocks have low dispersion, presumably an active stock picker should find it more difficult to beat a relative benchmark index.  Conversely, when stocks are acting more independent of one another, there should be more opportunity for skillful (or lucky) investors to outperform.  Of course, there is also a greater opportunity for the less skillful (or unlucky) investor to underperform.

A new study titled Dispersion:  Measuring Market Opportunity, by S&P Dow Jones, suggests there is no evidence to support the notion that stock picking is easier or better done when there is wide dispersion among individual stock returns.  In fact, the data suggest the probability that actively managed mutual funds will outperform the market (already a less than 50% chance after expenses) is no higher during periods of high dispersion than low dispersion.

It all makes sense.  Why should a greater percentage of active fund managers outperform during periods of high dispersion?  Their skill doesn't suddenly increase during these periods.

Money managers who masquerade as financial advisors have lots of marketing ploys they use when promoting their services, and saying it’s a ‘stock picker’s market’ is among the most used.   But the truth is the same as always – there’s no extra benefit to the guesswork of active management.   Use a passive, index-type approach to investing, and you’ll be farther ahead in the long run.

Swimsuit Power

When I was around 10 years old, my parents acceded to my request to subscribe to Sports Illustrated magazine.  In those days, this was one of the only ways to get national sports information beyond a daily paper or local newscast, plus get good photos illustrating the action.

Even back then, once a year in February, SI published a swimsuit edition.  There really wasn't much to it then, in the 1970s.  Kind of a boring issue, really, until 1978, when Cheryl Tiegs and her fishnet top created a controversy that would quickly go viral by today's standards.  Short-term, this meant a lot of canceled subscriptions for SI; long-term, it meant that annual edition would become a cultural icon.

This past February, SI published its 50th anniversary swimsuit edition.  I just bought it this week.  (While I stopped subscribing to SI several years ago after a run of about 30 years, I've always purchased the swimsuit issue -- to keep up on the pop culture of it!)  Because of the anniversary, SI had photos of the cover models it made famous over the past 50 years, along with their comments about how being on the cover changed their lives.

Here's the gist:  Many of the models mentioned how SI not only launched them to supermodel status, but also how they were able to parlay that fame and fortune to help others.  Not only was this done through charity work, but also by the way SI empowered them -- they felt their success helped other women know they could be successful in their endeavors.

I loved reading this.  So many times over the years people would criticize SI for how the swimsuit issue 'exploited' women.  I received that comment many times from others for just owning that particular magazine.  But my reply was basically always the same, which was to assert that these women are the opposite of exploited.  They are willing and wealthy and healthy, and how could that be a bad thing for other women?

Maybe I'm not able to comprehend the gender-specific argument, but you can bet if I get that exploitation argument anytime soon, I'll be using the 50th anniversary swimsuit edition to be its own defense.

Terrorists > VEISHEA

For the uninitiated, VEISHEA is an annual week-long celebration held each spring on the campus of Iowa State University.  VEISHEA is an acronym for the original 5 colleges of the university:  Veterinary Medicine, Engineering, Industrial Science, Home Economics, Agriculture.  It's presumably the largest student run festival in the nation,

VEISHEA has been marred in the past two decades by off-campus, late night, alcohol-induced, party-goer rioting on the last weekend, causing mostly minor but some significant damage and injuries.  The last time it had happened was 2004, and the university president at the time canceled VEISHEA for the following year.  Another riot happened again this week (this time early in the week), and in response the new university president, Steven Leath, suspended the rest of -- which is to say most of -- VEISHEA for the year.

Lots of losers in this, but hands down the biggest losers in all of it are.....the ISU university presidents.

While there is no defending the instigators or participants in these, neither is there a rational defense of canceling VEISHEA in response.  By all accounts, it wasn't so much a riot as a social-media inspired mob scene with a few drunken idiots.  To make matters worse, Leath acts as if his action has the full support of the university leadership.

Let's drop the public posturing and consider the facts that Leath is ignoring, and would like others to ignore:

1) He says he's thinking of the institution and safety in making his decision to cancel, but what exactly does he mean by institution?  The administration?  The faculty?  Because the university institution doesn't exist without the students, and the vast majority of them want VEISHEA to go on.  So do the surrounding campus businesses.

2) Speaking of the administration and faculty, while they made be around for dozens of VEISHEA festivals (thank you, tenure!), the students are only there for a few.  Many of them volunteer and put many hours of work into it.  Now Leath has taken away the fruits of their labor, because of a few folks who might not even be students.  It's bad enough that the majority are made to suffer for the few in elementary school or high school, but this is college.  C'mon, man.

3) By canceling VEISHEA, Leath has unquestionably increased the probability of more trouble.  Now there will be no alcohol-free alternative activities, and more students are likely to attended the off-campus parties, which have always been a source of mob-like behavior.  This probability has already become reality, as police have stated that in the following two days after the 'riot' there have been about twice the usual off-campus incidents reported than in past years.  (Note: This year's riot was in part a result of police closing down an off-campus party. Is it really that hard for Leath and his institutional cronies to put 2 and 2 together?)

4) Leath could easily allow VEISHEA to commence while law enforcement reviews the volumes of video evidence (something other riots didn't have), and both they and he can ultimately take action against the few who deserve it.  Instead, he chose to rush to judgement, and punish the many who don't deserve it.  When are educational institutions, at any level, going to accept that they effectively govern behavior that goes on beyond their physical territory?

This continues a pattern of questionable, socially-conservative decisions from Leath.  He was the pansy for the conservatives on the state board of regents a year ago in stopping the Harkin Institute at Iowa State, and by not allowing freedom in their research, valuable senatorial papers will now go to Drake University instead. And no one has any idea why he's single-handedly prohibited a player from participating on the men's basketball team this year, even though said previously-suspended player has been cleared by the legal system.

How much longer before the contributing alumni just suspend their donations in the same way Leath seems to arbitrarily suspend things?  Maybe they should -- then I'm guessing he'll suddenly find ways to make things work, instead of thinking of reasons for things to not work.  I noticed one alumnus already commenting that if there was a student uprising at a sporting event, the president wouldn't cancel the rest of the athletic season. But apparently, canceling VEISHEA is OK, because it only hurts students and not the big donor fans.

By canceling VEISHEA and threatening its future, Leath and his predecessor have simply allowed the terrorists to win at the expense of the students.  At Iowa State, this is called leadership, but it's really just retreat.

April Fools

In honor of April Fool's Day (or is it April Fools' Day?), I wanted to set out a list of a few facts that should be April Fool's/Fools' Day jokes, but aren't:

* There are now successful reality TV shows based on hoarding, pawn shops, doomsday prepping, housewives, duck whistles, alligator catching, arm wrestling, dance moms, teen moms, naked survivalists, and other narcissistic freaks.

* Climate change.

* Most Major League Baseball teams start the year with virtually no chance of making the playoffs, and this is supposed to keep sports fans occupied all summer.

* A full jumbo jet was lost in the south China Sea and no one has the faintest clue exactly how or where.

* Fox News.

* This winter wasn't the coldest and windiest on record.

* Steve King is a U.S. Congressman.

* [This one gets added effective on April 2, 2014:  The U.S. Supreme Court again rules that there is a First Amendment protection given to those who want to make unlimited financial donations to political campaigns, and that said protection won't corrupt politics.]

I-95

Spent a few days last week in the I-95 corridor, shuffling between Philadelphia and Washington, D.C.  I hadn't been to D.C. for about 20 years, and never traveled there by car.  Some observations of the 30 or so hours spent there:

* Visiting the Smithsonian museums seems like it should be more interesting than it is.  The Air and Space Museum is very cool, but the others are.....museums.  Art and history aren't really that much fun.

* I highly recommend taking the tour of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing.  It's only about 30 minutes, and to see and hear the details behind how money is printed is the opposite of the Smithsonian Museums, meaning it's more interesting than it sounds.

* The respectful silence of the hundreds / thousands of tourists at Arlington National Cemetery is deafening.

* The other monuments, in my order of interest:  Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Memorial, World War II Memorial.  The Washington Memorial was being repaired, and while it's tall, it isn't all that compelling.  Didn't get to the Jefferson, MLK, or Iwo Jima Memorials.

* The White House is neat to look at but if you could tour it, or be there at the right time to see dignitaries or cars or choppers coming or going, it would be a lot better.  The Capitol and the Supreme Court are the same way.

* The Metro (subway) is a safe, clean, efficient way to get around D.C.  But it isn't necessarily cheap, and you still end up walking a long way to see the tourist attractions.

* The drive on I-95 between Philly and D.C. (through Baltimore) is ridiculous.  Packed with cars and tolls.  So many people in a hurry to get somewhere else, every day.  It's OK if there's no next time for that.

Bad Medicine

On March 16th, 2014 I had a letter to the editor published in the Sunday Des Moines Register.  They edited it, so here it is with the edited part in brackets:

So Iowa Governor Branstad opposes legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes (on the vague grounds of 'unintended consequences'), [while our legislative 'leaders' pat themselves on the back simply because they had a 'conversation' about it this year.]  Both government branches claim the issue needs more study.

The reality is, there's nothing else to study.  Twenty other states already allow medicinal marijuana. Dispensing it by prescription isn't rocket science.  Plus, a majority of Iowans want to legalize medicinal marijuana.

Yet, Iowa is no where near the point at which its narrow-minded political leaders are willing to act to reduce the pain and suffering of some of its citizens.

Iowa doesn't need more study-time to legalize medicinal marijuana.  What it needs is its legislative and executive branch to stop assuming marijuana is an evil drug, and start focusing on the good it can do.

See it here.

A Self-Professed Idiot

My Favorite Martian, WOITH Rep. Steve King of Iowa, is at it again.  Our resident racist / homophobe / bigot had a few (dumb) things to say in support of Arizona's proposed anti-gay, er, I mean religious freedom legislation (which I just wrote about the other day).

I'm happy to say The Colbert Report punished him.  You must watch this video now.

Another Solution In Search Of A Problem

Spent a few days in Arizona in the past week, and what little news I saw was dominated (locally and nationally) by the furor over the state's proposed legislation allowing businesses to refuse service to gays based on religious beliefs.  A few hours before I wrote this, the Republican governor vetoed the bill, after waiting longer than she should have.

While I was in Arizona, I played golf with several small business owners, and I asked what they thought about this bill.  Almost unbelievably, most didn't know to what I was even referring - this goes to show you how much staying up on current political events really matters to a small business-owner's success.  But this also underscored the dumbness of it all.

Here again, we have a solution in search of a problem.  No one is crying out for this legislation, other than your basic right-wing religious zealots, and we consistently see that aligning with them politically is a guaranteed way to lose elections.

It was a terrible idea for the Republicans in the Arizona legislature to advance this issue, they stood to gain nothing while alienating voters.  It was anti-value.

To recap the list of stupid, in no particular order:  Bigoted legislation, the Arizona Republican Party with the possible exception of the governor, certain small-business owners, solutions in search of problems.

Olympic Hiatus

This blog is currently on a break as I represent Guboslavia in curling at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.

My Police State

Last week, our little neck of the woods got a bit of national attention for the way law enforcement handled a home raid.  To very briefly summarize, a suburban police force sent in multiple officers in SWAT gear to execute a search warrant at a house in a credit card theft and fraud case.

The homeowner and his do-gooder national blogger sympathizers questioned the heavy-handedness of the raid, including using a battering ram to open the door.  The police chief countered that the homeowner was a registered gun owner, and that they used the information they had to make a decision.

You'd think the libertarian side of me would agree this was too much police force.  You'd think wrong.  Let's recap the what happened and the outcome:

* The homeowner admitted he had a 9mm gun that he drew but then re-holstered when he heard it was the police.  And he was in the bathroom when he did this.  Carries his gun everywhere, I guess.

* This suburban home had surveillance cameras outside and inside the house - what suburban Iowa home does that?  Isn't that a bit of a tell that the homeowner has something to hide?  The police chief noted that they disabled or covered up the cameras as standard procedure, so others could not monitor approaching officers.

* There were three other unrelated people in the house, along with the homeowner's mother, who's probably really the actual homeowner.  Two of them were arrested on unrelated warrants, and time will tell if they were involved with or know who was involved in the credit card theft and fraud.

So to recap, not only was there potential criminal activity in the house, and at least one loaded weapon, there were also actual criminals.  But somehow, the story is all about the manner in which the police chose to protect themselves.

We don't have a police state in Iowa (or the U.S.), and bloggers or media-types who use examples like this to say otherwise should give it a rest.

The Late Shows

Four years ago, I wrote about my disdain over NBC's handling of Conan O'Brien's short stint as the host of The Tonight Show.  Conan was robbed, and he eventually ended up on TBS at 10pm central time, where I dutifully DVR his shows.

Now four years later, Leno is leaving again, this time 'agreeing' to leave so that NBC can move in a younger guy, Jimmy Fallon. Where have we seen this before?

I like Fallon and what he's done on the Late Night show, as I did with Conan.  And as with Conan, I'll probably start watching the Tonight Show again, (I gave it up in disgust after Leno came back), although in the 10:30pm half-hour I prefer watching The Colbert Report.  I haven't watched much of The Late Show with David Letterman over the past few years - used to watch it religiously, but we've both gotten too old for his show.

Good-bye again, Jay.  You should have stayed away.

Best Song Lyrics (Part XIV)

Often times when sitting in the quiet of my office, I turn to Pandora to help fill the silence with mello music.  I only have two current 'channels' set up:  Jimmy Buffett Radio, and Jackson Browne Radio.

Why Jackson Browne?  Because it gives me not only good music, but good lyrics.  Plus, on that channel I'll also get a lot of Eagles, a lot of Jim Croce, a lot of Dave Matthews Band, each of whom has already been mentioned in my Best Lyrics anthology.  (Little known fact:  Jackson Browne co-wrote Take It Easy, popularized by the Eagles.)

You probably need to be over 30 (40?) to appreciate Jackson Browne and what he's done for music.  The last half of his career he started to get more politically active, and it comes through in those lyrics.  Either way, he's just a fantastic performer and songwriter.

There are so many songs I could go with as an example - so I'll go with more than one.  First, check out the final verse of The Pretender:

I'm going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Thought true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the Pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But I have to add this, from Rosie, with its beautiful, double-entendre chorus:

She was standing at the load-in

When the trucks rolled up

She was sniffing all around

Like a half grown female pup

She wasn't hard to talk to

Looked like she had nowhere to go

So I gave her my pass

So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me

And I got her a beer

While I mixed that sound on stage

So the band could hear

The more I watched her watch them play

The less I could think of to say

And when they walked off stage

The drummer swept that girl away

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring

When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing

When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me

Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

Rocky Mountain High

My legions of followers must be going crazy wondering when I would write about Colorado's now-three-week-old law allowing sales of (and therefore possession and use of) recreational pot.

It's only one of the greatest legal developments of the past.....well.....how long ago did we repeal prohibition?

This is just the latest watershed moment in the movement toward granting marijuana the same treatment as alcohol in the U.S.  It will take more time, of course, there's still a long way to go.  Even in Colorado, there are still restrictions on quantity that can be purchased, and it can't be smoked in public.  (Really?)

But next year, the state of Washington will have the same law.  Then probably Oregon, then another state, then another, etc.  There's no putting this Genie back in the bottle, because Americans are going to realize what the rest of we more enlightened Americans have know for years:  Using regulated pot is no more dangerous - in fact, it's less dangerous - than alcohol.  Plus, states can collect taxes on it, and spending less on prisons because they can stop treating sellers and buyers like criminals.

Just consider the last few weeks since the law has been in place.  I don't live in Colorado, but I don't hear any national outcry about how this law is the road to hell.  We're going to collectively accept that it's OK, after all these years.  Maybe it's an apples to oranges comparison, but it seems a lot like the slow but inexorable march toward acceptance of same-sex marriage.

Cash Only

Iowa is a state where the modern does battle with the anachronistic on a daily basis.  There is no better example of this than the Iowa State Fair, where you see both designer clothes and bib overalls.  Where you see both major music acts and fiddlers on stage.  Where you see both presidential candidates and carnies.

But there is apparently one thing Iowans will not allow to be modernized, namely how they pay for their fair food.  Last week the state fair caused a furor by saying they were implementing a pay-by-ticket policy on food, where fair-goers would first have to purchase tickets for $.50, and then use them for their food purchases.

This is probably a thinly-veiled attempt by the fair to keep concession stands honest when reporting their food sales, from which the fair gets a cut.  It seemed benign enough though, right?  I mean, we've all been places where we exchange tickets rather than cash for food or beverages.  Plus, it would be safer for all those making night deposits of cash.

Instead, the blue-collar resistors of change that apparently are at the core of the Iowa State Fair rose up, and using social media (who knew?), they slayed the ticket dragon.  My goodness, stand in one line to get tickets before standing in another to get their fried-on-a-stick food?  Outrageous!

It didn't hurt that governor-for-life Terry Branstad weighed in that the fair should reconsider.  Like he ever goes to the fair and buys fair food with cash.  It also came out that the guv is on the state fair board, but never goes to the meetings.  Maybe he should at least start reading the meeting minutes.

So the fair is going back to the old (read: current) cash-for-food method.  The question is in 10 years, when we'll all be paying for things by debiting from our cell phones instead of cash or tickets, will the agents of non-change rise up again in the defense of anachronism?

Weathering The Weather

Check out this screenshot I took of the weather conditions in Des Moines on January 6, 2014:

Now, check out this screenshot I took of the weather conditions in Des Moines on August 30, 2013:

We love to talk about the weather in Iowa.  It starts virtually every conversation - it's crazy.  It's primarily because agriculture is our economic engine, and the weather has the biggest impact on agriculture.  (Well, that and government subsidies.)

But when you see weather extremes like this.....a 115 degree temperature change in a four month period, not to mention a 142 degree "wind chill to heat index" temperature change?  Even I think it's something worth discussing.

Here's what not to include in that conversation - that somehow the very cold temps mean global warming doesn't exist.  That's ignorant.  If anything, this is an argument that climate change (a more apt term to describe things) is in fact happening. Weather extremes support that, cold or hot.