Yes Means Yes

When our kids were little, and said 'yes' to something we asked, we usually threw in a reminder that 'yes' meant something.  Specifically, it meant a promise, and a person doesn't break a promise.

Unfortunately, some people don't live up to this verbal contract / moral obligation.  Even more unfortunately for me, when this happens in my line of work, that results in a monetary loss.

I'm a fee-only financial planner.  When I first meet with prospective clients, it's typically a fact-finding mission coupled with a trust-building conversation.  I'm asking them what they need, and they're asking me what I do,

Occasionally, this Q & A evolves into the prospect asking a number of specific questions about their situation, basically poking around for free advice.  I have no problem with that, but before it goes far I ask them for a commitment.  This is where it gets real.

Every so often, I'll get the 'yes' from the prospect, and we'll go on to have lengthy conversations about their situation.  Often, I'll put together a more formal presentation, at no cost to them.  Of course, this does cost me, but at this point, I'm relying on the 'yes' that a will eventually be collecting a fee from them.

In the past month, two of these 'yes' folks have called me after I'd done this work, and told me that they were going to work with someone else.  As you might expect, they suddenly disclosed they have a friend or family member who does this kind of work.

So basically, they lied to me to get something they wanted.  Ironically, they had both previously disclosed to me something that suggested they were faith-based.  When people do that in a voluntary manner, any discomfort I may have is overshadowed by the comfort I have in thinking their word will be their bond.

I'm glad to say, these situations happen infrequently -- I can only think of one other time in the past couple of years.  That's good, because working for free isn't something I want to do.

Those who say 'yes' when they have no actual intent to commit are intellectually dishonest, at the least.  At the most, they are freeloading liars with no moral compass.

Even my children know that.