It Doesn't Mean Anything

In the past decade or so, we have become an nation of symbols for causes.  These symbols might come in the form of ribbons or wristbands (think LiveStrong, for cancer awareness), or even something as simple as a color (think pink, for breast cancer awareness).

People often show off many different symbols for many different causes, but they all have one thing in common:  They don't often help the cause.

I've always thought the best example of this is people who put magnetic 'I Support Our Troops' ribbons on their vehicles.  This got to be a big deal while Americans were fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, and it was all very nice, but it didn't do a single thing for the soldier or his/her family.  Not one thing.  But hey, that vehicle is supporting the troops, right?

Another more recent example are the various symbols to show support for the families (or is it the victims?) of the Newtown, CT shooting.  Yes, it was a terrible tragedy, but prayers and ribbons aren't going to do anything for either the families or the victims.  If people really want to do something that matters, they need to speak out publicly against a crazy gun culture that allows the sale of semi-automatic weapons.  That will not completely stop these types of killings, but it would at least save some lives, and maybe at least one good thing can come from those deaths.

Full disclosure - I've been a long-time wearer of the yellow LiveStrong wristband, a symbol for cancer awareness, the one that started the entire wristband craze.  While I wear it to remind me of those I know who had/have cancer, I also actually do something about it by donating every year to the American Cancer Society.  I get a kick out of all the people who simply stopped wearing it once it lost it's cache', and again this year once Lance Armstrong fell from grace.  Do they suddenly not care about cancer?  Or maybe they only care when the cause or its leader is popular?

So if you wear red or pink or purple, or a ribbon or a wristband or a magnet, stop for a moment and ask yourself:  Are you truly making things better for those you say you support, or are you really just pretending, as a way to make yourself look better?

Words Now That There Are Words

Now that we've had a week to absorb the mass murder of children and teachers at a Connecticut grade elementary school, as well as a week to listen to the pundits and politicians, let's just agree on one thing:

It will probably happen again.

Regardless of all of the talk about doing more in the area of mental health, it's almost certain that America won't do anything.  It isn't even a priority in a good economy; it surely won't be one now.  Short of imprisoning everyone currently on a mind-altering prescription drug, what could be done to absolutely ensure someone won't do something crazy?

Regardless of all of the talk about gun control and banning assault weapons, it's almost certain that America will stay the same.  Did you happen to see the NRA presser today, where they called for an armed guard at every school, which they would help train free of charge?!  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you another sign of the apocalypse, ironically on the same day many Mayan-worshipers predicted!

Regardless of all of the talk about how we'll never forget this, it's almost certain that America will slowly file this into the recesses of our collective minds, along with all of the other senseless mass killings by mentally unstable people.  We eventually will go days, then weeks, then months without thinking about it.  That's how human beings roll, excepting those directly affected.

My wife is a teacher, and despite all of the safeguards in place, a person would have no difficulty obtaining access inside the school.  Even if the system was foolproof, the windows would have to be bulletproof, so crazies like the Connecticut killer couldn't just shoot them out and enter that way.

Let's get real - the loss of freedoms to which Americans would have to agree, in order to absolutely prevent further school shootings, is something our dysfunctional, polarized culture is not willing to accept.  And if we aren't willing or able to do something while this multiple-child killing is on our collective consciousness, we aren't ever going to do it.

So, another school shooting is bound to happen again.  Not sure when, but it will, and that's the brutal reality for those with children, and for those who teach them.

Words When There Are No Words

STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT

ON SCHOOL SHOOTING IN NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT

James S. Brady Press Briefing Room

3:15 P.M. EST

This afternoon, I spoke with Governor Malloy and FBI Director Mueller.  I offered Governor Malloy my condolences on behalf of the nation, and made it clear he will have every single resource that he needs to investigate this heinous crime, care for the victims, counsel their families.

We’ve endured too many of these tragedies in the past few years.  And each time I learn the news I react not as a President, but as anybody else would — as a parent.  And that was especially true today.  I know there’s not a parent in America who doesn’t feel the same overwhelming grief that I do.

The majority of those who died today were children — beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old.  They had their entire lives ahead of them — birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own.  Among the fallen were also teachers — men and women who devoted their lives to helping our children fulfill their dreams.

So our hearts are broken today — for the parents and grandparents, sisters and brothers of these little children, and for the families of the adults who were lost.  Our hearts are broken for the parents of the survivors as well, for as blessed as they are to have their children home tonight, they know that their children’s innocence has been torn away from them too early, and there are no words that will ease their pain.

As a country, we have been through this too many times.  Whether it’s an elementary school in Newtown, or a shopping mall in Oregon, or a temple in Wisconsin, or a movie theater in Aurora, or a street corner in Chicago — these neighborhoods are our neighborhoods, and these children are our children.  And we're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of the politics.

This evening, Michelle and I will do what I know every parent in America will do, which is hug our children a little tighter and we’ll tell them that we love them, and we’ll remind each other how deeply we love one another.  But there are families in Connecticut who cannot do that tonight.  And they need all of us right now.  In the hard days to come, that community needs us to be at our best as Americans.  And I will do everything in my power as President to help.

Because while nothing can fill the space of a lost child or loved one, all of us can extend a hand to those in need — to remind them that we are there for them, that we are praying for them, that the love they felt for those they lost endures not just in their memories but also in ours.

May God bless the memory of the victims and, in the words of Scripture, heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.

END           

3:20 P.M. EST

Best Song Lyrics (Part XI)

In my previous ten (X) posts on this topic, I haven't included one (I) country music artist.  It hasn't been because I don't think that genre has great songwriting - there is no question that some of it is great.  It's just that, I don't regularly listen to country music, aside from the pop/rock crossover hits on the radio.

So I'm going to give a nod to country music in this post.  Probably should have done that sooner, because while it wasn't true decades ago, country music now seems to consistently have more meaningful lyrics than rock music.

I'm sure there are lots of contemporary country artists that routinely put out great lyrics.  That said, I'm going to go with an artist that was very popular when I was younger, Garth Brooks.  He may have been too commercial, but his songs seemed to have meaning.  (Full disclosure: I do have an old Garth Brooks CD that I never listen to.)

So let's go with the great, Friends In Low Places:

Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know, the last one to show
I was the last one you thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise, and the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I toasted you, said honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain 

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places

Well, I guess I was wrong, I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
Everything's all right, I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door
Hey, I didn't mean, to cause a big scene
Just give me an hour and then
Well, I'll be as high, as that ivory tower
That you're livin' in

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places

The Meaning Of Christmas (Cards) Redux

Post-Thanksgiving week begets my annual rite of deep thought over this year's holiday letter.  Last year,  I wrote about how this is a task I willingly take up, while not hiding my disdain for those who make virtually no effort.

This year, I've realized the near-deadbeat Christmas card senders don't deserve all the disdain.  I need to reserve some of it for another group - the total-deadbeat Christmas card senders, and those who send cards to them.

Yes, in the past week I've come across a couple of families that say they enjoy getting Christmas cards, but don't send any themselves.  I don't understand how either of those things happens.

I'm happy to send out holiday greetings, but there is definitely a quid pro quo.  If I don't get even a lame Christmas card over a two year period, the non-sender isn't going to get one from me.

Yeah, I know, the whole Christmas card ritual should not be a burden, nor a contest. However, for those who choose not partake of it, even in a minimal way, you're missing an opportunity to share information about your family with non-Facebook people who might care.

More Unthankfulness

Thanksgiving is early this year, which also moves up my annual list of things for which I'm not thankful.   

Once again, this list builds on the lists I've made in past years, and are presented in no particular order:

SuperPACs.

One Direction, and any past and future boy bands.

Droughts.

Phony, intellectually dishonest people.

B1G football.

Stories related to vampires or werewolves.

The fiscal cliff.

Cats.

The National Hockey League lockout.

Black Friday becoming Black Thursday or earlier.

About That Marijuana Referendum.....

When higher life forms finally emerge from their pods or arrive in their spaceships and take a close look at us Earthlings, there's a lot they will not understand about what our civilization allows.  Things like SuperPACs, or Tim Tebow as an NFL quarterback.  But one of those things will surely be how hypocritical we are in regulating some mind altering substances, while not regulating others.

However, after Washington and Colorado voted last week to legalize (sort of) recreational marijuana, we may have a little less for which to be ashamed.  (How is it that Oregon voted against this?)

Finally, we have agreement, within certain territorial boundaries, that pot is no more regulatory-worthy than alcohol.  Both can be destructive, but both can clearly have therapeutic value within reason.

Unfortunately for now, federal law still considers marijuana possession to be illegal.  And more unfortunately, there are still 48 other states that aren't enlightened on this issue, most not even enlightened enough to allow medicinal pot.

In the meantime, every state allows adults to possess, sell, and consume unregulated amounts of alcohol, often with grave consequences even to those who do not consume it.  Oh, and also, the U.S. spends millions on drug enforcement, and jails fill up with people who are not threats to society.

I've written too often about the benefits of decriminalizing pot in America.  [Search the label 'marijuana' in this blog.]  But no matter how often, the conclusion remains:  There is no intellegent life down here.

About That Presidential Election.....

Many years ago I attended a meeting where an economist was the keynote speaker. His opening line was, "I'm not a member of a major political party.  I'm a Republican."

Never has that line cut deeper than this week.  After all of the campaigning, the SuperPAC money, the advertisements, the blustery predictions, etc., the Rs have gone in reverse.

Their presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, seemed like he was qualified enough to be president.  Certainly qualified enough to defeat an economically-weakened Barack Obama.  So how did this happen?  Let a lifetime independent voter tell you.

If you listen to the Rs, they've got all sorts of reasons why they lost the presidency plus some senate seats.  The only correct reason is that the Rs don't have a big enough tent.  It's comprised of a declining base - whites, males, married females, social conservatives, and, um, that's about it.

Look at America.  It's becoming less white, less dependent female, less socially conservative.  Rs have to start appealing to those constituencies, or at least stop pissing them off.

But what are the conservative pundits framing as their next strategy?  To go even farther right!  They seem to believe that if they simply do a better job promoting their anti-secular, anti-immigration, anti-environment ideals, that we 'moderates' will be more likely to join them.

So, the Rs analysis of the problem is correct, but their solution is exactly wrong.  They think we independent voters don't understand them?  The problem is we understand them perfectly, and we don't like it.  Newsflash to Rs: We aren't going to like more of what we already don't like.

The crazy thing is, the Rs really weren't/aren't so far away from taking power.  Most independent voters are like America - socially liberal, but still fiscally conservative.  If the Rs would spend more time on the fiscally conservative message, and a lot less on the social issues, they'd be fine.

[This is a good time to note and give kudos to the states of Colorado and Washington for legalizing marijuana.  Talk about your trending social liberalism.  By the way folks, it's no big deal - they already have legalized alcohol, a more abusive and dangerous drug.  More about this in a future blog.]

There is plenty to dislike about the other non-major political party, a/k/a Democrats. As an independent, I think they're wrong on union support, wrong on expanded government, wrong on tax policy.  I matured (such as it is) in the 80s, during the Reagan revolution, and I actually believe in supply-side economics.

To a political independent like me, however, the other stuff matters more now.  It's encouraging to see WOITH politicians like Michele Bachmann, Steve King, and especially Bob Vander Plaats struggle so much (and in the latter case, outright lose) this election cycle.  Their message of hate, masquerading as social conservatism, has become the  millstone around their necks.

If they and the rest of the Rs want to appeal to today's independent voter, they need to go farther left, not farther right.

R.I.P. MLB

The Major League Baseball season ended this week, with the crowning of the World Series champion.  Oh, you didn't know?  That's because only a few people in America care about baseball after late August, and most of the rest of them stop caring after September, much less late October.

How is this possible?  Because as I've previously written, baseball sucks, and it has been sucking for a while.  The games are too long, the season is too long, the players are too forgettable, the teams have too much disparity between them.  What other reasons do we need to not be interested?

This is all exacerbated by America's love affair with college and pro football.  When Labor Day rolls around, we care about football a lot more than we do baseball.

You'd think baseball would figure all of this out someday.  Maybe invoke some type of salary cap like the other pro sports, so every franchise feels like it could be a contender.  And/or maybe end the season earlier rather than later.  Instead, they watch as the ratings for the World Series go down the tubes.

Nice job, baseball.  You suck.

How To Run A Marathon - Or Not

The Des Moines Marathon (and half-marathon) was held last weekend, in Des Moines, Iowa, of all places.  My wife ran in the half-marathon, so I attended as a supporter, but also as an observer.

Both my spouse and I were terrific in our respective roles of runner and supporter. I now write this in my role as observer:

There are many different ways one might tell by sight whether a runner is doing a half-marathon (13.1 miles) or the full marathon (26.2 miles).  These include runner pace, runner weight (the fatties are definitely NOT doing the full), and perhaps most obviously, runner apparel.  The marathoners had all the gear - the Lycra, the designer running shoes, the expensive running watch, even the personal masseuse at the finish.  In the meantime, many of the half-marathoners wore costumes.

Lots of people weren't there to run, they were there to walk.  Some were obviously walking for a cause, others were walking for exercise.  Regardless, I don't really get that.  In Des Moines, there is some sort of 5K or 10K walk/run every weekend in the warm weather months.  If someone wants to walk, do it in one of those other races, not at the marathon.  Can we not have one race that's not full of people who never actually exercise?

The after-race accommodations were awesome.  There was the usual race pictures, massages, and music.  But there was a fantastic assortment of food and beverages, which was in an area sectioned off just for the runners.  That not only kept out the spectators and other hangers-on from getting 'free' stuff (for which the runners paid within their $60+ entry fee), but preserved enough room for everyone.

Silver Anniversary Of A Crash

The stock market was down just under 2% today, Friday October 19th.  Not a good day, but relative to 25 years ago, a GREAT day.

I recall October 19, 1987 quite well.  That was the day the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped over 500 points in one day, which at the time was over 20%.  Think about that - a similar drop today would mean the Dow would fall over 2500 points!

Can you imagine the near and maybe real panic that would cause today, in the U.S. and around the world?  People would be non-functional.  At least the 40+% drop in the stock market in 2008 was more of a cascading crash, since it happened over the course of many weeks/months.

25 years ago, I was less than two years out of college, working an entry-level job setting up 401k plans for employer-customers at Principal Financial Group in Des Moines.  Oh, and I had just found out we were expecting our first child.  But I never felt like I was in danger of losing my job - if anything, there may have been more job security.  Principal needed more help after that, as the 'yuppies' of that generation suddenly concluded they should be saving more money (inside a 401k plan was one way) instead of spending every dime they made.

Looking back, one of the crazy things about that day was we were not in the 24-hour news cycle that we are today.  We weren't following the crash using TVs or the internet (the what?).  We just got periodic updates throughout the day, near the end of which we learned of the 500+ point drop.

One of my favorite stories from that day actually didn't happen until the next day, when we were ushered into a meeting with some Principal executives, who told us to tell employer-customer not to be alarmed, it was 'business as usual' there - except now we weren't going to do this, or this other thing, or that, or that other thing. In other words, it was the opposite of business as usual.  Clueless morons!

In the end, the market and the economy came back stronger than ever, setting up the 90s for another big bull run.  Is that why people think the current recovery seems non-existent - because it isn't happening fast enough?

(Un)conventional Thinking

One of the simplest and most common questions asked of investment advisors is, "What stock should I buy?"  Another frequent request is, "Where do you think the market is going?"

Although these questions ask different things, they share something in common – they are asking someone to make a forecast.  The conventional thinking is, in order to have a successful investment experience, advisors and investment managers should be able to predict the future.  Just pick the investments that will do well, and avoid all the others, right!?

Unfortunately, man versus market isn't a fair fight.  More often than not, the market is going to win.

Identifying investments that have outperformed in the past is easy, but there is no way of determining what will outperform in the future.  While some fund managers are going to ‘beat the market’ from time-to-time, a mountain of academic research tells us it’s no more than you would expect by chance.  In other words, the market always has investments that will do well, but there’s no logical way for man to determine which ones they will be.

So instead of trying to predict the future, I think about this instead:  In the aggregate, investors earn market returns before fees. Since the market reflects the collective holdings of all investors, the value-weighted average investment experience must be the market return after fees.  This is not just a theory; it is a universal truth based on simple arithmetic.

This arithmetic gives me something reliable – rather than a prediction – from which to base investment decisions.  Specifically, if I broadly diversify investments based on client risk tolerance, and keep investment costs to a minimum, I have significantly increased the likelihood of an above-average investment outcome.

Making investment decisions based on this logic certainly isn’t glamorous.  It would be much more exciting to declare which individual stocks I ‘like’ based on a hunch, and then regularly update that list.  Still, I vastly prefer our more reasoned approach.

Investors may never lose the urge to form an opinion about the future, or to ask their advisor for one.  But if those investors ask me, they should expect to hear some unconventional thinking.

The Liars Club

As we enter the heart of election season in presidential election year, so do we enter a time when the rhetoric is at an all-time high.  If only it was just rhetoric.

These days, we don't have rhetoric, which would be fairly defined as persuasive but insincere speech.  Instead, we have intellectual dishonesty, which I would define as a failure to apply a rational standards that one is fully aware of.

(Yes, I got those definitions with the help of the internet, defined as a place from which you can get information to help prove your point.  Also, don't confuse these terms with another one of my favorites, 'truthiness', coined by Stephen Colbert as something people claim to know intuitively because it feels right, in the gut, without regard to the facts.)

Intellectual dishonesty is what political campaigners (and most people) engage in these days.  It's when a person knows but ignores the facts, and says or does something contrary to those facts in an attempt to convince people otherwise.  Let me use it in a sentence: "Every word that comes out of Michele Bachmann's mouth has the smell of intellectually dishonesty."

While this kind of thing obviously happens in politics, but just think about the day-to-day applications.  What workplace doesn't have one or more employees who aren't as sharp as their co-workers, but tries to cover up their shortcomings by skewing the truth, and parsing the blame onto others?  And don't get me started on the so-called 'financial advisors' who spend their days selling products to people who don't need them, in order to get a big commission.

Intellectual dishonesty is the same as lying, and it is currently pervasive in our society.

Dancing Like A Dad

What follows is the text of a September 27th article written for The Des Moines Register (specifically for its young professional supplement, Juice) by Mike Draper, the fairly well-known owner of the Des Moines t-shirt store, Raygun.  (I would link to it, but their web site only allows so many non-subscription visits.)  This should be required reading for every Iowan, and maybe everybody else:

Governor Terry Branstad would be a lot more likeable if he just never opened his mouth. Whenever he starts to give his opinion, I feel like a high schooler whose dad has decided to show off his dance moves in front of you and all your friends.

Most of his infractions have been pretty minor. There was his declaration this past May that companies “want to get out of California as quick as they can. We welcome them to Iowa.” Unfortunately, the shirts we’ve been saving for Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page have been gathering dust in our store since spring.

That was just after he called for a congressional investigation into the “pink slime smear campaign” as well as state laws against filming inside food factories. The last thing we want people to know is what they’re eating.

All TB has done, though, pales in comparison to his wall-to-wall B.S. editorial in The Des Moines Register earlier this month: “Obama has worn out his welcome.” It reads like something the Republican National Committee jotted down on a couple cocktail napkins, then attached our governor’s name. But if Branstad actually did write it (and more frightening, believes it), this isn’t your uncoordinated dad just dancing for all your friends, this is your dad stepping onto the “American Idol” stage.

“In Iowa,” Terry writes, “we know a thing or two about building success with our own two hands. ... We don’t look at our farms or our factories or our businesses and say, ‘Look what the government built.’ ”

Good god. He writes this from the center of a state that is up to its hog-nuts in federally subsidized agriculture, federally subsidized ethanol, and federally subsidized wind energy. He writes this within days of giving the largest economic subsidy in Iowa history to a foreign fertilizer production company. He writes this from a state whose governor declared he’d create 200,000 jobs (how a governor would do this without “picking winners or losers” needs to be explained to me). He writes this from a state whose commemorative quarter depicts a public school building painted by our most famous artist, Grant Wood, whose livelihood during the Depression was sustained by the Federal Art Project.

As a business owner who has never used a federally backed loan, who has never had a government contract, who has never really had any direct aid to speak of, I’d be in a good spot to claim that “I built it” if I wanted to sound like more of an a-hole than I already am. But I still can’t. After all, I was born into a stable home, in a stable state, educated K-12 in a public community school, graduated from college debt-free because of my parents, and opened a business in a building that was constructed with the help of Tax Increment Financing.

From direct help like the mortgage interest deduction to peripheral help like roads, everyone in America has taken some form of government assistance. Everyone wants government assistance cut, but not their government assistance. I can forgive 24-hour news commentators for making brash, incorrect declarations, because their news model is built on B.S. But I worry when our elected officials start to sound like our 24-hour news commentators.

At least Barack Obama is in luck: Branstad declares that he’s “not resting until Mitt Romney gets the votes to send him to the White House.” If his promise for Mitt gets as far as his promise to not pick winners and losers, Obama is in great shape.

Facebook For The Over 40 Crowd

I've been on Facebook (or as the original creators and I call it, 'The Facebook') long enough now to have a pretty good idea of what is worthwhile, and what is a waste of time, for anyone older than 40.

[As an aside, it seems to me that Facebook usage begins to noticeably drop for people somewhere in their 30s.  It figures that once people's lives mature, they should get busier working on the relationships with their children and their careers, and have less time for social media.  Maybe this will change some as the Facebook generation matures, and the mobile technology further integrates.  As for the under-30 crowd on Facebook, I have no idea what's worthwhile - other than spending less time on it.]

Here are a few effective uses of Facebook for the over-40 crowd:

• Posting pictures and status of out-of-the-ordinary events, like football games or vacations.  No need to post pictures of your children or grandchildren (see below), with the possible exception of newborns in the form of a birth announcement.  And it's OK to post pictures of significant others, for others to creep on them.

• Re-connecting with old high school and college friends, ones who you liked well enough, but not well enough that you cared to keep in touch.  This comes with the added benefit of finding out what they look like, who they've become, and comparing that with what you thought they'd be.

• Sharing links to other interesting web-based material, especially video links.  Let me repeat - INTERESTING material.  Note that anything related to animals, especially cats, is not interesting.  Also note that contrary to what some say, politically-related info is perfectly acceptable, especially to those over 40.  Cute pictures or videos of pets don't affect your future, but political ideology does.

Here are a few ineffective uses of Facebook for the over-40 crowd:

• Posting pictures and status of children, especially older children.  Unless it's a big event, like prom or graduation, no one actually cares what your teenager is doing, as long as they aren't doing something illegal in my neighborhood.

• Liking statuses.  If you're over 40 years old, unless it's family, or unless you also have a pithy comment to attach to a someone else's status, don't simply 'like' it.  That super-cheesy, and it implicitly means you dislike status which you don't 'like.'  What's the point?

• Invitations to events.  Thanks for not calling, but this isn't going to work either.

One other thing for us oldsters - if you aren't going to check your Facebook page at least once every few days, why have you bothered to start one?  If your answer is to creep on your kids or their friends, that isn't good enough.

Cyclones, Hawkeyes, Elephants, Donkeys

Over the past two weeks, the Republicans and Democrats wrapped up their respective national conventions.  These things have really changed over the years.  Everything is so scripted and made-for-TV now, there is no potential for any surprise.  And the broadcast networks only show the last hour of each nigh - back in the day, it was the only thing on TV the entire evening, and since there was no cable TV then, you were stuck.

Over the past week, another big event soaked up media time in Iowa.  Specifically, the Iowa - Iowa State football game.  These games have also changed a lot over the years.  In the '80s and '90s, Iowa would routinely win big.  Now the game is more competitive, with Iowa State winning the last two, and 9 of the last 15.

Now, why write about these seemingly different things?  What do these events have in common?  Plenty:

• Each party/team has some passionate supporters.  People who will vocally and monetarily back their party/team regardless of how good the actual product is.

• Each party/team has some extremist supporters.  People who will take whatever action necessary they believe will help their party/team to win, including lies and even violence.

• Each event rarely lives up to the hype.  They are small parts of a longer effort to achieve a larger goal, and the event itself is forgotten in a few months or weeks.

Oh, and one more:  There is lots of partying before and during each event.

From Dope To Dopey

A new study released this week concluded that teens who routinely smoke marijuana risk a long-term drop in their IQ.  The study drew on survey data from more than 1,000 people in New Zealand.  (The study did not say why Kiwis were chosen for the study; maybe all of the Amsterdam folks were sleeping it off.)

If one reads the headlines on this study, the quick and easy takeaway is that smoking pot makes you dumber.  Therefore, it's bad for you, and young people should not smoke it.

Fine...but why be so limiting?  The whole truth is, teens would be adversely affected by using ANY mind-altering substances.

In America, and I suspect in New Zealand, wouldn't the outcome be the same if youngsters drank alcohol?  Or how about if they consistently took anti-anxiety or anti-depression medication?  Of course, the answer is yes, a conclusion I reached without using one taxpayer dime to study.

Yet it is completely legal (and prevalent) in this country for kids to take prescription medications that affect brain cells.  And while it is illegal for teens to buy / sell / drink alcohol in the U.S., they don't get thrown into jail if they do it, because it's socially acceptable and tolerated.

This is where the anti-marijuana folks get it all wrong.  Critical thinkers - like me! - aren't pro-pot; we're pro-decriminalizing pot.  We know from a combination of experience and god-given common sense that it isn't any worse, and maybe better for you, than the other legalized mind-altering substances I've mentioned.

Throw in how marijuana decriminalization will save billions in law enforcement, and help the economy in other ways (and I'm not just talking about Doritos consumption), and even a 'dumb' pot smoker can tell you this is a 'no-brainer.'

It's Not About The Bike

I was thinking the same thing so just click here.

Best Song Lyrics (Part X)

You may have noticed that in the past IX installments of this recurring series, I haven't included anyone from the hip-hop genre.  Nor will I this time.

It isn't that there aren't some candidates.  It's that in order to be considered a great lyricist to me, the songs have to be able to span generations.  Hip-hip simply hasn't been around long enough to qualify.

I thought about this generation span the other day when I heard some teens singing along to James Taylor's recording of You've Got A Friend.  I don't know where they learned it, although I sincerely doubt it came from watching another episode of Glee.  (The one and only one redeeming thing about that show is, it does occasionally bring my generation's music to a younger crowd.)

James Taylor not only has great lyrical music, but he still has an incredible mellow-sounding voice that makes his music even better.  While he has many classics, I prefer the 1970 song Fire And Rain.  While it may seem the song is all about losing a loved one, in fact these last two verses allude to his struggles with depression and addiction:

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand, and I won't make it any other way.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you again.

Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line, to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again.

Breaking Down the Summer Olympics

There are 36 Summer Olympic sports with at total of around 300 events.  So for example, tennis is 1 sport, but with 5 events - men's and women's singles and doubles, plus mixed doubles.

Over the past two weeks, I've been able to watch, via TV or computer, at least parts of every one of these so-called 'sports.'  Here are my comments on all of them:

Archery - modestly interesting, mostly because my daughter's high school classmate is an Olympic athlete in this category.

Athletics (Track & Field) - I would not walk across the street to see a high school or college track meet, but for the Olympics, I'll make an exception.  Watching Usain Bolt both on and off the track was worth it alone.  And seeing Oscar Pistorius, the South African runner on artificial legs, was very cool.

Badminton - I played this in a college class and was pretty good at it, so it was kind of interesting to watch the pros.  Until some of them decided to intentionally lose.

Basketball - Great combination: The probably the most entertaining Olympic sport to watch, with the best U.S. professional players together on the same team.

Beach Volleyball - Looked like a fun venue to be at in person, but let's get real, without the American teams, it would not have been that entertaining to watch.

Boxing - Growing up, in the 70s, this was one of the showcase events.  Now, because the sport of boxing in this country has been run into the ground, nobody wants to watch it anymore.

Canoe Slalom - Just couldn't get into it.  Can anyone name the best canoe/kayaker of all-time?  If so, you have too much spare time.

Canoe Sprint - Looked like a very modernized Lewis & Clark expedition down a man-made waterway, except more aerobic.

Cycling BMX - Belongs in the X-Games, not the Olympic Games.

Cycling Mountain Bike - Moderately interesting, although I felt the course should have had more obstacles.

Cycling Road - I appreciated it as a cyclist, but it was anti-climatic coming on the heels of the Tour de France.

Cycling Track - The indoor velodrome races were kind of cool, and had some drama, not just because the bikes had no gears or brakes.

Diving - I tweeted about this more than once:  Why did diving get so much prime time TV exposure?  It's boring, and it's not like most Americans are divers.  (On that basis, we should have seen more table tennis.)  Plus, what makes a person become a synchronized diver?  As one blogger wrote, could they not stand the crushing loneliness of being more than three meters from another diver?.

Equestrian - Dressage is goofy, but the jumping is kind of interesting.  The medals should go to the horses for what they do, not the riders

Fencing - Near as I can tell, you need to shout and act like you made contact on each thrust, lest the judges think you didn't win the point.  If they used actual sabres and swords, there would be less confusion about that.

Football (Soccer) - Just like regular soccer, meaning mostly boring, and made moreso that way since the U.S. men didn't even qualify.  But it was fun to watch the U.S. women win, right up until their post-gold medal media interviews, when they couldn't seem to stop talking about how great they were.

Gymnastics Artistic - Don't really mind watching it.  Pound for pound, no one is stronger than men or women gymnasts.  Also, 'local' angle since gold-medalist Gabby Douglas trains in West Des Moines at a complex close to my office.  But would someone also please give the U.S. women some media training?  If I hear another one of those teens use the word "definitely" in a sentence, I'm going to puke.

Gymnastics Rhythmic - Strangely compelling to see the flexibility and balance.  What they do with balls and hoops might be illegal in many bible belt states.

Handball - Not handball, TEAM handball.  Odd, but watchable.  The U.S. would dominate this sport, if we cared about it, which we don't.

Hockey (Field Hockey) - Seems like it should have been more entertaining to watch, like ice hockey, but it was more like soccer, which is to say kind of boring.  Maybe it's because I never quite understood all of the rules.

Judo - See taekwondo.

Modern Pentathlon - Did you even know about this?  A one-day event on the last day of the Olympics, consisting of fencing, swimming, horse riding, shooting and running.  Only medieval knights apply.

Rowing - The sport was OK, but the venue was better in how it allowed people on bicycles to ride alongside as the competition occurred. (Same as canoe sprint.)

Sailing - The only drama comes before the race even starts, when the boats jockey for position at the start.  Otherwise, it's like watching paint dry.

Shooting - Kind of alarming to think people can shoot moving targets that fast.  For sport.

Swimming - Don't mind watching it, but all of the events tend to dilute interest.  Also, please stop showing me Michael Phelps, and Michael Phelps' mom.

Synchronized Swimming - Sort of mesmerizing to watch, like a kaleidoscope, but in the end, it's synchronized swimming.

Table Tennis - Crazy how good these folks are at ping-pong, but could today's players beat the best of all-time, Forrest Gump?

Taekwondo - See judo.

Tennis - How many more times will Wimbledon be held this year?

Trampoline - Not a sport.  Cirque do Soleil is calling on line 1.

Triathlon - Fits the 'faster/higher/stronger' theme of the Olympics better than any other event.  From a spectator standpoint, it just takes too long from start to finish.

Volleyball - I get the sport, and the toughness needed to play it at the Olympic level.  I don't get all of the hugging and touching after every single point.

Water Polo - Enjoyed watching both men and women, wondering how hard it must be to swim or tread water for so long.  But it was a little unsettling to see so many larger women in thong-ish one-piece suits.  And as one media outlet said, the headgear makes them look like aquatic teletubbies.

Weightlifting - Would have been totally forgettable if not for the dude who dropped the bar on his head, and somehow didn't get injured.

Wrestling - On the down side, not as good to watch as college or even pro wrestling.  On the plus side, they allow women to compete without controversy.

Looking forward to golf in 2016!

You Are Not Well At Grammar

Not much time to write this week, so I'm going to pass along an excerpt from a terrific blog post I read on grammar usage by a blogger named Kyle Wiens:

If you think an apostrophe was one of the 12 disciples of Jesus, you will never work for me. If you think a semicolon is a regular colon with an identity crisis, I will not hire you. If you scatter commas into a sentence with all the discrimination of a shotgun, you might make it to the foyer before we politely escort you from the building.

Some might call my approach to grammar extreme, but I prefer Lynne Truss's more cuddly phraseology: I am a grammar "stickler." And, like Truss — author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves — I have a "zero tolerance approach" to grammar mistakes that make people look stupid.

Now, Truss and I disagree on what it means to have "zero tolerance." She thinks that people who mix up their itses "deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave," while I just think they deserve to be passed over for a job — even if they are otherwise qualified for the position.

Everyone who applies for a position my company takes a mandatory grammar test. Extenuating circumstances aside (dyslexia, English language learners, etc.), if job hopefuls can't distinguish between "to" and "too," their applications go into the bin.

Good grammar is credibility, especially on the internet. In blog posts, on Facebook statuses, in e-mails, and on company websites, your words are all you have. They are a projection of you in your physical absence. And, for better or worse, people judge you if you can't tell the difference between their, there, and they're.

On the face of it, my zero tolerance approach to grammar errors might seem a little unfair. After all, grammar has nothing to do with job performance, or creativity, or intelligence, right?

Wrong. If it takes someone more than 20 years to notice how to properly use "it's," then that's not a learning curve I'm comfortable with. So, even in this hyper-competitive market, I will pass on a great programmer who cannot write.

Grammar signifies more than just a person's ability to remember high school English. I've found that people who make fewer mistakes on a grammar test also make fewer mistakes when they are doing something completely unrelated to writing — like stocking shelves or labeling parts.

I hire people who care about those details. Applicants who don't think writing is important are likely to think lots of other (important) things also aren't important. And I guarantee that even if other companies aren't issuing grammar tests, they pay attention to sloppy mistakes on résumés. After all, sloppy is as sloppy does.

That's why I grammar test people who walk in the door looking for a job. Grammar is my litmus test. All applicants say they're detail-oriented; I just make my employees prove it.

Here's What Is The Matter With People

Lately I've been boiling down my frustration with the actions of others through a simple statement of, "What's the matter with people?"

I've finally decided that, for the betterment of humanity, I will try to answer this question.  I think it comes down to three overarching items:

1)  People want attention.  It doesn't even matter whether it's for good or bad reasons, as long as those who seek attention get it.  This is both the cause and effect of reality television.  It's bad enough that people want to make their entire lives a show for the public, but then that's further encouraged by compensating (and even making celebrities out of) people for their asinine behavior.

2)  People are stupid.  I wrote about this a few years ago, and it's only gotten worse.  Most people will believe anything they read or hear.  They have no filter, no ability to discern whether something passes the 'smell' test.  The internet / social media make this problem worse, because people are constantly relying on it for all of their information.  If the United States could devise a way to tax anyone who forwards an electronic message that has little or no basis in fact, we would quickly solve our deficit problem.

3)  People are slackers.  The children and grandchildren of the 'greatest generation' are not nearly as motivated as their ancestors.  It seems that for every two Americans who try to make an honest living, there is one who doesn't give a damn.  Sometimes to avoid life, that one will use extreme measures, e.g. unqualified government assistance, illegal activity, or even living with their too-coddling parents, to avoid getting a real job.  On the minimally plus side, I always say that we need people in the service industry too, to take care of me when I'm on vacation.

So that's what's the matter with people.  Now that I've provided the answers, someone please come up with the solutions.

This Year On RAGBRAI (2012)

Cycled the first leg of the 40th Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa this week.  It went through my hometown as well as a few other towns I spent a lot of time in growing up, so there was extra interest for me.  Here are this year's comments, to extend what I wrote in 2011 and 2010 :

* In the past, I've always ridden in the middle or front-half of the ride, meaning an equal amount of riders were behind me and in front of me.  I've always wondered if I was missing something wild by doing that.  After all, the old saying is that RAGBRAI is like a mullet - business in the front, party in the back!

This year it so happened that I stayed well to the back of the ride, and it turns out you miss MORE that way.  Some of the roadside stands that looked like fun places to stop were getting ready to shut down, and the riders weren't that much fun to talk with, because they were all just trying to survive the heat/ride. (That's one reason they were in the back.)  You want to be around as many people as possible during the ride and every stop within the ride, that's the best way to enjoy it.

* A couple of new team names that caught my eye were take-offs of the LiveStrong organization.  They were BeerStrong, and LiverStrong.  I'm not sure it's good form to use the name of a cancer-fighting organization to promote heavy drinking.

* A lot of folks talk about drinking alcohol on RAGBRAI.  A lot of folks actually do it.  But I think more folks talk about it than do it, especially on the hottest day in Iowa since 1988.  The most overheard, overused phrase on RAGBRAI is, "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning."  Most of them mean water.

* Ratio of fit, 20-something girls to overweight, 50+ year old men on the ride:  1-to-100.

RAGBRAI XL.  A little bit different than the RAGBRAI III I rode on in 1975.

The Less You Give, The More You Receive

On July 1, 2012, group retirement plan service providers are required by law to more fully disclose their fees.  These long-awaited federal regulations are primarily focused on 401(k) plans, to give both participants and sponsoring employers a more transparent view of the fees they are paying.

Why is this important?  Because whether you’re a 401(k) plan participant or not, low fees are at the heart of a good investment outcome for any portfolio.

According to a 2010 Morningstar study ¹ that encompassed a 5-year look-back period, low-cost funds categorically outperformed high-cost funds.  In fact, in every asset class over every time period, the least costly quintile of mutual funds produced higher total returns than the most expensive quintile.

Morningstar went so far as to say that expense ratios were the most dependable predictor of performance.  “Investors should make expense ratios a primary test in fund selection,” the study concluded.  “If there’s anything in the whole world of mutual funds that you can take to the bank, it’s that expense ratios help you make a better decision.”

As with 401(k) plans, the only way you can know whether your investment fees are low is to determine what those fees are, and how they compare with others.  If you have any doubt, contact someone who can help.

The Taxpayer Warrior Strikes Again

On July 2nd, The Des Moines Register smartly published another letter to the editor I sent them.  It went like this:

So Polk County supervisors are going to start paying part of their health insurance for the first time ever, effective July 1? It sounds like a great victory for taxpayers – until you consider it’s expected to save less than $3,000 annually.

In fact, those affected will only being paying between $15 and $25 per month for insurance premiums. While that’s more than zero, it’s hundreds of dollars less per month than most private sector employees pay.

Regardless, Supervisors Chairwoman Angela Connolly crowed, “We all have to pay our fair share in terms of insurance costs.” This is just another example of how far out of touch elected officials are with their constituents, and with the economy.

This took me all of 15 minutes to write and email to them, but I can confirm that I got a lot more than 15 minutes of enjoyment out of embarrassing a bunch of wasteful politicians!

These People Are Not Well

It's past time to add a few new members to my list of people who are Whacked Out In The Head (WOITH).

I haven't even mentioned this acronym for over six months, the last time when I was handicapping the field of Republican presidential nominees.

Based on her campaign after I wrote that, I'm elevating Michele Bachmann to full WOITH status.  Just like WOITH members Steve King and Bob Vander Plaats, if you pulled back her skin I'm pretty certain there's an alien creature underneath.

I'm at least going to add a politician to the WOITH list while I'm on the topic. Hmmm, so many to choose from...Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell is certainly deserving, but it has to be...my own State Senator, Brad Zaun.  Not only has he never met a social conservative issue he didn't like, but he also took on the duty of campaign manager for Bachmann when fellow WOITH member Kent Sorenson quit.  It couldn't be more perfectly symmetrical than that.

To save time, I'm just going to list my new WOITH members with no explanation.  If you don't know why they belong, I suggest you Google them:

Charlie Sheen (obvious and belated omission until now)

Jerry Sandusky

Anyone with a reality show on MTV

The entire Kardashian family

And as an honorary member, I also want to include the guy down my street who put a $60,000 house on a $30,000 lot.

Citizens Un-united

A few months ago, many beef-industry-reliant states got into a tizzy over media reports about 'pink slime.' This is in fact a derogatory name for a beef filler / by-product that's found in practically every package of ground beef.  (The beef industry prefers the name "lean finely textured beef.")

Anyway, the governors of these states held a press conference at a processing plant to complain about the way this filler was being characterized.  At this made-for-TV event, the mainstream media reporter who gave the 'pink slime' a national spotlight asked Iowa's governor a question - did his interest in this issue also stem from the fact the beef processor was one of his biggest political donors?

Of course, the governor responded with righteous indignation that someone would even think there was a connection.  Many others, including my own friends and acquaintances, agreed it was a cheap shot question from a self-aggrandizing reporter.

Hold on, now.  While this 'pink slime' deal was very overblown and a bit offensive, that question was not.  If politicians are going to accept political donations, they are fair game to be criticized when they appear to do favors for those donors, rightly or wrongly.  It doesn't matter if they actually happen to believe what they're saying, the appearance of impropriety is there.

Of course, this is just a microcosm of the current state of affairs in this country when it comes to money and politics.  Thanks to the Citizens United decision, money has never had a bigger influence in who gets what in the USA, and politicians have never been more brazen about doing favors for those who provide them with financial backing.

Senator John McCain, one of the few people who still can pass as a moderate Republican and a long-time voice for campaign finance reform, recently said about Citizens United, "There will be scandals associated with the worst decision of the United States Supreme Court in the 21st century.”  Will be?  It's been happening since the day the decision was made.

Even before that decision, that system was still broken.  PACs/SuperPACs and lobbyists have always had too much influence, mostly due to the access their money buys them.  I used to work for a large trade association, and it was no secret how this worked.  When raising money for the PAC, they openly stated  that money was how the game was played, and they needed to be a player.

Oh, but they didn't say that publicly.  Instead they had the gall to quote Thomas Jefferson, who once said, "We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.”  As if that meant Jefferson would support a PAC!  (Note - Thomas Jefferson also said, "The end of democracy will occur when government falls into the hands of lending institutions and moneyed incorporations."  Why didn't that trade association use that quote?  D-bags.)

What planet are elected officials on when they allow themselves to accept money from people and especially from corporations, yet don't think constituents or the media should question them about the consequences of that relationship?  It's legal bribery, with politicians who don't want to change it and an electorate that feels powerless to change it.

Golf Is Good

The U.S. Open Golf Championship is this weekend.  As a golfer, this is pretty much a must-see-TV event me, as is The Masters and the other so-called 'major' tournaments.

That surely sounds incredibly boring to those who don't care about golf.  Too bad for them.  The fact is, people of all ages who don't care about it are missing out, big time.

Let's just summarize a few of the reasons that golf is the greatest sport ever invented:

• It's a life-long sport.  It can be played at any age, and you don't need to be in peak physical condition to enjoy playing it.  Even older and disabled people can play it, because it doesn't require absolute physical strength and agility (although that helps).

• It's never the same.  Unlike the uniform conditions for indoor sports, in golf every hole on every course is different, and the weather elements are always a factor.

• It's got competitive equilibrium.  With its handicap, slope, and course rating systems, any two people can play on any given course in an even game.  No other sport can consistently and accurately do this, which is totally awesome!

• It's incredibly challenging, requiring as much mental as physical skill.  But still so damn much fun.

And lastly.....Caddyshack!

Taxpayer Funded iPads For Everyone - Update

The good news is, my Des Moines Register letter to the editor on this topic was published today.  The bad news is, they published it in the local 'Community' section of the paper rather than the statewide edition.  So instead of thousands reading it, only hundreds will.

Oh well, as long as it exposes the Johnston Community School District as out of touch with the taxpayer, like most governmental / nonprofit entities, it isn't all bad.

Profiting In The Nonprofit World

I've blogged before about the scandals in the nonprofit world, especially when it comes to wasting taxpayer money.  (In comparison, nonprofits like charities or membership organizations focus more narrowly on only fleecing those who contribute to them.)

But when is comes to school districts, this is getting ridiculous.

In this week's Des Moines Register, you would have counted no less than four different stories of scandals, waste, nepotism, and/or outright embezzlement at four different school districts.  From superintendents to clerks, everybody seems to be working it.

The "it" is the simple knowledge that there is very little accountability or oversight in the nonprofit organizational model.  The "it" is the lack of competition and incentive that would make employees and boards pay more attention to detail.  The "it" is understanding that no matter how bad its behavior, a nearly unlimited funding stream from taxpayers will keep the entity operating.

Let's turn public schooling over to the for-profit world.  It's a bad idea who's time has come.

Taxpayer-Funded iPads For Everyone!

The following is both the truth, and a letter to the editor I sent to the Des Moines Register this weekend:

In a recent 5-1 vote, the Johnston School Board agreed to spend $1.4 million to purchase 1,600 iPads, enough for each high school student and teacher.

As a Johnston school district taxpayer, I say why stop there?  If the board thinks iPads are that important to learning, let’s increase property taxes so we can equip every middle and elementary school student and teacher with an iPad.

And if they’re really serious about this learning thing, let’s increase taxes even more so we can get an iPad in the hands every parent of every Johnston Community School District student.  After all, parents need help with their lifelong learning, too!

It sure is good to know our school board isn’t concerned about there not being one shred of evidence that student achievement is correlated to using an iPad, a technology that’s only two years old.  Only silly people without iPads probably think that way.

Buffett's Words Of Wisdom

On May 7, 2012, CNBC conducted a wide-ranging interview with legendary investor Warren Buffett.  Below are 5 brief excerpts from that interview.  (Glad to see he agrees with me!)

BUFFETT ON CASH:  “I think cash is probably as risky an asset as you can own over time.  You're not taking risk off when you go into cash.  You are going into something that is sure to decline in purchasing power over time.  So that is the biggest risk I know is to own cash.”

BUFFETT ON HYPE:  “Retail investors should not pay any attention to the day's news.  If they're paying attention to the day's news and they're trying to buy and sell stocks based on the day's news, they're never going to be successful investors.  The idea is to buy a good business.  I mean, it's the same way as if you went out to buy a business.  You'd look around for a company, some little business that had good prospects over time, had decent and honest management and where the price made sense.”

BUFFETT ON STOCKS:  “I think equities are very attractive for the long term.  And they may get more attractive next week or next month.  But it's the same thing I said in October of 2008.  I didn't know where bottoms were going to be or where they were going to be in a year.  But equities, good producing businesses are a great thing to own over time, and they will be a great thing to own for the next 100 years.  But who knows whether they go up or down in price next week.”

BUFFETT ON TRADING:  “I'm not a fan of active trading of any kind.  I don't know how to make money trading actively.  Maybe if I did, I wouldn't be so negative on it.  As to the volume, though, there's still way too much volume in the market.  I mean, the idea that the ownership of a company should turn over a hundred percent in a year, that is not the way people behave with apartment houses, it's not the way they behave with farmland.  But they have this notion in stocks that they ought to do something every day.  The best thing to do with stock is buy stock with a good company and don't look at the price for five years or something.”

BUFFETT ON WHAT TO BUY:  “The greatest asset to own is your own abilities. I mean, no matter what happens in the economy or with currency, if you develop your own talents – I tell the college students that the best thing to have is to develop your own talents.  The second best thing is to buy into other people's talents.  You know, here's Coca-Cola, and people are going to be drinking it 10 years or 50 years from now, and they're going to be drinking more of it, and they'll make more money.  So I don't have any idea what Coca-Cola stock is going to do next week or next month or next year, but I'm pretty darn sure where the company will be in 10 or 20 years.  And people beat themselves in the stock market.  The stock market, literally, in the 20th century, went from 66 on the Dow to 11,400.  And you'd said, `How could anybody not have a good experience?'  But millions of people don't because they get excited at the wrong time, and they get depressed at the wrong time.  So you've got to put your emotions aside, you've got to give up the idea that you can decide when to buy stocks and when to sell stocks.  The time to buy stocks is consistently over time.”

Dear Graduating Class of 2012

To High School Graduates of 2012:

Congratulations on what is probably the greatest accomplishment of your life so far. Now the bad news - it doesn't really matter.

If you are/were a slacker up to now, you probably feel like you got over, and in some sense that's true.  The thing of it is, you'd have to be a complete moron, or maybe a criminal, not to get a diploma with the sorry state of public schooling these days. Plus, now you're just going to continue being a slacker, so what did you really get over on? But thank you for your lack of effort anyway, because I'm always going to need people willing and only able to work in the service industry to take care of me.

If you are/were not a slacker up to now, good for you, it might have helped you get a college scholarship and made your family proud.  Unfortunately, as of this moment, you are no farther ahead in life than the slacker to which I just referred.  All that work took you to the same piece of paper that the lazy students got.  Sucks, doesn't it? The good news is, you have a better future ahead, and from here you are going to very quickly improve your chances of future prosperity over the slacker.

To College Graduates of 2012:

Congratulations on what is probably the greatest accomplishment of your life so far. Now the bad news - it's time to grow up.

What the hell is the matter with your generation?  Not so long ago, going to college meant you had four years to develop a certain set of intellectual skills, and upon your graduation you already had a job and/or post-graduate school lined up to begin a couple of weeks later.  Now more often than not, you take more than four years to get an undergraduate degree, and you have a 'now what?' look on your face as you walk across the stage, and you move back home.

Gimme a break.  What were you doing during your last year of college?  You had tons of time to complete or apply for internships, and interview for and land an actual job.  I don't know you, but I know the probability is high that you didn't put a whole lot of time into it.

And don't give me the old 'tough job market' excuses.  I know, I know, the Great Recession is making it tough on college graduates - that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.  It means you need to try harder.

Also, try expanding your job horizons already.  It's a big country out there, you don't need to limit your search to the city/state in which you grew up.  This may come as a surprise to you, but that was kind of part of going to college, realizing it's a big world of other people and opportunities out there.

I don't entirely blame you.  I also blame your parents.  Apparently, they want you to have an option that they didn't have, meaning moving back home and allowing you to indefinitely leech off of them.  Fortunately for you, my generation has decided they would rather be your adult friends instead of being your parents.

It's hard not to take advantage of this invitation to slacker-ville, no doubt.  Just be accountable, OK?  If you have a new degree but no job, it's probably your fault.  Your parents want you succeed, and they may give you a place to avoid the big, bad world for a while, but don't get used to taking advantage of it.

Which brings me to my quick and opposite advice:  It's a big, bad world out there. Get used to it.

Berky Meeting Nuggets 2012

Just made my annual trek to Omaha to attend the Berkshire Hathaway annual shareholders meeting.  It may sound crazy, listening to Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger answer questions for five hours, but for me it's a philosophical tune-up not only from an investment perspective, but also from an economic, political, intellectual, and social standpoint.

Similar to last year, here's a summary of what I consider a few highlights of this year's meeting:

On the company movie and celebrity sightings:  Board member Bill Gates was there, as was U2 lead singer Bono.  The movie included skits with Jimmy Buffett and the cast of Glee.

On Buffett's health:  Buffett said he feels terrific.  Munger jokingly (as usual) said he resents all of the attention Buffett has been getting after his recent Stage 1 prostate cancer diagnosis - Munger claimed he probably has as much prostate cancer, he just never gets tested for it!

On energy:  While natural gas prices are at historically now levels due to increased supply, Munger said it was idiotic to be extracting so much of that finite resource from the earth.  He said we should be using other sources that were more abundant.  He also said the energy independence is one of the stupidest things he'd ever heard of - we should be importing and using up other countries' resources and keeping ours as a reserve.  Had we adopted this philosophy decades ago we'd be a lot better off now.

On SuperPACs:  Buffett noted he could probably advance his political causes through SuperPAC donations, but he would never do that.  Both he and Munger agreed the Citizens United ruling was bad for the country, allowing a few wealthy folks to have undo influence.  And Buffett flat-out said he didn't want to see democracy go in that direction.

On the so-called Buffett Rule on taxing the very rich:  Buffett reminded everyone he proposal isn't an attempt to balance the budget, but simple a matter of tax fairness to make sure lower income people don't pay a rate higher than the rich.  He said the 400 highest income people in the U.S. averaged $250 million per year, and of those, 140 or so paid taxes of 15% or less.  So the Buffett Rule wouldn't even impact most of the super-rich, and those it would impact would be just fine.  And yes, it would also raise a few billion per year of tax revenue.

On the so-called Buffett Rule #2:  A question from a shareholder's claims his 84-year old father would invest in Berky if it were not for Buffett's tax philosophy. Among other things, Buffett said it sounded like the guy ought to invest in Fox!

Danger in Numbers

The following is taken directly from an April 18, 2012 email to parents of students at West Des Moines Valley Southwoods Freshman High School:

Dear VSW Parents/Guardians:

At a community meeting on Monday evening, it was suggested that building principals share the following information from the WDM Substance Abuse Coalition about April 20th with our parents:

4:20 or 4/20 (pronounced four-twenty) is a term used as a discreet way to refer to the consumption of marijuana and a way to identify oneself with the drug subculture. Marijuana users observe 4:20 as a time to smoke together and April 20 has become a counterculture holiday, where people gather to celebrate and consume marijuana.

4:20 has become a code for a time to get high, a symbol of marijuana and its culture. Teenagers believe they can talk about getting high in front of their parents without them knowing by using the phrase 4:20. Fortunately, your teenager will not have that option. April 20 events are international and 4:20 has become a worldwide "burn time." For parents, it's a red flag, a warning sign that your teenager may be into something that could harm their future. When you see the symbol 4:20 or your child wearing excessive green clothing on April 20, beware of what it represents. April 20 has now become National Pot Smokers Day.  Our pop culture is pro-marijuana, as evidenced by the success of movies and celebrities who flaunt their use. This makes it more difficult for parents to get anti-drug messages across to kids. Use 4:20 as your opportunity to get a dialogue going about drugs, and not just marijuana.

Isn't that awesome/crazy/stupid!  When I read this, I knew immediately there was a high (no pun intended) probability I would blog about it.

This email is asinine for a lot of reasons, many of which I've written about before.  (Just click on the labels.)  These reasons can be put into two main categories:

1) School administrators who think it's their job to govern kids 24/7.  Like I've said before, what happens outside of school or school functions is the responsibility of parents.  If the parents choose not to raise their children the 'right' way, that doesn't make school administrators their surrogate.

Trying to educate parents on pop culture like this is nothing more than a thinly-veiled attempt to do a parent's job.  I love how the author notes at the beginning that "it was suggested that building principals" share this information.  Who suggested it, one of the principals?  Had to be I guess, because if a parent knew about four-twenty, they'd already have a grip on communicating about it.

2) People who think any suggestion of marijuana means the worst.  It's a "warning sign" if your kid wears "excessive green clothing" on 4/20?  A warning sign of what, that they follow pop culture or that they must be a pothead?  You mean like if a girl wears a short skirt she must be a slut, or if a boy wears a sideways cap he must be a gang member?

And how about the statement that "our pop culture is pro-marijuana"?  I see a helluva lot of pop culture that "flaunts" drinking too much, or using violence, but smoking pot?  Not so much.  Regardless, smoking pot would be less harmful than either of those other two things, but our society is much too repressed to admit that!

So kudos to you, Valley Southwoods Freshman High School administrators, for drawing attention to this falsely dangerous calendar date.  You've truly earned the ridicule that the students are going to point in your direction on four-twenty.

School's In...For...Summer!

This week the Iowa legislature got its shorts in a bunch over the earliest date schools should be able to begin their school year.  It's been fun to watch.

For many years, Iowa law has mandated that elementary and high schools are not to begin classes prior to September 1st.  However, schools can (and do) apply to have that mandate waived, which it always is.  Consequently, many schools in Iowa have begun to start within the first half of August, and all before September 1st.

No problem - local control, everybody's happy, right?

Enter the special interest groups, namely the tourism lobby.  Schools are now starting so early that they conflict with family vacations, and more specifically, with the Iowa State Fair.  The Fair and the tourism industry want the starting date mandate enforced.

The debate between local control and tourism quickly deteriorated into dumb versus dumber arguments.  If you support tourism, you're accused of being against education.  If you support local control, you're accused of being against common sense.

Of course, the goofy teachers' lobby had to get involved, letting everyone know their precious Spring Break may have to be eliminated if schools have to start later.  Do they not realize that outside of central Iowa, most school districts don't even have a Spring Break?  And how is a Spring Break good for education?

In the end, a compromise bill has been crafted to mandate that schools not begin classes prior to the last Monday in August.  So the debate ends with all parties missing the obvious answer - we should be looking at year-around school.

This is the 21st century, with air conditioning and technology.  It's time to accept that kids don't need all summer off.

Good for education?  Yes.  Good for tourism?  Sure.  Good for teachers?  Talk to the hand.

Remember December

Remember December?  It was only a few months ago.  Equity markets had just finished a volatile and generally poor year.  European nations were arguing over how to deal with a mountain of sovereign debt, while the rest of the world fretted over how that debt would affect global markets.

Most market analysts expected further tough times in early 2012. Financial magazine Barron's warned, "For investors frightened by the stock market's volatility in the past six months and tired of worrying about places in Europe once given little thought, 2012 promises scant comfort—at least in the first half."

As an investor, if you had taken that advice and left the stock market, you would have just missed one of the best short‐term equity rallies in recent history. The S&P 500 index was up 12% in the first quarter of 2012, its biggest first‐quarter percentage gain since 1998.  Broader equity market benchmarks also made record or near‐record quarterly gains.

Why the turnaround in markets so far in 2012?  The primary drivers have been signs of economic stabilization in Europe, along with signs of economic recovery in the U.S.  But the most important thing to know is that a few months ago, virtually no one predicted either of those to happen.

This brings me back to my oft‐repeated investment philosophy:  No one knows how markets will perform going forward, because that requires an ability to accurately predict unforeseen events.  Since the future is unknown, it’s best to maintain your pre‐determined asset allocation, in the most diversified and lowest cost manner available.

Market discipline works both ways, of course.  Just as it was wrong to assume the market pessimism of last year would continue into early 2012, it would not be prudent to anticipate that the rest of this year will resemble the first three months.

You can always guess, of course, but experience reveals that isn't a very good investment strategy.   Remember December?

Get A (Private Industry) Job!

A recent story on 60 Minutes covered the plight of former space shuttle employees in Breverd County, Florida, home of the Kennedy Space Center.  In short, the end of the shuttle program has led to severe unemployment and the subsequent closing of many local businesses.

The people interviewed are angry and feel betrayed because the government led them to believe a replacement space program, called Constellation, would allow them to keep jobs.  The economy and budget cuts kept that from happening.

There is one thing these folks are having trouble understanding - Americans like me don't care about their feelings!

Are you kidding me?  The 7,000 (yes, 7,000) people employed by NASA's shuttle program, and the businesses they patronized, have sucked at the taxpayers' teat for the better part of three decades.  They made good wages with fantastic federal benefits.  And yes, I'm sure most of them were good civil servants.

Unfortunately, it didn't occur to those employees, nor to the businesses around them, that Uncle Sam might not always need them.  How did they not see this coming?  Everyone has known for years that the shuttle program was going to be shut down, and they made no contingency plans?

Yes I know, they were counting on the Constellation program.  Well, let me introduce you to a million other people who also lost their private employment jobs when the economy went south in 2008.  I don't see them sitting around hoping for the government to create other jobs in their county.  (Check that, thousands of them are sitting around collecting benefits from me.)

Just because these folks were denial doesn't mean anyone should feel sorry for them.  They had plenty of time to learn another trade, or revamp their business.  And if they didn't then, they do now.

I for one am glad to see that the flow of dollars from my pocket to theirs has stopped, during a time when the U.S. is so far in debt that it has rightfully contracted its space exploration program.

The Ten, Make That Nine, Habits of Very Organized People. Make That Ten.

Just finished reading Steve Martin's new book, The Ten, Make That Nine, Habits of Very Organized People.  Make That Ten.  Just that title should be enough to make you laugh and want to read it.

If the title isn't enough, then how about this:  It's a book of some of his tweets over the past year, and it takes less than an hour to read.

Anyone who follows him on Twitter know his tweets usually come in bunches, over the course of a day, typically on a single event or topic.  You don't need to be a lifelong Steve Martin fan like me in order to appreciate how he uses social media for both his own enjoyment, and the enjoyment of others.

Here's an example of a stream of his Tweets from the book, about the iPhone:

"A watched iPhone never syncs."

"My iPhone is now lip-syncing."

"iPhone just synced perfectly with toaster. All is well."

"iPhone and computer heading off to hotel spa for leisurely afernoon sync. Back in 4 hours, they said."

"iPhone and computer came back from spa with DIFFERENCT DONNECTOR CORD. Is something going on?"

Now that's tweet comedy!

How March Madness Used To Be

Some of my early memories of the NCAA basketball tournament, and college basketball in general, circa late 1970s:

*Only 40 teams - 8 first-round games, with the winners joining 24 others in the round of 32.  Went to 48 teams soon after.  (Then 64, 68...)

*Only one TV network showing games - and it was NBC.  There was no such thing as cable or satellite TV, come on!

*No national TV for the early round games, nor the elite eight games.  Hell, it wasn't even called the elite eight then, it was called the 'quarterfinal round' if you can believe that.

*No shot clock; no three-point line.

*Duke went to the Final Four in 1978, and no one knew who they were.

*Really long socks.  Really short shorts.  Really long hair.

*The NCAA had just started to allow dunking.  It had been a techincal foul.  I am not making this up.

*Magic v. Bird, 1979 championship game, the most watched one ever.  Real time: As hyped as it might have been then, nobody really knew if either of them would be a good professional player.

Taxpayers Win = Taxpayers Loss

Time for another story about taxpayers getting the shaft.

Last week the Iowa Supreme Court ruled in favor of the plantiff in a nearly 8-year old suit against the city of Des Moines.  In short, the court reaffirmed decisions previously made at lower judiciary level that the city had illegally charged citizens a franchise fee on their utility bills.

In the end, the city has been ordered to refund $9 million.  Case closed (after 8 years) right?

Um, maybe not.  Des Moines' city 'leaders' are considering spending even more money on their lost cause to appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, which almost certainly will not hear the case because it doesn't have enough widespread application.

And regardless, the city council is making it clear that they will ultimately recoup the funds from taxpayers anyway, by using some other tax source to fund the $9 million from those same tax-ees.  So the taxpayers win the lawsuit after being screwed, and the reward is to get screwed a second time.

In other words, Des Moines' city 'leaders' aren't even going to make an effort to find a way to minimize the impact of their mistake by stopping their legal appeals, or god forbid, reducing expenses.  There is something so fundamentally wrong with this, it's no wonder fringe groups like the Tea Party can gain popular support.

At least props go to the district court judge who's original order was upheld by the Iowa Supreme Court.  When the city argued that the fee should be upheld because not doing so would have the same impact on taxholders, here's what he wrote in his ruling:

“The court disagrees with the City’s position that equity mandates there be no refund to the class. If the court was to accept the City’s position no refund under the City’s benefit/no detriment argument the court would be sending a message to all cities in Iowa that as long as cities use funds from the illegal taxation for the good and honorable purposes, the taxpayers don’t have anything to complain about and have no right to a refund of the funds illegally collected. The City’s position in this regard is not supported by any just, fair or equitable principle. The court should not and will not send such a message."

Along with the plaintiff, he's the warrior for the taxpayers.