What follows is the text of a September 27th article written for The Des Moines Register (specifically for its young professional supplement, Juice) by Mike Draper, the fairly well-known owner of the Des Moines t-shirt store, Raygun. (I would link to it, but their web site only allows so many non-subscription visits.) This should be required reading for every Iowan, and maybe everybody else:
Governor Terry Branstad would be a lot more likeable if he just never opened his mouth. Whenever he starts to give his opinion, I feel like a high schooler whose dad has decided to show off his dance moves in front of you and all your friends.
Most of his infractions have been pretty minor. There was his declaration this past May that companies “want to get out of California as quick as they can. We welcome them to Iowa.” Unfortunately, the shirts we’ve been saving for Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page have been gathering dust in our store since spring.
That was just after he called for a congressional investigation into the “pink slime smear campaign” as well as state laws against filming inside food factories. The last thing we want people to know is what they’re eating.
All TB has done, though, pales in comparison to his wall-to-wall B.S. editorial in The Des Moines Register earlier this month: “Obama has worn out his welcome.” It reads like something the Republican National Committee jotted down on a couple cocktail napkins, then attached our governor’s name. But if Branstad actually did write it (and more frightening, believes it), this isn’t your uncoordinated dad just dancing for all your friends, this is your dad stepping onto the “American Idol” stage.
“In Iowa,” Terry writes, “we know a thing or two about building success with our own two hands. ... We don’t look at our farms or our factories or our businesses and say, ‘Look what the government built.’ ”
Good god. He writes this from the center of a state that is up to its hog-nuts in federally subsidized agriculture, federally subsidized ethanol, and federally subsidized wind energy. He writes this within days of giving the largest economic subsidy in Iowa history to a foreign fertilizer production company. He writes this from a state whose governor declared he’d create 200,000 jobs (how a governor would do this without “picking winners or losers” needs to be explained to me). He writes this from a state whose commemorative quarter depicts a public school building painted by our most famous artist, Grant Wood, whose livelihood during the Depression was sustained by the Federal Art Project.
As a business owner who has never used a federally backed loan, who has never had a government contract, who has never really had any direct aid to speak of, I’d be in a good spot to claim that “I built it” if I wanted to sound like more of an a-hole than I already am. But I still can’t. After all, I was born into a stable home, in a stable state, educated K-12 in a public community school, graduated from college debt-free because of my parents, and opened a business in a building that was constructed with the help of Tax Increment Financing.
From direct help like the mortgage interest deduction to peripheral help like roads, everyone in America has taken some form of government assistance. Everyone wants government assistance cut, but not their government assistance. I can forgive 24-hour news commentators for making brash, incorrect declarations, because their news model is built on B.S. But I worry when our elected officials start to sound like our 24-hour news commentators.
At least Barack Obama is in luck: Branstad declares that he’s “not resting until Mitt Romney gets the votes to send him to the White House.” If his promise for Mitt gets as far as his promise to not pick winners and losers, Obama is in great shape.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Facebook For The Over 40 Crowd
I've been on Facebook (or as the original creators and I call it, 'The Facebook') long enough now to have a pretty good idea of what is worthwhile, and what is a waste of time, for anyone older than 40.
[As an aside, it seems to me that Facebook usage begins to noticeably drop for people somewhere in their 30s. It figures that once people's lives mature, they should get busier working on the relationships with their children and their careers, and have less time for social media. Maybe this will change some as the Facebook generation matures, and the mobile technology further integrates. As for the under-30 crowd on Facebook, I have no idea what's worthwhile - other than spending less time on it.]
Here are a few effective uses of Facebook for the over-40 crowd:
[As an aside, it seems to me that Facebook usage begins to noticeably drop for people somewhere in their 30s. It figures that once people's lives mature, they should get busier working on the relationships with their children and their careers, and have less time for social media. Maybe this will change some as the Facebook generation matures, and the mobile technology further integrates. As for the under-30 crowd on Facebook, I have no idea what's worthwhile - other than spending less time on it.]
Here are a few effective uses of Facebook for the over-40 crowd:
- Posting pictures and status of out-of-the-ordinary events, like football games or vacations. No need to post pictures of your children or grandchildren (see below), with the possible exception of newborns in the form of a birth announcement. And it's OK to post pictures of significant others, for others to creep on them.
- Re-connecting with old high school and college friends, ones who you liked well enough, but not well enough that you cared to keep in touch. This comes with the added benefit of finding out what they look like, who they've become, and comparing that with what you thought they'd be.
- Sharing links to other interesting web-based material, especially video links. Let me repeat - INTERESTING material. Note that anything related to animals, especially cats, is not interesting. Also note that contrary to what some say, politically-related info is perfectly acceptable, especially to those over 40. Cute pictures or videos of pets don't affect your future, but political ideology does.
- Posting pictures and status of children, especially older children. Unless it's a big event, like prom or graduation, no one actually cares what your teenager is doing, as long as they aren't doing something illegal in my neighborhood.
- Liking statuses. If you're over 40 years old, unless it's family, or unless you also have a pithy comment to attach to a someone else's status, don't simply 'like' it. That super-cheesy, and it implicitly means you dislike status which you don't 'like.' What's the point?
- Invitations to events. Thanks for not calling, but this isn't going to work either.
One other thing for us oldsters - if you aren't going to check your Facebook page at least once every few days, why have you bothered to start one? If your answer is to creep on your kids or their friends, that isn't good enough.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Cyclones, Hawkeyes, Elephants, Donkeys
Over the past two weeks, the Republicans and Democrats wrapped up their respective national conventions. These things have really changed over the years. Everything is so scripted and made-for-TV now, there is no potential for any surprise. And the broadcast networks only show the last hour of each nigh - back in the day, it was the only thing on TV the entire evening, and since there was no cable TV then, you were stuck.
Over the past week, another big event soaked up media time in Iowa. Specifically, the Iowa - Iowa State football game. These games have also changed a lot over the years. In the '80s and '90s, Iowa would routinely win big. Now the game is more competitive, with Iowa State winning the last two, and 9 of the last 15.
Now, why write about these seemingly different things? What do these events have in common? Plenty:
- Each party/team has some passionate supporters. People who will vocally and monetarily back their party/team regardless of how good the actual product is.
- Each party/team has some extremist supporters. People who will take whatever action necessary they believe will help their party/team to win, including lies and even violence.
- Each event rarely lives up to the hype. They are small parts of a longer effort to achieve a larger goal, and the event itself is forgotten in a few months or weeks.
Oh, and one more: There is lots of partying before and during each event.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
From Dope To Dopey
A new study released this week concluded that teens who routinely smoke marijuana risk a long-term drop in their IQ. The study drew on survey data from more than 1,000 people in New Zealand. (The study did not say why Kiwis were chosen for the study; maybe all of the Amsterdam folks were sleeping it off.)
If one reads the headlines on this study, the quick and easy takeaway is that smoking pot makes you dumber. Therefore, it's bad for you, and young people should not smoke it.
Fine...but why be so limiting? The whole truth is, teens would be adversely affected by using ANY mind-altering substances.
In America, and I suspect in New Zealand, wouldn't the outcome be the same if youngsters drank alcohol? Or how about if they consistently took anti-anxiety or anti-depression medication? Of course, the answer is yes, a conclusion I reached without using one taxpayer dime to study.
Yet it is completely legal (and prevalent) in this country for kids to take prescription medications that affect brain cells. And while it is illegal for teens to buy / sell / drink alcohol in the U.S., they don't get thrown into jail if they do it, because it's socially acceptable and tolerated.
This is where the anti-marijuana folks get it all wrong. Critical thinkers - like me! - aren't pro-pot; we're pro-decriminalizing pot. We know from a combination of experience and god-given common sense that it isn't any worse, and maybe better for you, than the other legalized mind-altering substances I've mentioned.
Throw in how marijuana decriminalization will save billions in law enforcement, and help the economy in other ways (and I'm not just talking about Doritos consumption), and even a 'dumb' pot smoker can tell you this is a 'no-brainer.'
If one reads the headlines on this study, the quick and easy takeaway is that smoking pot makes you dumber. Therefore, it's bad for you, and young people should not smoke it.
Fine...but why be so limiting? The whole truth is, teens would be adversely affected by using ANY mind-altering substances.
In America, and I suspect in New Zealand, wouldn't the outcome be the same if youngsters drank alcohol? Or how about if they consistently took anti-anxiety or anti-depression medication? Of course, the answer is yes, a conclusion I reached without using one taxpayer dime to study.
Yet it is completely legal (and prevalent) in this country for kids to take prescription medications that affect brain cells. And while it is illegal for teens to buy / sell / drink alcohol in the U.S., they don't get thrown into jail if they do it, because it's socially acceptable and tolerated.
This is where the anti-marijuana folks get it all wrong. Critical thinkers - like me! - aren't pro-pot; we're pro-decriminalizing pot. We know from a combination of experience and god-given common sense that it isn't any worse, and maybe better for you, than the other legalized mind-altering substances I've mentioned.
Throw in how marijuana decriminalization will save billions in law enforcement, and help the economy in other ways (and I'm not just talking about Doritos consumption), and even a 'dumb' pot smoker can tell you this is a 'no-brainer.'
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Best Song Lyrics (Part X)
You may have noticed that in the past IX installments of this recurring series, I haven't included anyone from the hip-hop genre. Nor will I this time.
It isn't that there aren't some candidates. It's that in order to be considered a great lyricist to me, the songs have to be able to span generations. Hip-hip simply hasn't been around long enough to qualify.
I thought about this generation span the other day when I heard some teens singing along to James Taylor's recording of You've Got A Friend. I don't know where they learned it, although I sincerely doubt it came from watching another episode of Glee. (The one and only one redeeming thing about that show is, it does occasionally bring my generation's music to a younger crowd.)
James Taylor not only has great lyrical music, but he still has an incredible mellow-sounding voice that makes his music even better. While he has many classics, I prefer the 1970 song Fire And Rain. While it may seem the song is all about losing a loved one, in fact these last two verses allude to his struggles with depression and addiction:
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand, and I won't make it any other way.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you again.
Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line, to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again.
It isn't that there aren't some candidates. It's that in order to be considered a great lyricist to me, the songs have to be able to span generations. Hip-hip simply hasn't been around long enough to qualify.
I thought about this generation span the other day when I heard some teens singing along to James Taylor's recording of You've Got A Friend. I don't know where they learned it, although I sincerely doubt it came from watching another episode of Glee. (The one and only one redeeming thing about that show is, it does occasionally bring my generation's music to a younger crowd.)
James Taylor not only has great lyrical music, but he still has an incredible mellow-sounding voice that makes his music even better. While he has many classics, I prefer the 1970 song Fire And Rain. While it may seem the song is all about losing a loved one, in fact these last two verses allude to his struggles with depression and addiction:
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand, and I won't make it any other way.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you again.
Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line, to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Breaking Down the Summer Olympics
There are 36 Summer Olympic sports with at total of around 300 events. So for example, tennis is 1 sport, but with 5 events - men's and women's singles and doubles, plus mixed doubles.
Over the past two weeks, I've been able to watch, via TV or computer, at least parts of every one of these so-called 'sports.' Here are my comments on all of them:
Archery - modestly interesting, mostly because my daughter's high school classmate is an Olympic athlete in this category.
Athletics (Track & Field) - I would not walk across the street to see a high school or college track meet, but for the Olympics, I'll make an exception. Watching Usain Bolt both on and off the track was worth it alone. And seeing Oscar Pistorius, the South African runner on artificial legs, was very cool.
Badminton - I played this in a college class and was pretty good at it, so it was kind of interesting to watch the pros. Until some of them decided to intentionally lose.
Basketball - Great combination: The probably the most entertaining Olympic sport to watch, with the best U.S. professional players together on the same team.
Beach Volleyball - Looked like a fun venue to be at in person, but let's get real, without the American teams, it would not have been that entertaining to watch.
Boxing - Growing up, in the 70s, this was one of the showcase events. Now, because the sport of boxing in this country has been run into the ground, nobody wants to watch it anymore.
Canoe Slalom - Just couldn't get into it. Can anyone name the best canoe/kayaker of all-time? If so, you have too much spare time.
Canoe Sprint - Looked like a very modernized Lewis & Clark expedition down a man-made waterway, except more aerobic.
Cycling BMX - Belongs in the X-Games, not the Olympic Games.
Cycling Mountain Bike - Moderately interesting, although I felt the course should have had more obstacles.
Cycling Road - I appreciated it as a cyclist, but it was anti-climatic coming on the heels of the Tour de France.
Cycling Track - The indoor velodrome races were kind of cool, and had some drama, not just because the bikes had no gears or brakes.
Diving - I tweeted about this more than once: Why did diving get so much prime time TV exposure? It's boring, and it's not like most Americans are divers. (On that basis, we should have seen more table tennis.) Plus, what makes a person become a synchronized diver? As one blogger wrote, could they not stand the crushing loneliness of being more than three meters from another diver?.
Equestrian - Dressage is goofy, but the jumping is kind of interesting. The medals should go to the horses for what they do, not the riders
Fencing - Near as I can tell, you need to shout and act like you made contact on each thrust, lest the judges think you didn't win the point. If they used actual sabres and swords, there would be less confusion about that.
Football (Soccer) - Just like regular soccer, meaning mostly boring, and made moreso that way since the U.S. men didn't even qualify. But it was fun to watch the U.S. women win, right up until their post-gold medal media interviews, when they couldn't seem to stop talking about how great they were.
Gymnastics Artistic - Don't really mind watching it. Pound for pound, no one is stronger than men or women gymnasts. Also, 'local' angle since gold-medalist Gabby Douglas trains in West Des Moines at a complex close to my office. But would someone also please give the U.S. women some media training? If I hear another one of those teens use the word "definitely" in a sentence, I'm going to puke.
Gymnastics Rhythmic - Strangely compelling to see the flexibility and balance. What they do with balls and hoops might be illegal in many bible belt states.
Handball - Not handball, TEAM handball. Odd, but watchable. The U.S. would dominate this sport, if we cared about it, which we don't.
Hockey (Field Hockey) - Seems like it should have been more entertaining to watch, like ice hockey, but it was more like soccer, which is to say kind of boring. Maybe it's because I never quite understood all of the rules.
Judo - See taekwondo.
Modern Pentathlon - Did you even know about this? A one-day event on the last day of the Olympics, consisting of fencing, swimming, horse riding, shooting and running. Only medieval knights apply.
Rowing - The sport was OK, but the venue was better in how it allowed people on bicycles to ride alongside as the competition occurred. (Same as canoe sprint.)
Sailing - The only drama comes before the race even starts, when the boats jockey for position at the start. Otherwise, it's like watching paint dry.
Shooting - Kind of alarming to think people can shoot moving targets that fast. For sport.
Swimming - Don't mind watching it, but all of the events tend to dilute interest. Also, please stop showing me Michael Phelps, and Michael Phelps' mom.
Synchronized Swimming - Sort of mesmerizing to watch, like a kaleidoscope, but in the end, it's synchronized swimming.
Table Tennis - Crazy how good these folks are at ping-pong, but could today's players beat the best of all-time, Forrest Gump?
Taekwondo - See judo.
Tennis - How many more times will Wimbledon be held this year?
Trampoline - Not a sport. Cirque do Soleil is calling on line 1.
Triathlon - Fits the 'faster/higher/stronger' theme of the Olympics better than any other event. From a spectator standpoint, it just takes too long from start to finish.
Volleyball - I get the sport, and the toughness needed to play it at the Olympic level. I don't get all of the hugging and touching after every single point.
Water Polo - Enjoyed watching both men and women, wondering how hard it must be to swim or tread water for so long. But it was a little unsettling to see so many larger women in thong-ish one-piece suits. And as one media outlet said, the headgear makes them look like aquatic teletubbies.
Weightlifting - Would have been totally forgettable if not for the dude who dropped the bar on his head, and somehow didn't get injured.
Wrestling - On the down side, not as good to watch as college or even pro wrestling. On the plus side, they allow women to compete without controversy.
Looking forward to golf in 2016!
Over the past two weeks, I've been able to watch, via TV or computer, at least parts of every one of these so-called 'sports.' Here are my comments on all of them:
Archery - modestly interesting, mostly because my daughter's high school classmate is an Olympic athlete in this category.
Athletics (Track & Field) - I would not walk across the street to see a high school or college track meet, but for the Olympics, I'll make an exception. Watching Usain Bolt both on and off the track was worth it alone. And seeing Oscar Pistorius, the South African runner on artificial legs, was very cool.
Badminton - I played this in a college class and was pretty good at it, so it was kind of interesting to watch the pros. Until some of them decided to intentionally lose.
Basketball - Great combination: The probably the most entertaining Olympic sport to watch, with the best U.S. professional players together on the same team.
Beach Volleyball - Looked like a fun venue to be at in person, but let's get real, without the American teams, it would not have been that entertaining to watch.
Boxing - Growing up, in the 70s, this was one of the showcase events. Now, because the sport of boxing in this country has been run into the ground, nobody wants to watch it anymore.
Canoe Slalom - Just couldn't get into it. Can anyone name the best canoe/kayaker of all-time? If so, you have too much spare time.
Canoe Sprint - Looked like a very modernized Lewis & Clark expedition down a man-made waterway, except more aerobic.
Cycling BMX - Belongs in the X-Games, not the Olympic Games.
Cycling Mountain Bike - Moderately interesting, although I felt the course should have had more obstacles.
Cycling Road - I appreciated it as a cyclist, but it was anti-climatic coming on the heels of the Tour de France.
Cycling Track - The indoor velodrome races were kind of cool, and had some drama, not just because the bikes had no gears or brakes.
Diving - I tweeted about this more than once: Why did diving get so much prime time TV exposure? It's boring, and it's not like most Americans are divers. (On that basis, we should have seen more table tennis.) Plus, what makes a person become a synchronized diver? As one blogger wrote, could they not stand the crushing loneliness of being more than three meters from another diver?.
Equestrian - Dressage is goofy, but the jumping is kind of interesting. The medals should go to the horses for what they do, not the riders
Fencing - Near as I can tell, you need to shout and act like you made contact on each thrust, lest the judges think you didn't win the point. If they used actual sabres and swords, there would be less confusion about that.
Football (Soccer) - Just like regular soccer, meaning mostly boring, and made moreso that way since the U.S. men didn't even qualify. But it was fun to watch the U.S. women win, right up until their post-gold medal media interviews, when they couldn't seem to stop talking about how great they were.
Gymnastics Artistic - Don't really mind watching it. Pound for pound, no one is stronger than men or women gymnasts. Also, 'local' angle since gold-medalist Gabby Douglas trains in West Des Moines at a complex close to my office. But would someone also please give the U.S. women some media training? If I hear another one of those teens use the word "definitely" in a sentence, I'm going to puke.
Gymnastics Rhythmic - Strangely compelling to see the flexibility and balance. What they do with balls and hoops might be illegal in many bible belt states.
Handball - Not handball, TEAM handball. Odd, but watchable. The U.S. would dominate this sport, if we cared about it, which we don't.
Hockey (Field Hockey) - Seems like it should have been more entertaining to watch, like ice hockey, but it was more like soccer, which is to say kind of boring. Maybe it's because I never quite understood all of the rules.
Judo - See taekwondo.
Modern Pentathlon - Did you even know about this? A one-day event on the last day of the Olympics, consisting of fencing, swimming, horse riding, shooting and running. Only medieval knights apply.
Rowing - The sport was OK, but the venue was better in how it allowed people on bicycles to ride alongside as the competition occurred. (Same as canoe sprint.)
Sailing - The only drama comes before the race even starts, when the boats jockey for position at the start. Otherwise, it's like watching paint dry.
Shooting - Kind of alarming to think people can shoot moving targets that fast. For sport.
Swimming - Don't mind watching it, but all of the events tend to dilute interest. Also, please stop showing me Michael Phelps, and Michael Phelps' mom.
Synchronized Swimming - Sort of mesmerizing to watch, like a kaleidoscope, but in the end, it's synchronized swimming.
Table Tennis - Crazy how good these folks are at ping-pong, but could today's players beat the best of all-time, Forrest Gump?
Taekwondo - See judo.
Tennis - How many more times will Wimbledon be held this year?
Trampoline - Not a sport. Cirque do Soleil is calling on line 1.
Triathlon - Fits the 'faster/higher/stronger' theme of the Olympics better than any other event. From a spectator standpoint, it just takes too long from start to finish.
Volleyball - I get the sport, and the toughness needed to play it at the Olympic level. I don't get all of the hugging and touching after every single point.
Water Polo - Enjoyed watching both men and women, wondering how hard it must be to swim or tread water for so long. But it was a little unsettling to see so many larger women in thong-ish one-piece suits. And as one media outlet said, the headgear makes them look like aquatic teletubbies.
Weightlifting - Would have been totally forgettable if not for the dude who dropped the bar on his head, and somehow didn't get injured.
Wrestling - On the down side, not as good to watch as college or even pro wrestling. On the plus side, they allow women to compete without controversy.
Looking forward to golf in 2016!
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