2014

As with last year, let's review the things I said I'd like to see in 2013, with my new notes in ALL CAPS:

-Me take more time off.  A repeat.  Hoping it happens this time.
(I'M GOING TO STOP WRITING THIS ONE.)

-Compromise in the U.S. Congress.  After all, it's not an election year.
(NOT COUNTING THE ALLEGED DECEMBER BUDGET COMPROMISE, TEA PARTY REPUBLICANS TOOK US FARTHER FROM COMPROMISE, NOT CLOSER.)

-A reduction in U.S. government spending and subsidies
(SMALL REDUCTION OF WIND AND ETHANOL SPENDING, BUT THIS IS A FAIRY TALE.)

-Fewer reality TV shows starring hillbillys.
(COULD NOT HAVE GONE MORE IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.  THEY ARE MORE POPULAR THAN EVER.  JUST LOOK AT MY PREVIOUS POST.)

-Successful planning and execution of all family weddings.
(NAILED IT.)

-An end to the central U.S. drought.

(A LESSER DROUGHT IS NOT AN END TO THE DROUGHT - BUT FARMERS BROUGHT IN A RECORD CROP SO I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT MUCH ANYMORE.)

-The siding on my house to be repaired.
(GOT DONE IN OCTOBER, BUT ONLY THANKS TO MULTIPLE CALLS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.)

For 2014 I'd like to see:

The (continued) fall of the so-called Tea Party conservatives.

Less Kanye / Less Miley.

Apple TV.

NCAA basketball Sweet 16 trips for either Iowa and Iowa State.

Better football from the Cyclones and Vikings - the bar is incredibly low.

Warmer Spring weather, at least where it doesn't snow again in May.

More legalization of marijuana beyond what's happening in Colorado on 1/1/2014.

A la carte cable TV channels.  It's only a matter of time before cable providers will have to do this to compete with computer streaming.  Why not in 2014?

If It Walks Like A Duck.....

There are so many reality shows on TV these days, nobody could possibly watch them all.  I'll watch one or two, but I don't watch any that glorify the dumb hillbilly persona, such as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Moonshiners, or everybody's current favorite, Duck Dynasty.

Today, Duck Dynasty is in trouble because the patriarchal member was openly quoted in GQ magazine saying some bad things about "homosexuals" and the gay lifestyle.  The show's network (A & E) is distancing itself from the comments, acting shocked (shocked! I tell you) that he would say such insensitive things. Conversely, the Duck Dynasty family and thousands of the show's fans are rallying around him, claiming he has a right to express his religious beliefs.

There are so many great things about this:

1) Screw A & E.  They struck gold by signing up and making famous a bunch of dumb Louisiana hillbillies, and they didn't consider that eventually, one or more of these idiots would say something insensitive?  They deserve all of the bad publicity they get, from both sides.

2) Screw the Duck Dynasty family.  They've had way beyond their 15 minutes of fame, and have been made rich by their stupidity.  Now the same thing that made them famous, their back-ways hillbilly-ness, is going to crucify them.  No one should feel sorry for them, and they probably don't want that from anyone, which leads me to.....

3) Screw the show's supportive fans.  No one would be complaining if this guy had simply said his religious beliefs did not support gay lifestyle, and that was his opinion.  But what he said in GQ (plus what has also been released on video from a church speech he gave) was completely mean-spirited and intolerant.  It's the real(ity) him, not the fake media version of him, and likely what the rest of the family believes.

At least one good thing might come from all of this - one less hillbilly reality TV show!

Performance Enhancing Post

A combination of illness and Christmastime business has conspired to keep me from blogging lately.  As an alternative, I'm going to post the text of a great recent column by sportswriter Rick Reilly on espn.com:

I'm so pumped up for next July in Cooperstown!

I can't wait to see who's going to be in the crowd at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony for new members Tony La Russa, Bobby Cox and Joe Torre.

Maybe Mark McGwire will show up?  It might be as close as he'll ever get.  La Russa managed him for 15 seasons in both Oakland and St. Louis and says he never saw McGwire do a single steroid.  Imagine that.

Maybe Alex Rodriguez will attend?  He probably won't get in, either.  Former New York Yankees skipper Torre says he didn't even notice A-Roid's alleged PED use in the four years he managed him.  A-Roid's got plenty of time to go to Cooperstown.  He's appealing a 211-game suspension for PEDs.  Torre?  No ban for him.  In fact, he's an executive vice president of Major League Baseball now.

Maybe former Atlanta Braves manager Cox will look out in the crowd to see his old star Gary Sheffield. Probably not.  Cox says he never saw all the PEDs Sheffield was taking when he had him right under his nose in the Atlanta clubhouse.

In all, the three managers being inducted oversaw at least 34 players who've been implicated as PED users and never noticed a thing wrong.

You could build a wing with the admitted and suspected drug cheats they won with:  A-Rod, Roger Clemens (Torre), Jason Giambi (Torre and La Russa), McGwire, Jose Canseco (La Russa), Melky Cabrera (Torre and Cox), David Justice (Torre and Cox), Andy Pettite (Torre), Manny Ramirez (Torre with the Dodgers) and Sheffield (Torre and Cox.)

If we get really lucky, maybe disgraced HGH pitcher Darren Holmes will show up. He played under all three of them!

It's just another year in the Hall of Farce, where the codes of conduct shift like beach sand; where the rules for one set of men are ignored for another; where PED poppers can never enter, but the men who turned their backs to the cheating get gleaming, bronze plaques.

Hail The Great Enablers!

La Russa's slipping on the Hall of Fame jersey Monday is the sight that really tested my gag reflex.  He did more for juicers than Jack LaLanne.  He managed McGwire and Canseco -- the Wright Brothers of the Druggie Era -- for 21 combined seasons.  He made millions on their pimpled backs, won his first World Series title on their syringes and built his 33-year managing career on their artificially carved biceps.

Under La Russa, the Oakland clubhouse became a kind of leather-upholstered showroom for creams, rubs and injections that allowed players to work out harder, recover quicker and attack the game like a wolf in a hen house.  It didn't change much in St. Louis, either, where he says he didn't notice what McGwire, Troy Glaus, Fernando Vina and Ryan Franklin were doing.

He spent eight hours a day around these guys, eight months a year, and yet he never saw a thing.  Maybe he dressed in a different clubhouse?

But he goes into the HOF and those players never will.  Maybe he can send them some Instagrams.

Hey, you think any of the three skips will mention how PEDS helped them get to that sunny afternoon in Cooperstown?

Oh, and I can't forget to thank Katalina at Tijuana Pharmacy for all her help. Like my players always said, "We can't get cut without Kat!"

You won't even have to be in Cooperstown to smell the hypocrisy.  Even the faintest scent of a rumor of PED use is enough to sink a player now.

Managers?  Odorless.

Take Houston Astros great Craig Biggio. He had more than enough career to get in, and even though there isn't a stitch of evidence against him, the writers have kept him out because they have a niggling hunch he might've used.

Remember, kids:  If you play the game under even a single cloud of suspicion, you're out.  Manage it under one? Come on in and pull up a plaque!

Can you imagine this in any other sport?  Do you think for a second Johan Bruyneel, the manager of all of Lance Armstrong's cheating, champion Tour de France teams, didn't know what was going on?  You figure Bonnie and Clyde's driver just thought they were always running late?

Next month, the writers are expected to vote down McGwire for the eighth time and Clemens for the second time.  They're right to do it.  Those guys are tainted beyond any reasonable doubt, though Clemens still maintains innocence.  But for the expansion error committee to let these three managers in -- unanimously, no less -- after winning hundreds of games with better chemistry is the gold standard of double standards.

If you believe they didn't know, then you'll fit perfectly in Dupers Town.

Watching Basketball In Black And White

No sport does more to perpetuate white racial stereotypes than basketball.  They even made a successful movie about it years ago - White Men Can't Jump.

The conventional wisdom is, white players aren't as 'athletic' as black players, meaning they aren't as quick, don't jump as high, etc., and ergo, they aren't as good.

Oh, white players are still very good, just not as good, generally speaking. Considering the best of the best of today's players, it's hard to argue.

I can't help but think of this while watching this year's University of Iowa men's basketball team.  Let's just say it has a high proportion of pasty white, almost sickly looking players.  I'm talking tall-but-gaunt-looking players.

But very good, dare I say athletic, pasty white, almost sickly looking players.  All right, one of them is a bigger guy, which is important, because sometimes four of these whiteys are on the court at once.  And a couple of them are Iowa natives, so that's good, too.

So the question is, how long before someone in the mainstream sports media, or even the non-mainstream media, dare to assume verbally or in writing that this Iowa team isn't 'athletic' (Read: black) enough to compete against the best teams?

That mistake is made almost every year with Wisconsin.  I guess they'll be able to compete with them, huh?

Still More Unthankfulness

It's time for the 5th annual edition of my Thanksgiving-time list of things for which I am not thankful. You can get to the trail of prior lists here.

As usual, this list is in no particular order:

Sub-zero weather in November.

Iowa allowing smoking in its casinos, when it's banned everywhere else.

Government shutdowns.

Parents who don't hold their children accountable.

The botched heathcare.gov website.

Humble-braggers.

Bad football played by the teams for which I am a fan.

Ted Cruz.

Twerking.

Those still in denial about social movements that are irreversible (e.g. gay marriage, marijuana legalization).

Anyone who cares more about what I do, than they care about what they do.

Brutal Vikings - The Video Version

The better part of four years ago, I posted a blog entry about the misery of being a long-time Minnesota Vikings football fan, in which I gave my list of the top five most brutal losses.  (The #3 spot on my list had just been recorded a few days earlier.)

The Vikings suck again this year, so it's hard to imagine there will be anything busting into the top five or even top twenty this year.  But the other day on YouTube, I found a tremendous video montage that included four of my top five.  You can find it here - all Vikings fans should remove sharp objects from the room if they watch it.

Since it inexplicably doesn't include my #2 pick (maybe because it's from 1975), I include it here for a full accounting.  [NOTE: This is the entire game but all you need to do is start at the 1:59:30 mark for the actual misery.]

One of the things that strikes me in most of these football games is how the ultimate heartbreaking play is preceded by a crazy penultimate play, where a bad call or bounce or penalty retained the ultimate play's destiny.

Just to make mostly myself feel better, I'll include video of what might be the greatest moment in Vikings history.  When you have to go back to a regular season game in 1980, that isn't good.

Getting School-ed Again

This week, the local Community Section of the Des Moines Register reported that my school district, the Johnston School District, ended its most recent fiscal year with a $2.1 million budget deficit.  A huge screw up by administration, right?  Heads are going to roll, right?  I mean.....um.....hold on.....I'm being told in my earpiece that apparently the school board thinks it's.....OK?

Said the school board president, "I think my takeaway would be these (numbers) look OK.  But we wouldn't want them to go any lower.  We'd really like to turn the direction around."

Now you might be thinking, give them a break, there are understandable one-offs now and then.  After all, the article said the shortfall is partly the result of having to pay over $800,000 to implement and purchase textbooks for a new math program.  If you're wondering, there was no word on whether giving everyone an iPad made a difference.

The thing of it is, besides the unanswered question of why that math stuff wasn't already budgeted for in the prior year, this is no one-off.  This is the second time in the last 4 years the school district has exceeded its budget.  And this is the group that's going to be in charge of building a brand new, multi-million dollar high school.

I guarantee that if something like this happened in the for-profit world, there would be VERY serious consequences.  Budgets would be immediately slashed, as would jobs. Who knows, there might even be a going-out-of-business outcome.

But in the not-for-profit, governmental world, backed by the unlimited deep pockets of taxpayers, there is no panic.  According to the article, the soon-to-be retired school superintendent offered no specific action.  The district finance director said that, other than deferring the purchase of new social study textbooks, perhaps next year they'd have to maintain current staffing levels without increases.

Gosh, don't sacrifice too much.

As a taxpayer, I'm on the hook for this spending and mismanagement, but unfortunately, I have no choice nor power to invest my money elsewhere.  Sure, I can vote for new school board members, but the problem is the governmental model, not the people running it.

Unless school districts, or other government entities, face consequences for overspending, it's just going to continue.

More East Coast Media Bias

I've written before about how weather events affecting the major east coast cities get so much more media coverage than if they occur in other major cities.  Today I'm writing about a similar phenomenon that impacts sports.

Why does it seem that whenever a pro sports team from New York or Boston wins a title, it's treated by the media as bigger than when it happens anywhere else?  It's happening again now, after Boston won the World Series yesterday.

That's fine, congrats to them, but just like the two other times they won in the last decade, it's getting so much more media coverage than it deserves.  Let's just admit, it's a lot less than when San Francisco or St. Louis each won it twice recently.

Today, national sportswriters and broadcasters are saying Boston's win 'transcended' sports and "defined' the city, while also fawning over the fact that while they've won it before, it had been almost 90 years since they won it at home.  The thing is, no one outside the northeastern seaboard thinks nor cares about those things, especially for a baseball team that finished last in their division last year.

This media self-infatuation carries over to football, too.  In the past decade or so, when Boston (New England) or New York (Giants) won a combined 5 Super Bowls, the media coverage is both breathless and endless.  But when a place like Indianapolis or New Orleans or Green Bay wins it, the coverage is much more muted.

We can only hope no Boston or New York teams win any pro sports titles again in our lifetime.  Meanwhile, this once again proves my theory that for all of the so-called toughness of the major east coast cities, they really are drama queens when it comes to wanting more national attention for events that happen everywhere.

Cruzin'

It's been a while since I've inducted anyone into the Whacked Out In The Head (WOITH) club.

First a quick review of current members:

Politicians:
Steve King
Bob Vander Plaats
Glen Massie
Kim Pearson
Kent Sorenson
Michele Bachmann
Brad Zaun

Non-politicians:
Charlie Sheen

Anyone with a reality show on MTV
Jerry Sandusky

The entire Kardashian family

The guy down my street who put a $60,000 house on a $30,000 lot (Honorary Member)

I am now compelled to add another politician, someone who's been begging for membership since he joined the U.S. Senate less than a year ago.

In just that short of a time, he's single-handedly shut down the government with unsupportable grandstanding political tactics, and tried to make everyone believe he's a hero for doing it.  He's also alienated members of his own political party for not being compromising enough, while simultaneously making the other political party look better for not compromising.

But what really put him over the top was being in Iowa (again) this weekend for a speech, then going pheasant hunting with original WOITH member Steve King.  As we've seen before, whenever two or more WOITH members are together, the country ultimately laughs and does the opposite of what they want.

Welcome, Texan Ted Cruz, who's so far to the right on the political spectrum he's off the map.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (Even With An Escort)

Excluding part-time or temporary work, I've only worked at three organizations.  Two of them were 10+ years runs, with the most recent run ending at 5 years.

In each case, I was fortunate enough to meet good people, and gain professional experience.  I was also fortunate enough to leave on my own terms, and of my own choosing (although I probably stayed longer than I should have).

Unfortunately, leaving a job isn't usually done without issues.  So often, long-term employees are let go with no warning, and given an unceremonious escort out the door, as if they were a criminal.  Thanks for all those years of service!

In those involuntary work separations, plus many voluntary separations, it's also common for former colleagues to wrongly accuse the former employee of doing something inappropriate.  It's a great way for intellectually dishonest, poor performers to try and cover for their own ineptitude.

For some former employers and employees, I guess breaking up is hard to do.

How To Lose Money In The Market

Do most mutual fund managers add value in their attempts to identify 'mispriced' securities? 

Based on a recent analysis of the CRSP (Center for Research in Security Prices) Mutual Fund Database returns data through 2012, we have a pretty good idea of the answer.

This CRSP report documents survivorship and performance in the U.S. mutual fund industry, and illustrates the negative impact of high fees and turnover on returns.  In summary, for the periods examined:

*Outperforming funds were in the minority
*Strong track records failed to persist
*High costs and excessive turnover may have contributed to underperformance

The underperformance among mutual funds points to an important guiding investment principle:  Choosing a long-term winner involves more than seeking out funds with a successful track record, since past performance offers no guarantee future success.  Investors must consider other variables, including a mutual fund’s underlying market philosophy, investment objectives, and perhaps most importantly, cost. 

The competitive landscape makes the search for future winners a formidable challenge. Confronted with so many fund choices – and lacking an investment philosophy to guide their search – some investors resort to picking funds that have strong track records, reasoning that past outperformers will continue to outpace their benchmarks.

According to the CRSP analysis, only about a quarter of the equity funds with past outperformance during the initial three-year period (2007-2009) continued to beat their benchmarks in the subsequent three-year period (2010-2012).  The results for funds with good five- and seven-year track records were similar – only about a quarter beat their benchmarks in the subsequent period.

So, do most mutual fund managers add value in their attempts to identify 'mispriced' securities?  This CRSP analysis of U.S. mutual fund industry performance tells us the answer is a resounding, "No!"  It’s more proof that a broad, low cost investment approach is the best one.

Bad Calls

Even opposing teams agree: Iowa State athletics and its fans have been blatantly robbed three times in less than eight months in big, nationally televised games.

The latest cut came last week in football, when a Texas running back seemed to lose the football near the goal line, and replay officials claimed they didn't have indisputable visual evidence to overturn the call that everyone else could see.  Thus, a 90+ yard, ISU game winning fumble return TD was turned into a Texas win.

This piles on top of the two other blown officiating calls that cost ISU dearly in basketball this year. First, the no-call charge debacle against Kansas in February, and then the block-charge screw-up in the NCAA basketball tournament against Ohio State a month later.  Both occurred very near the end of the game, and both were clearly declared to be wrong later.  (How wrong?  Well, the Big 12 apologized and reprimanded the Kansas game officials.  And since the Ohio State game, the NCAA has clarified the rules relating to when a player can take a charge.)

National media personalities agree these were all crappy calls, but then most of them eventually say that it doesn't come down to one call.  That's true, but also stupid.  Bad calls late in a game are much worse than other times, because the offended team has no time to adapt.  Don't say there were other times that plays could have been made, when in fact the play of the game was made, but taken away by the officials.

The commiseration from national sports media folks on all of these bad officiating calls is nice I suppose, as is the commiseration from other teams' fans.  (I wore ISU gear to a Nebraska football game in Lincoln this past weekend, and no fewer than 4 fans spontaneously told me something to the effect of, "You got screwed!") But it doesn't change outcomes or better the attitude of Cyclone Nation.  They're just left to know that karma is a bitch - Kansas and Ohio State later lost heartbreakers in the NCAA tournament, and this year's Texas football team is already circling the drain.

It's probably best to simply accept that, home or away, when in doubt, officials' calls are going to favor the traditional national power.

Overly Dramatic TV

In my most recent attempt to stay in touch with pop culture, I had to spend the past few weeks getting caught up on, to the extent possible, with TV's Breaking Bad.  I even watched the main cast appear together on Conan.

Not having seen all of the episodes, there's no way for me qualify how good it really was, but it made me consider some of the other TV dramas shows that everyone seems to think are so great:

Lost - It was great.  Saw all but the first few episode.  Finale was a bit of a downer though.

Mad Men - It is great.

The X-Files - Became must-see TV for me, and I don't even like science fiction.

The Walking Dead - hasn't been on long enough to know for sure yet.

Boardwalk Empire, Homeland, Game of Thrones, The Sopranos, The Wire - These are/were all on premium cable which I don't get, and I haven't rented the DVDs, so there's no way to know.  I know The Sopranos finale disappointed, and I'm just going to say Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones are overrated, and Homeland and The Wire are underrated.

So there you go.

People > Pets

I grew up on a farm where we had a dog, and I loved that dog.  (We also had a bunch of cats, but I couldn't have cared less about those cats.)  Under the right circumstances, I could see owning a dog one day, but I've never had a pet as an adult.  Too much hassle and expense to have one in the city.

In summary, I certainly do not hate pets.  I do, however, hate pet-owners who can't follow the etiquette of being a pet-owner.  I've lived in a house on a corner lot for a long time, meaning there's a lot of sidewalk and parking, and the number of times I've had animal waste in my yard is sickening.  (Actually, the sickening part is having to clean it up.)

That's not really the worst of it.  There's always the neighbors who got a dog a long time ago, and also a long time ago decided they were too lazy to actually take their pet for a walk.  So they just let Fido out to do his/her business on their lawn.  This is especially true in the winter, but in any season, their lawn literally looks like crap, and it doesn't exactly raise property values.

But even that isn't really the worst of it.  The worst of it is pet-lovers who want to convince you - and themselves - that a pet is equivalent to a child.  Not just their pet, mind you, but any pet.  How else do you explain our local TV stations leading off the late news with a story about a pet, as opposed to the joy and/or suffering of actual human beings?

I've written about this before, but it seems it's time for a reminder.  This week a local TV station had a pet as its top story - in front of a story about a local policeman who had been killed.  This happens here a lot of weeks.

Nothing wrong with having a pet.  But take care of it, and remember: A dog is a dog, a cat is a cat, and a pet is not a human being.  Get a clue.

The Paranoid Truth

I don't spend much time on Facebook.  I'm not out there always updating my status, or posting pictures of my kids, or my food, or my kids eating food.  But every once in a while, I feel compelled to comment on someone else's status, especially strange ones.

This week I had an exchange that I enjoyed enough to blog about.  It all started with me replying to a comment from a friend-of-a-friend who was complaining about pot laws, but then suggested our government allowed us no more freedoms than that of China.

Here's the entire exchange, verbatim, with no fact checking.  Watch the other guy's paranoia (and the ALL CAPS) elevate:

ME
Hey [name], what color is the sky on the planet where you're living? If you think China is a more tolerant and free society and treats its citizens better than the U.S., go over there and smoke weed and complain about their government, and post how that turns out for you. Might be difficult since you won't have free or uncensored access to the internet as you obviously do in the U.S., but that's OK, China doesn't allow computers in the prison camp you'll be working in the rest of your life anyway.

HIM
William have you been to China? YOUR GOVERNMENT tried to pass CISPA/SOPA, AND PASSED NDAA, HR347, National Defense Resource Preparedness Act. You KNOW nothing of China but what you are TOLD to THINK. Why are you talking about China again? A TRUE PATRIOT is pro-people and questions their out of control government.

THEN HIM AGAIN
It is more so people are to distracted or brainwashed by the TV which is CONTROLLED information. If people can use Facebook then they can use the WORLD WIDE WEB to educate, inform, and research stuff the TV tells them. 90% of the mainstream media is OWNED by 6 corporations tied to banks and the war machine. I WISH people would instead of vomiting misinformation or ignorance BUT instead go to Google, A SEARCH ENGINE and read about it or watch educational films.

ME
I'm guessing brown...the color of the sky on [name's] planet is brown, the same as it is in Beijing because their government enforces no environmental laws either. You should live there, I'm sure you won't have to worry about the government controlling the information or what you think. At least that's what I read on the internet.

HIM
William why are you talking about Beijing? How many times have you been there? This conversation is about wanting a better future for our country. You can love your country WITHOUT loving your government. The founding fathers LOVED America that is why they fought to set the foundation we are letting to shit. So while patriots talk about wanting to preserve the Constitution, the law of the land that many died for you talk about Beijing. I have found lately when people bash the direction this country is headed people say things like racist, Bush or Beijing?? Are you trying to change the subject? WILLIAM if the TV told the world was flat, would you research it? Would you question it? Would you talk about Beijing? OH, and who said the world was brown?

ME
Hey [name], read the comment thread. I'm talking about China (and the sky in your world being brown) because you suggested we had no more freedom in the U.S. than they have. You might want to Google 'Tiananmen Square' sometime and start getting up to speed. You apparently have no idea what freedom is. No one here has a problem with those who responsibly question their government, it's essential to its operation and that's why it's done and even encouraged. But if you did the same in China you'd get a visit from someone in a uniform and/or tank, and no one would ever hear from you again.

I didn't get a reply to that.  I'm certain he would have, but I suspect he had to crash after being up all night smoking dope and eating Doritos.

I love how the guy is convinced the internet is the source of all accurate information.  No wonder he's on Facebook all of the time.  That and the fact he clearly has no job.  I still 100% support decriminalizing pot, but no one who turns into a full-time delusional stoner ever amounts to anything.

Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pita Place

You can't make this stuff up.  You can only satirize it once it really happens.  Thank you to my favorite alien-politicians.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-september-11-2013/two-guys--a-girl-and-a-pita-place

Lessons From A Drunk

One of the big news stories in Iowa this week also gained some nationwide attention - a drunk girl was arrested at the University of Iowa football game.  Doesn't sound like much, does it?  How was it different than the other 100 or so arrests (typical number for every Iowa home football game), most of them also alcohol related?

Two things: 1) Her blood alcohol content was 0.341%, and 2) she bragged about it on Twitter and it went viral.  I'm not sure which of those two things is more stupid, but let's explore the first thing.

Until now, I hadn't really paid attention to how drunk one could get without dying of alcohol poisoning.  So I did a little Google research, and got a bunch of facts(?) from Wikipedia.

Turns out a .341% blood alcohol content isn't even Twitter-worthy.  There are many documented cases (which is to say, people were arrested) in the U.S. of over .5%, and some over .7%.  In fact, this drunk Iowa girl was only halfway to the state record of .627% which was apparently set just a year ago.

And don't even get me started on the international scale, where there are numerous incidents of folks whose blood alcohol was tested to be OVER 1%!  More impressively, some of them were still conscious!

[Yes, I know, this is from Wiki and might be a total fabrication - but you should still look at the entry on blood alcohol content.]

What lesson(s) can be learned here?  I mean, besides not bragging about being stupid, especially when it's about something that isn't as epic as it first sounds.

How about this for a lesson - a civilized society should not accept and glorify alcohol substance abuse, while at the same time attaching a stigma to (and incarcerate) those who would casually smoke marijuana.  Tell me which substance is more likely to make people do stupid and dangerous things.....

I'm waiting.

The Investment Wallflower

Nearly every conversation about the investment marketplace focuses on the stock market.  From the media to financial advisors to investors, the bond market has long been an overlooked wallflower at the proverbial investment dance, even though it has experienced exceptional risk-adjusted returns over many years.

However, the bond market is currently the one that deserves attention.  After a decades-long run of falling interest rates (and thus bond prices rising), bond yields recently have risen sharply, negatively impacting those portfolios with significant exposure to what many consider a ‘safe’ investment.

Generally speaking, the bond market works like this:  As demand rises for less risky investments, bond prices go up.  If you are a bond issuer, such as a government or a corporation, heavy demand means you can get away with paying a lower yield.  Borrowing gets cheaper, with a hoped-for side effect of economic stimulation.

After the 2008 financial panic, bond prices rose to a great degree because the U.S. Federal Reserve started buying billions of dollars of government-issued debt.  Without this central bank action, demand surely would fall, and issuers would be forced to pay higher rates, potentially stifling an economic recovery.

In the past several months, uncertainty about when the Fed might taper its purchases caused a broad selloff in bonds.  Yields climbed rapidly, and fixed income investors suffered losses.  Note that nothing actually changed; rather, the bond market reacted in a volatile way to the mere perception of a change.

No one knows exactly when the Fed will decrease its government bond purchases, but fortunately, we don’t have to know to have a good investment outcome.  A successful investment portfolio doesn’t come from market timing – it comes from a low-cost, risk-appropriate mix of stocks and bonds based on time horizon, with disciplined rebalancing to that mix as necessary.

Managing bond risk is no different than managing stock risk, in the sense that emotion-free decision-making is critical.  The bond market wallflower may suddenly want more attention, but that doesn’t mean you have to change how you dance. 

Best Song Lyrics (Part XIII)

Even though his music career has more or less spanned my lifetime, I've never been a huge Bruce Springsteen fan.  Can't explain it really, because he's always performed good solid rock music with good solid lyrics that mean something.

Strangely, the two albums of his that I listened to the most aren't typical Springsteen albums.  One is Tunnel Of Love, a melancholy set of slower songs set against the time of the real life breakup of his marriage.  It just happened to be great music to rock both me and my baby daughter to sleep.

The other album I've listened to the most is The Rising.  The songs are mostly a reflection of about the 9/11 terror attacks.  The title track is about a firefighter on that day.  I think it would be awesome for him to perform it live when they officially open the new One World Trade Center 1 building:

Can't see nothin' in front of me

Can't see nothin' coming up behind
I make my way through this darkness
I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me
Lost track of how far I've gone
How far I've gone, how high I've climbed
On my back's a sixty pound stone
On my shoulder a half mile line

Come on up for the rising
Com on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

Left the house this morning
Bells ringing filled the air
Wearin' the cross of my calling
On wheels of fire I come rollin' down here

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

Spirits above and behind me
Faces gone, black eyes burnin' bright
May their precious blood forever bind me
Lord as I stand before your fiery light

I see you Mary in the garden
In the garden of a thousand sighs
There's holy pictures of our children
Dancin' in a sky filled with light
May I feel your arms around me
May I feel your blood mix with mine
A dream of life comes to me
Like a catfish dancin' on the end of the line

Sky of blackness and sorrow (a dream of life)
Sky of love, sky of tears (a dream of life)
Sky of glory and sadness (a dream of life)
Sky of mercy, sky of fear (a dream of life)
Sky of memory and shadow (a dream of life)
Your burnin' wind fills my arms tonight
Sky of longing and emptiness (a dream of life)
Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life (a dream of life)

Come on up for the rising
Come on up, lay your hands in mine
Come on up for the rising
Come on up for the rising tonight

The Accidental Tourist

Over the past two weeks, I've traveled thousands of miles by land and air, in and between some of the largest cities in the country that aren't named New York, Los Angeles, or Chicago.  (Although technically, I was in Chicago during an airport layover.)  Here are some observations made over the course of going from Des Moines to Philadelphia to Houston to San Antonio and back with a bunch of stops in between.

* You can't see very much in suburban Philadelphia from the roadways.  It seems most of them, including expressways, are cut through trees and hills from 200 years ago.  Regardless of how or when, it limits viewing, not to mention makes them seem narrow.  That said, some of them will end up taking you by cool, historic (or at least historic-looking) buildings or villages.

* Philadelphia and Houston are among the largest U.S. cities, roughly equivalent in population, but in classic eastern vs. western city fashion, Philadelphia feels so much more crowded.  Houston is so much more spread out, and unencumbered by a river border.

* People will scoff, but I love driving through the Flint Hills of the Kansas turnpike.  Nothing but bucolic pastures as far as the eye can see, many spotted with grazing cattle.  It's very calming.

* I found people in Houston to be very friendly, much more so than I expected.  Maybe I set the bar too low, assuming people in such a large city would be rude.  Still, most of my interaction with the locals there was pleasant, and that included not being honked at or flipped off when driving - even when I deserved it.

* I've felt for years that, pound for pound, Kansas City and Dallas have more architecturally interesting downtown buildings than any cities to which I've ever been.  This trip once again confirmed this to be true, although I'll add that the size and number of Houston's downtown skyscrapers are impressive, even better than Chicago's.

* I'll agree with anyone who says the interstate drive through Iowa is boring.  However, it's no more boring than the drive on I-35 through Oklahoma.

* San Antonio is genius in the way it has people enter and exit expressways.  It's hard to describe, but you're basically on a frontage road well before you actually need to get on/off.  At least I think it's genius, maybe it's actually stupid.

* On I-35 from Minnesota to the Texas-Oklahoma border, you can't drive 100 miles without going by a casino.  Does anyone but me notice or care about that?

We Can't All Be Valedictorians

Posting links isn't blogging, but in this case it's just too easy.

Steve King does it again!

Michele Bachmann has always done it!

RAGBRAI - 2013 Edition

Spent another two days this week on this year's 7-day Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI), entailing slightly more than 100 miles.  This year's observations:

* RAGBRAI needs more portable toilets on the front part of each day's ride.  There are plenty in the overnight towns, and in the daily halfway 'meeting' town.  But in the first 25 or so miles of the day, they can be very sparse, not including cornfields.  I propose they set up an area of 100 or so portable toilets around the 10-15 mile mark. This is where most riders, souped up on breakfast and/or coffee, need the break. Food and retail vendors would even help to pay for the cost, knowing there will be a logjam of riders there (pun very much intended).

* One of the most dangerous things about riding with so many others is actually going uphill.  My second day was very hilly, and so many people are barely pedaling or walking up these hills that you have a relatively unsafe blob of riders together, wobbling on bikes in a small area.  On most occasions, the better riders have to move way over to the left just to keep their cadence going and avoid a crash.

* Three years ago I blogged that there was hardly any pie on the ride anymore.  I'm happy to say there were several places selling a variety of fruit pie (yea for pineapple pie!) on the two days I rode.  One place even had fried pie on a stick - an awesome combination for riders.

* Speaking of food on a stick, one of the best RAGBRAI stops ever had to be the Iowa State Fairgrounds.  Yes, it was too close to the start of the day to get a huge crowd, but if ever there was a perfect venue for these cyclists, it was there.  Lots of food, shade, even indoor restrooms.  As I tweeted that day, the only thing out of place was that the riders were better dressed in their spandex than most usual fair goers!

* Speaking of stops, determining what will be successful is really part art, part science. I think the best strategy is being separate in the country, and together in the town. Vendors on the road who are too close to each other won't get big crowds, nor will places on the the edges of a town that has a centralized vendor area.  Having beer and music isn't enough to draw a good crowd anymore.  Being unique helps, but still, it has to be in the right location.

* My favorite team name was Team Brick.  Slogan: If it was well built, we laid it! And there was a tie for my favorite t-shirt.  One said, "Forecast for tonight: Beer. Low standards. Poor decisions. Beer." The other said, "Does this shirt make me look drunk?"

It was two days of carefree fun.  Is there any other kind?

License To Drive Wrecklessly

This month in Iowa, the media has reported on two events that confirm we have a two-class system. No, I'm not referring to the upper and lower economic classes.  I'm referring to government and non-government workers.

You see, it's come out that our governor-for-life Terry Branstad and his entourage don't have to worry about speeding when driving around Iowa.  His state trooper driver was clocked many weeks ago doing almost 90 miles per hour, and when another trooper tried to report it, he eventually lost his job.

Talk about hypocritical.  This the governor that's supposedly so concerned for Iowans' safety?  The governor who's putting all kinds of my tax money into a program to make Iowa the healthiest state in the nation? (Aside: That ain't going to happen in farm country.)  Hey Terry, stop putting the people who employ and pay you at risk by being late and allowing your driver to go an unsafe speed!

To top this off, now it's been reported that many government vehicles are being exempted from photo-enforced traffic violations.  3,200 license plates have this special exemption (they are not in the usual state license plate database), presumably because they may have a need to be anonymous - for example a law enforcement purpose.

The thing is, law enforcement equates to only a handful of these exempted plates.  How is it that folks who drive vehicles for agencies such as the Iowa Lottery need this exemption?  And regardless, are they not as dangerous to other Iowans if they are speeding or running red-lights?  At the least, it's dumb law.  At the most, it's probably unconstitutional.

And so the government-versus-private sector two-class system in Iowa continues.  You'd think the governor would do something about this scandal - if he wasn't so busy setting a bad example.

The Wedding Planner

My daughter got married last week.  There was a beautiful ceremony, followed by a feast and dancing.  A good time was had by all.

Now that I'm a veteran of helping put together a successful wedding and reception, I would recommend the following to all those who may one day do the same:

1)  Make sure you have a spouse who takes care of most of the details in the months leading up to the wedding.  I cannot stress enough how critical this is.

2)  Buy local.  That out-of-town caterer or photographer may be your favorite, but when the time comes, you'll want to communicate with them face-to-face, and not worry about the travel/time.

3)  Have a personal helper(s) at both the wedding and reception venues - someone whose sole responsibility is to help you with whatever needs to be done.  There is so much going on, you aren't going to remember the details of what needs to be done, much less have time to do them.  Also, there is going to be a lot of stuff that needs to be transported from the wedding to the reception, and from the reception to home.

4)  Try to spend time with family the day before the wedding.  They're going to want to talk to you on the wedding day, of course, but so will everyone else.  Get some of the conversations shared beforehand, and you won't feel as bad about not being able to talk to them afterward.

5)  Make sure you have a long pre-reception day meeting with person(s) responsible for the dance music, and make sure they play what you want and don't play what you don't want.  We did this, and it was a rock solid idea. You don't want a lame night of dancing to end an otherwise great day.

6)  Starting the week of the wedding, if any out-of-towners ask you for suggestions on where to go or what to do, ask them why they didn't ask sooner, and then suggest they use their smartphones and figure it out themselves. Shame on them, you have too much to do at that point to be bothered with their unrelated entertainment.

7)  Re-read Item 1.

The Benevolent Idiot

As soon as I heard about celebrity chef Paula Deen being exposed for using the n-word, I figured it was just another case of the electronic media catching a celebrity showing their true self.  Maybe another case of someone stupidly blurting out their inner monologue.  Maybe another case of someone deservedly losing their reputation and money.

Then the facts got in the way.  It wasn't a gotcha moment.  It wasn't even a dishonest moment.  It was someone under oath who admitted saying something truly ignorant years ago - ignorant meaning they really didn't know any better.

When it comes to Paula Deen, or anyone who's ever used the n-word, people need to factor in the era it which it was uttered and at least try to separate what's intolerant racism from what's ignorant racism.  Both are unacceptable, but to different degrees.  The intolerant racist is a malevolent hater, while the ignorant racist is a benevolent idiot.  Don't tell me they're the same.

We all want to be politically correct and say there's no defending what Paula Deen admittedly said many years ago.  But of course, everybody knows it's somewhat defend-able if you factor in what America was like up through the 1960s.  It's a cold hard truth that most 60+ year-olds today, across the socioeconomic and political spectrum, used the n-word back then.  They are not the problem; the problem is those who never got over using it.

So here we go again with another silly societal litmus test.  Am I and the rest of society to shun everyone who ever said the n-word?  We'd be excluding a helluva lot of people, including family.  Maybe instead we should be just be shunning those who haven't changed.  Or perhaps we should just shun any litmus tests that compare one era with another.

I don't know if Paula Deen is a racist, nor does anyone else.  I do know that like most people of her age and background, she was once a benevolent idiot about race.  Ignorance is no excuse, but let's keep the moral outrage at its appropriate level.

Getting School-ed - Update

As expected, the JCSD bond referendum passed yesterday by a relatively narrow margin on its second try - needed 60%, got 66%.

Also as expected, today I haven't heard a single satisfied supporter profess that they will no longer complain about unnecessary government spending and taxing.

Hypocrites.

Getting School-ed

On June 25th, for the second time in nine months, voters in my school district, the Johnston Community School District (JCSD), will be voting on a $41 million bond referendum to primarily build a new $81 million high school.  Unlike the last time, it'll probably pass, and if not this time, then there will be another time.

That's still no reason to vote yes.

As with virtually all such tax increase proposals that require voter approval, I heartily oppose this one.  I'm not denying that there may be a current / future overcrowding issue in some school buildings, but I am denying that it should take $112 million of taxpayer money to solve that.

(There's one of the many head-fakes that voters get on deals like this - the bonding covers $41 million, but other taxpayer funds / levies will cover the other $71 million.  That equals $112 million of our money, and I tabulated that without needing a new school facility to help me do it.)

If you want to know all about the referendum, and how the money will purportedly be spent, and the estimated cost to property owners, there's plenty of electronic or print information available, of course paid for by us JCSD taxpayers.  But if you simply want to know about how ironic-to-borderline-dumb it would be for Johnston school district taxpayers to support it, just read this:

1) After failing to pass the referendum nine months ago, JCSD changed the bonding amount from $51 million to $41 million - but not by cutting anything, only by deferring the $10 million to other taxpayer funded pools.  In other words, they cut absolutely nothing.  They apparently take us taxpayers for fools.

2) The $112 million doesn't include some very large ancillary future expenditures that are admittedly part of the long-term plan, such as a new football stadium.  You know, for educational purposes.  Are we just supposed to forget about that little item?

3) Voting to increase your own taxes is never a good idea.  Let's face it, it's a little bit crazy.  It's a lot crazy when you consider.....

4) School districts are often poor stewards of our money.

5) Given the current and future age of technology, what sense does it make to build expensive, huge, new brick-and-mortar schools?  Shouldn't we be planning on ways to bring classrooms to students via on-line and digital means?

6) More than a decade ago, with the support of JCSD, our own Polk County passed a local option sales tax (LOST) to increase sales taxes from 5% to 6% for a 10-year period to fund new school infrastructure.  That was the deal, ten years only.  Liars!  Less than ten years later, they and every other school district were already lobbying to extend the time, and ultimately in 2008, the state of Iowa simply went to a permanent 6% sales tax.  Why should we believe anything the JCSD tells us now about taxes, when they had no problem lying to us taxpayers a few years ago?

7) Did I mention that school districts are often poor stewards of our money?

Here's a final thing that gets to me about this goofy referendum - it's being largely supported by a very Republican-leaning district.  These folks want to tax others to benefit them and or their school children, regardless of whether those taxpayers will receive any direct benefit from the school.  In other words, thousands of folks who claim to hate the so-called socialistic ideology of the Obama administration, seem perfectly willing to support this socialistic measure.  It's another example of how some people only oppose taxes and government spending unless it's good for them, and they ought to be required to forfeit their Obama-bashing cards.

Fellow citizens of the JCSD - don't be duped!  A 'no' vote doesn't mean you oppose education, it means you support not letting others unnecessarily spend your money.  The tax-and-spend monster that is JCSD doesn't need to be fed, it needs to be starved.  We can do far better with far less than over $100 million.

The Lazy Days Of Summer, And Every Other Season

For many years, (at least as far back as the movie Trading Places), I've been a believer that the #1 influence on success in life is social environment.  Being born in America, to nurturing parents, middle-class, white - these are all things that matter a lot to success for my generation, whether we want to admit it or not.

Warren Buffett goes a step further, and simply calls it luck.  After all, our environment is the product of luck, since people have no control as to when or where or how they were born and raised.

It follows then, that if a healthy person was born with these favorable and/or lucky environmental characteristics, but is still an underachiever, there must be another reason why.  And after still more years, I've become a believer that much of it just boils down to laziness.

There are two types of lazy.  The first is just your plain, dumb, do-nothing lazy.  The second is more prevalent, yet harder to see.  It's the lazy person who only acts like and wants everyone to believe they're working.

Yet here again, it took many years for me to realize how many fake-working-lazy-people there are.  And here again, there are subsets.  One is the kind that does one small thing in a day, but takes that to mean they worked all day.  Another is the kind that does nothing but personal matters all day (e.g. personal email or Facebook posting), but assumes that's a day of work.  Still another is the kind that gets to work late, takes an extra long lunch, and then leaves early.

This laziness is only magnified by summertime, when our society collectively decides we should slow down our pace of work.  It's certainly a lot easier for the truly lazy to hide their work ethic in the summer.

Regardless of the manner and timing, it's basic laziness that determines the underachieving destiny of those born into a fortunate social environment.

All That Lying Got You Nowhere

I can't let this week pass without a tribute to U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, an always reliable member of the WOITH club.  This week, she released a web video announcement about how she isn't going to run for re-election.

Mixed feelings about this.  On one hand, it's good to get people with extremist views out of government.  On the other hand, I'm going to miss how much her dumb comments damaged others who shared her views.

This article from PolitiFact pretty well sums up her fundamental intellectual dishonesty.  In the larger sense, it reflects how the so-called Tea Party has devolved from a grassroots taxpayer watchdog group, into an extreme right-wing group with no chance of gaining a serious mainstream following.

But at least for a while, she won't go away yet in Iowa, where her pitiful 2012 presidential campaign and campaign manager have serious legal problems, related to how they handled their funds and their affairs.

Plus, it's only a matter of time before she becomes a Fox News commentator and/or lobbyist.  That's sure to keep us entertained for a while.

In the meantime, to U.S. Rep. Steve King, you're up!

Dear Graduating Class of 2013

I enjoyed writing last year's entry so much, it's now time for an updated version of my advice to this year's graduating class.  I'm going to stick with just college graduates this year, not only because one of my kids was one, but also since I don't think I can improve on my 2012 commencement message to high school graduates.

To make this year's message more universal, and in keeping with the educational theme, I'm going to make it multiple choice:

To the College Graduates of 2013:

Congratulations - [you / your parents / your banker] did it.  After [ 4 / 5 / 5+] years of [matriculation / partying / sleepwalking] , not to mention tens of thousands of [dollars / beers / hours of sleep] you have a degree.

You probably feel [good / great / overjoyed] about this accomplishment, and if you have a full-time job or have been accepted to graduate school, you should feel good.  But not too good, because now you still have to prove yourself to the [corporate / non-profit / academic] world.

On the other hand, if you have neither job prospects nor grad school plans, what the hell are you feeling good about?  You're over 22 years old, and you're likely going to be living with your [sibling / parents / 5 other unemployed friends].  Your life isn't getting better, it's getting [much / tons / overwhelmingly] worse.

Graduates, no matter what your plans are, it's time to take control of your own [life / bank account / destiny].  For some of you, this mean's you'll get to enjoy all of the [spoils / money / success] that capitalism has to offer. Unfortunately for the rest of you, this means a [low paying / hard labor / service industry] job, because you waited until now to take the controls.

Good luck, and above all, remember this:  You can't depend on [parents / government / wealthy friends] to get by forever.

Berky Meeting Nuggets 2013

Here's this year's summary of the best business meeting you'll ever attend, the Berkshire Hathaway annual shareholders meeting, held this year on May 4th and presided over by Chairman Warren Buffett and Vice Chairman Charlie Munger.  (Go here for 2011, and here for 2012.)

On the Federal Reserve’s moves to keep lending flowing by pushing rates low:

Buffett said that he backs the Fed’s chairman, Ben Bernanke, and notes that the policy hasn’t led to inflation.  But still, interest rates will rise, and it will be a “shot heard around the world.”

On the trillions of dollars in debt in the past few years:

Buffett said he was glad the response to the economic downturn hasn’t been austerity, which would have hindered any sort of recovery.  Munger, who’s more conservative than his friend, agreed.  Buffett did praise the prior president, pointing out in particular 10 words of wisdom from the financial crisis: “if money doesn’t loosen up, this sucker could go down.”  While the national debt remains troublingly high, Buffett said, “this isn’t the country’s toughest hour by a large margin.”

On beating an index fund by buying shares in the 20 best companies in the United States:

Buffett said the results would probably be similar, then launched into a bigger point that there are professional investors, and then there are amateurs who invest.  Being the former requires a lot of work and research, which many, many amateurs don’t have the time or inclination to do.  The main problem for most people, he said, is “trying to behave like a professional when you aren’t spending the time in the game needed to be a professional.”

On climate change:

Buffett believes that climate change is real, and he said that it’s a difficult thing for Berkshire’s insurance operations to account for.  Munger then added that what actually seemed to work was the high taxes that European governments have levied on motor fuel.  “I think they’ve stumbled into the right policy,” he said. “I think the United States should have way higher taxes on motor fuel.”

Let's Give Each Other An Award

Their is nothing wrong with being wealthy, and there's certainly nothing wrong with being philanthropically wealthy.  However, do super-wealthy people understand the subtle arrogance of their often public philanthropy?

I thought about this last week, while browsing a local quarterly magazine that markets to the affluent of central Iowa.  Among the advertisements for custom home builders, art stores, fine dining, and spas, there are socialite pictures of the Des Moines hoi-polloi attending various charity galas and award ceremonies.

It's undoubtedly true that many of these folks have donated big amounts of time and money to charities and other civic causes.  They are to be commended for that. Apparently, they feel the same way, because the pictures in the magazine show many of the same folks at every one of the these formal affairs.

The circle goes something like this:  An very wealthy executive is named to a charitable or civic board, and after a while they are honored for their service (read: money), for which they get an award at a formal ceremony, at which another wealthy executive there rotates up to replace them on the board, and the cycle begins anew.

Over a long enough period of time, these wealthy civic socialites end up giving awards to each other for their meritorious service.  It must be tough giving an acceptance speech when you've heard them all before.

I admire wealthy people who are genuinely philanthropic, and I suppose there's no reason to begrudge someone willing to be an award-winning figurehead from which more money can be raised.  For some, however, there is clearly an attention-seeking aspect to it all.

It's a little bit like adults seeking to be the king or the queen of the prom.  Isn't it enough just to be a part of it?

Her Name is Lolo, She Was A Track Star

This was Drake Relays weekend in Des Moines, and elite track athletes (along with select collegiates and Iowa high schoolers) descended upon the city at one of the premier track meets in America.  The field was especially good this year, with big prize money drawing many current and future Olympians.

Among the many elites was Des Moines' own Lolo Jones, the pride of Theodore Roosevelt High School.  Lolo was a great collegiate hurdler, who gained fame in 2008 as a favorite to win the women's Olympic 100 meter hurdles in Beijing, and led the final with two hurdles to go, only to clip the second-to-last one and not place.

This had to be one of the more devastating moments in recent Olympic history.  I mean, it could easily replace the falling ski jumper as the 'agony of defeat' visual on Wide World of Sports.  In the face of this, Lolo was determined to return 4 years later and get a medal.  Against the odds, she qualified for the 2012 London Olympics, and made the final, but ultimately did not place again.

Since the disappointment of 2008, Lolo has been known as much for attention she's gained off the track, from her good looks (modeling) to some controversial statements she's made in national interviews and social media.  More recently, she's become a member of the U.S. women's bobsled team, with a chance at an Olympic medal in that sport in 2014.

This has all led to some resentment from other track athletes, about the attention Lolo gets for not winning.  I used to think that was just jealously, and she deserved a break.  Until two things happened.

First, a few years ago an athletic trainer working at the Drake Relays told me what a diva Lolo was to work with.  Now this week, after not winning at the Drake Relays again (she finished 4th), Lolo complained to the media that there was always more pressure at Drake, so many demands on her time, it affected her performance.  She was sure there would be more haters out there.

C'mon now.  People want to like Lolo for all she's been through, including a tough childhood.  But let's face it, no one has made a better career out of not winning than Lolo has.  She chose to do that modeling, those interviews, her tweets, the bobsled deal.  If she feels her Q-rating is falling now, that's on her.

After London, one writer compared Lolo to tennis' formerly popular and attractive non-winner Anna Kournikova, which really wasn't fair because Lolo did win world titles.  The other difference, however, is that after a while, Kournikova went away, and didn't try to re-invent herself in later years as anything other than the mediocre pro tennis player she was.

I'd say it's time to stop keeping track (no pun intended) of Lolo.  I guess that makes me a hater.  I still wish good luck to her, but there are other athletes more worthy of attention.  In the meantime, here's my ode to Lolo, sung to the tune of 'Copacabana':

Her name is Lolo
She was a track star
But that was several years ago
When she used have the 'go'
Now she does bobsled
She's getting older
Not sure to cheer her or to boo
Let's all move on to someone new

Still Danger In Numbers

In honor of today, I give you something from last year.

One Man's Garbage

Lots of possible blog topics this week.  I could write about the idiot Boston Marathon bombers, or the idiot U.S. Senators that can't even bring themselves to vote on, much less pass, any form of new gun control legislation.

Instead, I choose to write about an annual rite of passage that occurred in my suburb this week, known as Spring Cleanup week.

Spring Cleanup is the one week every year that residents can put just about any kind or size of garbage on their curbside to be picked up.  Most residents do just that, throwing out appliances, electronics, lumber, etc.

Over the years, Spring Cleanup week has become a city-wide free garage sale.  Once residents start putting their stuff on the curb, soon there will be a lot of unidentified vehicle traffic circling the neighborhood.  Rough-looking strangers will emerge from their muffler-less pickups, swarming to curbsides in an attempt to be the first to drive away with treasures that can only be found in one man's garbage.

For the most part, these are benevolent strangers, who vary from for-profit scrap metal recyclers to your basic lower-class garage sale flippers.  And they will take virtually anything of value, even if it's old and/or damaged.

There is one problem, however, with their etiquette related to leaving things as they found them.  If I put a pile of junk near my curb, I don't want people rummaging through it and spreading my neat pile into a messy pile.

It may be junk, but let's keep it neat, people.

How To Win A Coin Toss

If you were told your odds of investing success were no better than a coin toss, how would you react?

Standard & Poor's recently published an annual year-end scorecard, called the Standard & Poor’s Indices Versus Active (SPIVA) report.  SPIVA compares the performance of active mutual funds versus their respective benchmark indices.  Not surprisingly, the results continue to favor the indices.

For the 5-year period ending December 31, 2012, 79% of actively managed U.S. equity funds failed to beat their benchmark index.  The percentage that failed for international equity and fixed income funds were 66% and 69%, respectively.  Put another way, the odds of picking an active fund that outperformed its benchmark were less than successfully calling a coin toss!

Unfortunately, these results do not fully paint the picture of active management's underperformance.  SPIVA’s return measurements do not take into account significant fees that most active mutual funds charge.  Additional costs include management expenses, commissions, and marketing fees, all of which further reduce returns.

This is another of a multitude of studies that reach the same conclusion:  Investors expose themselves to additional market risk from active managers' attempts to outperform a given benchmark – risk that is not compensated by higher returns.  Further, the higher costs associated with active mutual fund investing make the probability of outperforming the market extremely unlikely.

I have always advocated a different approach to investing, one that acknowledges what SPIVA confirms.  Specifically, allocating and owning a portfolio of passively managed, tax efficient, and low cost funds allow investors to capture the most that capital markets provide year after year.

Investors’ assets should not be left to chance.  By using a passive investing strategy, you can markedly and consistently improve the odds of investing success beyond the toss of a coin.

Best Song Lyrics (Part XII)

In today's world of 'popular' music, it seems the artist is either an individual or a group.  Back in the day, however, a lot of popular music was composed and/or performed by duos.  (Think Everly Brothers, Righteous Brothers, or more recently, Hall and Oates.)

Not many of the individuals who comprise these duos seem to end up with successful solo careers.  I suppose if they were good enough to be on their own, they'd have started out that way.  There is at least one notable exception: Paul Simon of Simon and Garfunkel.

It's well-documented that Simon was the songwriter of this duo, while Garfunkel was known for his vocal ability.  After they broke up in the early 1970s, Simon went on to a great solo recording career, with a some very popular songs mixed in with lots of other interesting vocal/instrumental ones.

But the Simon and Garfunkel era carries some of the best lyrical folk music ever made.  There's no denying the meaning of a song like Bridge Over Troubled Water but I will always prefer Sounds of Silence.  With five verses, and no chorus, it's songwriting at its finest:

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

Our Unstoppable Social Evolution

In the past week, there were at least 3 major news stories (two national and one local) about same-sex couples and the gay lifestyle.  How can I refuse to write about them?

The two national stories were U.S. Supreme Court cases, heard on back-to-back days.  One case was about the right of gays to marry, the other about gay marriage rights as they relate to the Clinton-era federal Defense Of Marriage Act.

The local story was another attempt by extreme Iowa Republican Party conservatives (I'm not sure there's another kind right now), to remove the governor's name from an anti-bullying conference.  Why?  Because they believe "anti-bullying" is a cover for promoting the gay agenda.  Yes, they actually think this out loud.  Not surprisingly, the effort is being led by WOITH Bob Vander Plaats, who can't be disgraced enough.

Regardless of how any of this turns out in the short term, in the long term it's once again time to remember a basic rule in America:  Society evolves on social issues.  There's no stopping it.

When we recognize something that hurts/helps society, we take action to disallow/allow it, respectively.  It may take years, or decades, but eventually, we get it right. 

It's going to take a while, maybe even another generation, but legislation allowing and expanding same-sex marriage in all states is going to happen.  Take it from someone who lives in a state where gay marriage has been allowed for years now - we've figured out it doesn't hurt us, it only helps us.

And so society evolves.

Literally, It's Figuratively Hyperbole

There's a famous scene in the movie The Godfather, Part III where Don Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) laments not being able to operate his 'business' empire more legitimately by saying, "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

Enter this week's latest Whacked Out In The Head moment from Michele Bachmann, who had gone quite some time without making national news for saying something stupid.  Just when I thought she was out, she pulled me back in with this quote, from a speech on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives about repealing Obamacare:

"That's why we're here.  Because we're saying, let's repeal this failure before it literally kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens."

Literally?  So she believes that a law/regulation, basically words on paper, will somehow animate and act to take a life.  Either she is very stupid about what inanimate objects can do, or very stupid about the definition of the word 'literally'.  (I say both.)

Makes me wonder why extreme conservatives like her even bother with the old, "Guns don't kill people" routine.  Guns literally can kill people, but if paper can do it too, we ought not be wasting time worrying about guns!

The sad thing is, the content of Bachmann's statement is already dumb enough.  How much more time will conservatives like her waste on repealing Obamacare?  Congress passed it, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld it, and voters re-elected the president responsible for it.  But she insisted on going the extra mile to expose herself as being stupid beyond the regular dumb, and used the word 'literally' where it made no sense.

Unfortunately, the incorrect and overuse of the word 'literally' these days is almost offensive.  I frequently correct both family members and strangers on how they use it.  These days, people commonly use it to intensify what they're saying, as opposed to actually using it properly.  In other words, it's being used as hyperbole.  Literally.

So thank you, Michele Bachmann, for allowing me to write about the misuse of the English language, while at the same time ridiculing you again.  Good to have you back.  Figuratively.

Post #200

Since July of 2009, I've been writing random thoughts out in this blog.  This is post #200, so just as I did with post #100, let's review some of what was covered in the last 100 posts, or basically the past two years.....

I spent a little time writing about the importance of certain singers and song lyrics.

I spent some time writing about finance and investing, which is the work I do for a living.

I spent a good deal of time writing about politics, particularly in 2012 as related to the presidential election.

I spent a bunch of time writing about people who are dishonest, how to identify them, and calling them out.

I spent too much time, but will probably spend more, writing about the moral hazards of religion.

I spent a lot of time, and will definitely spend more, writing about how taxpayers are being shafted by people in government who make selfish decisions.

A List

Ever since the USA Today newspaper made bits of information popular, and David Letterman made top ten lists popular, everybody tries to present news in the form of a list.  "Everybody" includes not only media outlets, but other organizations who are paid to create the list (either directly or indirectly through advertising) by the very entities they are listing.

As an example, last week something called the American Institute for Economic Research came out with a list of the best college towns in America.  Who knows what this institute actually does or why it exists - I looked at their web site and still couldn't figure it out.  But I know it creates lists.  It made news here because both Ames (Iowa State University) and Iowa City (University of Iowa) were on the list at number 2 and number 4, respectively.

So I've decided I don't want to be left out.  From time to time I'm going to blog some of my own lists.  Nobody asked me nor paid me for them, but since they are lists, they must have some meaning.

Here's my first one.....

Top Ten U.S. Places I've Never Been To But I Think Would Be Interesting To Visit:
10.  Tucson
9.  Hilton Head
8.  Lake Tahoe
7.  Yellowstone National Park
6.  Anchorage
5.  Augusta (Maine or Georgia)
4.  Portland (Maine or Oregon)
3.  Any city in Hawaii not named Honolulu
2.  New Orleans
1.  Key West

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

There are many iconic phrases given to us by the novel/movie Forrest Gump, e.g. "Run Forrest, run!" or "Life is like a box of chocolates."  The one that I've been pondering the past few days is, "Stupid is as stupid does."

I've never been quite sure what that phrase means, but I can think of at least one recent instance where it fits perfectly.  That is, in the case of last month's fake 'debate' in the Iowa legislature over medical marijuana.  (Yep, this in another blog post on the topic of pot.  Only the enlightened should continue reading.)

A legislative subcommittee just held a hearing on the topic of medical marijuana, which a new Des Moines Register Iowa Poll revealed is supported by a majority of Iowans.  That didn't stop the old white man who chaired the meeting from starting the hearing by saying, "Doing any bill.....that would legalize marijuana would be one of the stupidest bills that's ever been passed by this organization.  There is no reason to legalize medical marijuana."

Stupid is as stupid does, sir.

Before the hearing, I wonder how many legislators or their family members got their day started by taking an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, or anti-pain medication, or some other kind of mind altering drug?  And after the hearing, I wonder how many legislators went to one of the nightly lobbyist-sponsored receptions and had an alcoholic drink or two?

I'll bet the answer is, "Lots of them."  But please ignore the man behind the curtain, we have an intellectually dishonest argument to make.  Society has determined that legalizing those other mind-altering substances is perfectly fine, even though they may be addictive, routinely abused, and lead to dire consequences for other people.

Stupid is as stupid does, for sure.

So we won't even have a real debate about controlling and legalizing medical marijuana.  We will merrily go along another year in Iowa, not only ignoring the incontrovertible organic health benefits of marijuana for some, but also spending millions on anti-pot enforcement and criminal incarceration for others.  Iowa allows gambling, Iowa allows gay marriage, but somehow the social conservatives here continue to beat back progressives on medical marijuana.

Maybe Forrest Gump's mom can explain this to me, because he also once said, "Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them."

"And that's all I have to say about that."

Pictures From A Vacation, Sort Of

Went to Phoenix for a few days again last week, and lucked out with the weather again, too.  70-75 degrees and sunny every day.

This year's trip was much like last year in other respects as well, but a few new observations:

I highly recommend the Talking Stick Resort.

Visit Apache Junction, AZ for a trail-walking, ghost town-visiting, and saloon-imbibing good time.

There is no non-private golf course in the U.S. in better condition than We-Ko-Pa in Fort McDowell, AZ.

I gained firsthand knowledge of what a jumping cholla can do to a golfer if they aren't careful.  (Another reason to not hit the ball into the desert scrub.)

It sure seems easy to get around in Phoenix, it's spread out and there's lots of pavement for driving.  However, if you have trouble on the 101 or the 202, it's easy to get directions, like this.

Night At The Hospital

I recently spent a night as a visitor as a hospital.  This was my first hospital overnight since I was an inpatient at one over 12 years ago.

Outside of selected complimentary beverages, there are very few good things, if any, about spending the night at the hospital.  However, there are a number of bad things, beyond just being around sick people:

1) The random noises that interrupt the quiet.  Forget about a sound night's sleep.  If it isn't the beeping of the various medical devices, it's the nurses coming in every couple of hours to check vital signs or give medication.

2) The light pollution.  No matter how hard you may try to keep the light low, the above-mentioned nurses are going to walk in from the well-lit hallway.  Sometimes, if they have something to do, they're even going to turn the lights on in the room.

3) The antiseptic aroma.  Combine hand sanitizer, alcohol pads, and every other purification or cleaning agent known to man, and you might have a basic idea of what it smells like the entire time.  Not awful, but not potpourri either.

So in summary, a night at the hospital is going to be a benevolent assault on the senses of hearing, seeing, and smelling.  This is the sacrifice made to help get people well.

That's A Peach, Hon!

This weekend's stop on the PGA Tour was The AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am. That's the only  tournament where a national TV audience can watch a bunch of amateurs play alongside the pros, at one of golf's most beautiful and famous venues, no less.

Some of the amateurs are decent, but watching them this weekend I could only think of the following scene from Caddyshack:

Tony D'Annunzio: [caddying for the elderly Havercamps... to Mrs. Havercamp] Your ball's right over there, go straight.  You can't miss it. Mrs. Havercamp... Mrs. Haver... Mrs. Havercamp... you'll need this.  [hands her her club]

Mrs. Havercamp: Oh, I might at that!

Tony D'Annunzio: Mr. Havercamp, your ball's right over there, sir.  [Havercamp puts hand out for club, Tony hands it to him as he attempts to shoot away from the green]  No... Mr. Havercamp.  The green's right over there, sir.

Mrs. Havercamp: [knocking ball into the pond]  Whee!

Mr. Havercamp: That's a peach, hon! Oh, by golly... I'm hot today!  [he slices it and it barely misses Tony's head]

You must Google the scene for the full effect!