Pet Lover Hater

I do not own a pet. This does not mean I do not like pets; I could see owning a faithful dog one day. But I'm not really a pet lover.

Moreso, I'm not a pet lover lover. I have a long list of gripes with people who act like their pets are human. I'm not just talking about the owners that let their pet crap on the grass and not pick it up. I'm talking about the owners that dress their pets in cutesy outfits, feed them with designer food, buy insurance on them, and take them along wherever they go. That's a little weird, and a little pathetic.

Excessive pet love has infiltrated the media, too. This past week the top story on two local TV stations was about a sheriff's deputy who shot and killed a neighbor's dog after allegedly being threated by it. Who knows what the truth was, but WHO CARES, a pet story should never be the top story on TV news! And that happens fairly often. If there aren't any better stories about human joy or suffering in central Iowa or the nation to report on that day, then just go with a half-hour of weather.

It also kills me how many people literally compare taking care of their pets as being similar to taking care of children. Really? Do they feed and diaper their pets as babies? Do they kennel their children when they're gone? Do they educate - I didn't say 'train' - them? Gimme a break. Show me someone who makes that comparison and I'll show you someone who's never had kids. Or is out of their freaking mind.

Look, pets can be great companions, givers of unconditional love even. I'm down with that. But in addition to controlling the pet population, let's start controlling the pet lover population.