A Good Use Of Twitter (Redux)

Not quite three years ago, I blogged about using Twitter to share jokes, and listed a few of them.  I consider this one of the best uses for Twitter, at least as good as passing along information, and far better than the bullying, narcissistic activity for which most use it (including a certain president).

I follow several comedians / writers on Twitter, and I love to read short, smart jokes.  It works a bit better now that Twitter now allows 280 characters in stead of 140.  It's also fun to see professionals burn intellectually and ethically-challenged ideas and individuals (including a certain president).

The other day I came across a Twitter account that has archived their favorite jokes from what they considered the best Twitter jokers.  I had a great time laughing out loud to some of them, so similar to what I did in 2016, here are more of my favorites:

There's no I in anxiety. Wait. Yes, there is. Oh my god oh my god oh my god

The best part about being a walrus is probably never having to buy a staple remover.

Do you even know what condescending means?

I'll have a rum and coke

Is pepsi ok?

Whatever

*hands you a pepsi and a coke*

Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.

Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job.

2019

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?  No, it's time to again review the things I wanted to have happen this year, and consider some things I would like to see happen in 2019.  As usual, we start with the prior year's list, with comments in ALL CAPS:

-The failure of Bitcoin, not as an idea, but as an investment.
BITCOIN'S SHARE PRICE WENT FROM OVER $15,000 TO UNDER $4,000.  THESE DAYS, IT'S AN AFTERTHOUGHT.

-An NCAA scandal so large they will have to start allowing players a cut of revenues.
THERE WAS/IS A RATHER LARGE SCANDAL RELATED TO SHOE COMPANY REPS GETTING MONEY TO DIRECT AMATEUR BASKETBALL PLAYERS TO CERTAIN SCHOOLS.  BUT SO FAR IT'S ONLY LED TO A FEW COACHES BEING FIRED.

-More destinations and ways to fly on Southwest Airlines.
WELL, THEY ADDED A DIRECT DES MOINES - PHOENIX FLIGHT.

-A widespread ability to charge devices without a cord (also asked for this for 2016).
NOPE.

-A new governor / lieutenant governor elected for Iowa.
IT LOOKED LIKE THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE A SURPRISING DISAPPOINTMENT.

-Let's try this -- exponential growth in the cannabis industry to the extent all states will want a piece of it through taxation.
ALMOST READY TO SAY THIS HAPPENED.  [I JUST COVERED THIS IN MY LAST POST.]

-Greater national and international awareness of CRISPR (genome editing) technology.
THERE HAVE BEEN MORE NATIONAL STORIES ABOUT THIS.

-Smaller entree portions served in restaurants, for a reduced price.
THE PORTIONS MAY HAVE GOTTEN LARGER.

-Fewer national weather disasters, but more understanding of climate change.
ANOTHER ITEM THAT MOVED FARTHER AWAY FROM HAPPENING, NOT CLOSER.

-The resignation or impeachment of a mentally unstable and unqualified president -- again, no names.
CARRYING THIS ONE OVER TO NEXT YEAR.

Now, for 2019 I'd like to see these things happen:

The resignation or impeachment of a mentally unstable and unqualified president -- again, no names.

The electric vehicle becoming America's fastest growing (by percentage) seller.

Alabama and Clemson and New England to have poor football seasons.

Some major medical breakthrough, perhaps a vaccine to eliminate a dread disease.

Consistent, moderate summer rain in central Iowa.

A priest actually arrested and charged and jailed for past sexual abuse.

More cities allowing app-based scooter rentals.

Another scandal that ruins another Fox TV personality.

U.S. restaurants that allow payment by app, OR that bring the credit card reader to your table.

Me traveling to one of the five continental states in which I've never set foot.

High Time

It's been almost a year since I've blogged about legalization of marijuana, and I'm glad to report that more (slow) progress is being made.  Let’s recap.

Internationally, Canada legalized marijuana this year, leaving the U.S. in their socially progressive dust.

Nationally, after some additional November ballot approvals, eleven U.S. states have now legalized recreational marijuana use.  It isn’t just ‘liberal’ western states either; states like Michigan and Vermont have joined the enlightened minority that allow cannabis with the pleasant side effect of…..tax revenue.  (You thought I was going to say the pleasant side effect of sensitivity and relaxation?)

Meanwhile, at least 20 other states now broadly offer legal medical marijuana.  This should be the bare minimum allowance of any state.   So the good news is, over half of America gets it.

Unfortunately, the rest of America is still in a race to see which state can be the slowest and dumbest when it comes to legalizing pot.  A few of these states, including Iowa, now allow an extremely limited and convoluted way for medically-eligible people to obtain small doses of cannabis product.  It’s so limited, in fact, that it can’t even be considered a legalization of medical marijuana.

The hypocrisy on these non-legalization states gets worse by the day.  We still have a virtually unregulated opioid epidemic in the country, but people can still get prescriptions in those states for opioids with no problem.  And do I even need to make the point about legal alcohol consumption?  For example in Iowa, the regulators have gone out of their way to encourage home-based production and sale of beer and liquor – as if that’s not a mind-altering substance.

Today there is little doubt that most Americans at least want 1) medical marijuana to be legal, and 2) marijuana possession to be decriminalized.  In states that allow the public to vote on ballot initiatives, it’s now also become clear that most people believe in limited recreational sales and usage.

It’s only a matter of time before America legalizes marijuana, like its Canadian counterpart.  The only question is which state(s) will be the last, foolish ones not to do something before then.

Ten Years Of Not Being Thankful

The 10th anniversary of my Thanksgiving-time list of things for which I'm not thankful -- can it be so?  It thought about making this a 'best of the lists' list, but I have plenty of fresh ones in mind.  As always, you can get to the prior lists by following the Thanksgiving label on the blog:

Tariffs.

Esports and professional gaming.

Toilet paper set to roll out underneath instead of over the top.

Political rallies.

The 2018 NFC Championship game.

Dust.

Individuals using social media to promote themselves.

Voter suppression.

Movies based on comic books / characters.

Wildfires.

Neighbors who don’t rake their leaves.

Autocrats.

A Storm Field

A few weeks ago I attended a major college football game in which the home boys upset a highly ranked team.  This resulted in fans storming the field at game’s end, including yours truly.

I’ve been at several games like this over the years, where fans rushed the field, and I’ve seen and/or participated in these events enough to pass on a few tips based on my experience:

Don’t rush the field right away.  This includes not pressing up towards the field as the final seconds tick away.  That’s when the carnage, if any, will occur.  I recall several years ago seeing a fan preparing to rush the field and in the process bumping into a fan from another team; aggressive pushing and shoving ensued.  But that was nothing compared to fans who’ve been rocked by running onto the field and into the path of opposing players – players who were fully padded and helmeted, not to mention weighing close to 250 pounds.  So, avoid the initial wave – the stands are a better angle to view the players/fans interaction anyway.

Forget about the goal posts.  Back in the day, the main reason to storm the field was risking injury to take down one of the goalposts, to carry it away to an unknown location.  But for over ten years now, on one has cared about that.  Goal post technology has improved to the extent that humans alone aren’t going to move permanent goal posts.  Also, security is better about not allowing it.

Be ready to take pictures, especially for others.  This is the big thing now, pulling out the cellphone and recording that you were not only at the big game, but also on the field afterward with ten or twenty thousand of your new friends.  Some of those new friends want more than selfies, they want the wide shot, and if you can get the scoreboard in the background, that’s even better.

In summary, it’s better to let the college kids get out there early and have their fun.  Then, when they realize they’d rather be at the bar celebrating, everyone else can get out there and enjoy walking directly across the field.....to the parking lot.

The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker

I officially started my own business six months ago.  While I've had my own professional practice employment for nearly ten years, it was always couched inside a larger firm, and in fact I was technically an employee of that firm.  But now I'm on my own.

Until a full year has gone by, I won't have a clear view of what start-up decisions I made that I could've and should've done differently.  Like anything else in life, I know that with the experience I've had, I'd be better at it if I had another chance.

Having said that, I can make a few conclusions about starting a new venture.

It takes more time than you think.  There are so many unforeseen tasks, things like vendor contracting, record keeping, compliance, accounting, etc.  These things must be taken care of at the same time you're trying to work on activities that actually generate revenue.  So plan on plenty of extra hours.  (The fact I haven't been spending as much time on this blog is directly correlated to this time-suck.)

It costs more than you planned on.  There are a lot of one-time, initial start-up costs for any business.  Sometimes it's expenses on which you didn't plan.  Other times it's expenses that you planned for, but which cost much more than you thought.  Regardless, there's a good chance you've under-budgeted for these costs, so I might include a sub-heading to this section that says, "...so make sure you have a good banking relationship."

It takes a lot of self-motivation.  When you start your own operation, you aren't going to be motivated to work by other people, whether it be management or peers.  Nobody and nothing are going to be pushing you to accomplish anything.  You have to get up every day with a plan and ready to work, all without any guarantee of success.  You aren't going to accomplish the above-mentioned items without being self-motivated.

In summary, it isn't easy being the butcher, baker and candlestick maker.  I hope the next six months don't offer too many more lessons about starting a new business.

Rocky Mountain High

A relative's wedding in the Denver area gave me an excuse to spend a few days in Colorado recently.  I hadn't been there for any length of time since a week-long family vacation in the late 1990s.

I came back thinking I should spend a lot more time there.  What's not to like about the place?

It has cool cities.....Denver is hugely populated, but it's spread out enough not to notice, and it also has a pedestrian-friendly downtown, similar to Portland or Seattle.  Colorado Springs must be one of the largest cities in America without a bona fide skyscraper, helping make it visitor-friendly, with a great daily view of Pike's Peak.  I also spent time in the Denver-area towns of Golden (a modern day version of a formerly dusty western town) and Parker (a modern day version of a formerly sleepy bedroom town).

It has cool attractions.....The Red Rocks Amphitheater is a marvel of semi-natural modern architecture.  The Royal Gorge area is a mecca for active folks, including white water rafting and zip-lining, the latter which I did for the first time ever.  And don't forget about the mountains and ski resorts -- even in the summer, including the Breckenridge area that I visited for a few hours.

It has great weather.....The air is light and the sun shines 300+ days a year.  Sure, it snows in the winter, but it doesn't get bitterly cold, at least not for extended stretches.

And last but not least, it has free-minded enough people that it allows the sale of recreational marijuana.....This cannot be discounted.  Keeping some cannabis / edibles in the house is no different than having a six-pack of beer in the refrigerator.  Except that the cannabis is safer and healthier.