No Thanks Again

Here's my 8th annual Thanksgiving list of things for which I am not thankful.  You can get to the trail of prior lists here or by using the label 'Thanksgiving' on the blog.

As always, this list is in no particular order:

Donald Trump.

People with low IQs.

Fake news, and those on social media who swallow it.

Electronic dance music, and the mostly no-talent celebrity DJs who play it.

Injuries to star players on your team.

The Zika virus.

Christmas lights that are illuminated before Thanksgiving.

Christmas lights that aren't taken down until the Spring, or never.

Kanye West

Fuel pumps that ask multiple questions before allowing you to pump fuel.

'Interviews' on the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon.

People with the overwhelming urge to discuss their personal life without prompting.

The Bandwagon Is Full

As I write this, it’s presidential Election Day in America.  And to help me get celebrate the end of the seemingly never-ending campaigns, I’m going to write about how it’s like…..bandwagon fans.

Last week, the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time since 1908.  I’m not a Cubs fan, and frankly baseball is at best my 4th favorite team sport behind football, basketball, and even hockey.  (I’ve made blog entries in the past about how the baseball establishment has ruined baseball.)  But the Cubs’ triple-A team, the Iowa Cubs, play in Des Moines, and I’ve seen many of the players in past trips to those games, so even I was sort of rooting for those lovable losers.  (Also, it makes me feel better because I’d like to think that once in my lifetime, another perennial losing team called the Minnesota Vikings will win the Super Bowl.)

During and after the Series, there were somewhere between thousands and millions of people claiming to be long-suffering Cubs fans.  And while many of them were, some of them were not.  A lot of those so-called long-time fans couldn’t name even a couple of the players, nor had any clue as to how well the Cubs did in the regular season.  They were bandwagon fans, trying to attach their sorry souls to a contender they really don’t care about, giving them an excuse act silly and feel good about themselves.

Those fans drive me nuts.  They act like they care, but they don’t actually know enough to care.

In a way, it’s a metaphor for this year’s presidential election.  Millions of people are going to vote today, and lots of them know virtually nothing about the candidates, nor the issues they’ve been campaigning about for the past year.  They just know that a big contest is afoot, and they’re going to attach their sorry souls to a contender they really don’t care about, giving them an excuse to act silly and feel good about themselves.

Those voters drive me nuts, too.

Too Old To Party

How old is too old to brag about how hard you partied?

Over the course of the year, I've been to a number of gatherings that included adults in their 50s or 60s.  These include things like game tailgates, wedding receptions, recreational outings, and your run-of-the-mill gatherings at a bar or house party.

It occurred to me recently that when reminiscing with others about these events, someone invariably talks about how they or someone else had too much alcohol to drink, and maybe did something silly or embarrassing.  While there's nothing wrong with that (as long as no one did anything illegal), this seems like a conversation that shouldn't happen that often for people over age 50.

Sure, in your 20s or 30s or even 40s, it's practically a right of youth to celebrate life to -- or even a bit beyond -- the edge.  But c'mon, bragging about partying when you're nearing retirement is something your kids should be doing, not you.  It makes the bragger seem like they've been stuck in a rut their whole life, still trying to relive the good old days when their crazy behavior was celebrated.

If a person has so little in life to be happy about they still need to try to prove their ability to drink and party too hard in their AARP years, it's time for them to let it go.  No one else really cares, and it isn't good optics those around them, both during and well after the occurrence.

The Pacific Northwest

I recently returned from a week-long trip by car from Napa Valley, California to Seattle, Washington.  So many observations:

* There are A LOT of wineries in the Napa / Sonoma, California area.  I assumed they numbered in the dozens, but it's actually in the hundreds.  You can't tour / taste at all of them, but you can at most.  There's a stretch on the main road through Napa where they're lined up like suburban strip malls, one after another.  Also, did you know you can make white wine from pinot grapes?  Me neither.

* As expected, there are incredible, cliff-by-the-ocean vistas along the Pacific Coast Highway in northern California.  There are also some crazy, hilly, twisting routes that can get annoying after a while.

* Apparently it's a thing for cyclists to make epic, multi-day trips from north-to-south along that highway.  I saw dozens of riders hauling heavy gear who were navigating those crazy roads,  There were also plenty of signs to make drivers aware of them.

* It's also apparently a thing for campers and RVs to make the same north-to-south camping trek, and there were many camping and RV parks along the road for them to stay at overnight, or longer

* Farther north in California, especially just south of the Eureka area, the road becomes a long, winding stretch over and through small mountains, thick with tall trees.  There isn't much civilization along this stretch, and what small 'towns' you see aren't ones you're likely to spend a lot of time in.  Let's just say if I had to summarize the area in a word, it would be "Uni-bomber-like."

* Once the highway crosses into Oregon, the cliffs along the ocean turn into sand dunes, and beaches become more accessible.  (For golfers like me, don't forget to stop at the famous Bandon Dunes Golf Resort, the most Scottish looking course in America.)  Again, lots of campers and RV parks, but now you start to see some boats and marinas   When you can't see the ocean, all you see is trees.  Tall trees.  Everywhere.

* It was this area that I finally realized something about all of the towns in northern California and southern Oregon, at least the towns large enough to have schools.  The school buildings were sad.  Never saw a single one that looked newer, and most of them looked like re-purposed buildings that were decades old.  It's basically the opposite of the big new schools you see in Iowa, ever since we passed what became a statewide sales tax levy for school infrastructure.

* Oregon definitely rivals Colorado as the most cycling-friendly state.  There were bike lanes everywhere, not only in big cities like Eugene and Portland.  Many signs warned about cyclists being present.  There was even a bridge where a cyclist could push a button, setting off a warning light to let vehicles know there was a cyclist on the bridge.

* The entire state had a laid-back feel, but somewhere between the rural Oregon coast roads and the interstate-connected cities of Eugene and Portland, the culture changes from laid-back country to laid-back hippie.  Both seem slow-paced, but I preferred the relaxed, knit-stocking-cap wearing hippie vibe.

* The drive from Portland to Seattle would be unspectacular, if it weren't for seeing Mt. St. Helen's and then Mt. Rainier towering to the east.  The weather was so good, it was no problem seeing Mt. Rainier the last few days of the trip.

* At the famous Pike's Place Market in downtown Seattle, there is more fresh fruit, seafood, and flowers than some people might see in their entire lives, all reasonably priced.  And yes, I saw them throwing fish.

* Seattle isn't technically on the Pacific Ocean, but the Puget Sound makes for lots of shoreline, with beachfront real estate and great views.  Like Portland, I found it to have friendly people, and it seemed easy to get around.  Also:  lots of coffee shops with people wearing layers of dark clothes.

Saying No To The Book

I'm a financial planner.  I've been doing this for going on 10 years now, after more than 20 years of working for financial organizations.  I have great clients and my practice has had great growth, at least by my standards.  I'm content.

But based on the writings of many successful financial planners ('the book' as I call it), I should be trying to ramp up by adding staff and other advisors, and marketing more heavily.  I need to turn my financial planning 'practice' into a 'firm' and if I don't, I'll be ruined.  I'm supposedly not doing it right.

The thing is, based on 'the book' I shouldn't have been able to build a fairly successful practice.  If fact, if I hadn't followed 'the book' when I first became a financial planner, I'd believe I'd be much better off now than I am.  (It's occurred to me more than once that perhaps one of the reasons 'the book' says to add staff is, the so-called successful advisors who wrote it weren't smart enough to know how to do their own paperwork, or make their own decisions.)

So I have two possible paths now.  One, to slow down growth, and enjoy the practice and the balance it provides to my life.  Or two, pursue more growth, probably make more money, work longer hours, and end up managing other support staff, advisors, and the headaches that go with a large firm.

Choosing option #1 is easy for me.  My kids are grown and independent, and I live a comfortable if not affluent life. My focus is much more on health and having time to enjoy life more.  I want my practice to be something I can and want to manage.

It's easy for me to ignore 'the book' now, to say yes to life, and no to more money and more work.  The hard part was knowing when not to listen to what people / 'the book' tell you to do.

RAGBRAI - 2016 Edition (Belated, With Complaint)

I wasn't going to write about the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI) this year.  I did come out of my self-imposed RAGBRAI retirement to ride one 50+ mile day with my daughter and her friend, but it was a relatively uneventful day, and I didn't think there was enough new things to add to my prior years' summaries.

Since then, I've had a another cycling-related issue come up to complain about, so I figured I'd include everything in one blog post.  Turns out this week was also the second anniversary of my last (and hopefully only) biking crash, so cycling is on my mind.

First, the 2016 RAGBRAI observations:

* I rode on Thursday this year, later than any day in the week I ever had as an adult.  I get the feeling that fewer people actually ride later in the week.  The weather was great, and the day was short, so I think this is a rational explanation for what, from my perspective, was fewer riders.

* Here may be another reason for fewer people:  Proximity of the ride.  The far southern Iowa route doesn't lend itself well to a daily ride of 10,000+ cyclists.  There are fewer towns, ergo fewer people to join the ride for a day, and even fewer roads for the route and its many support vehicles.  Frankly, RAGBRAI should permanently keep the ride north of Interstate 80, and then from time-to-time just send some of the ride proceeds to southern Iowa towns.  Win/win.

* Best sign this year was next to a cornfield late in the day's route, which declared it was the last chance to use the "World's Largest Transgender Bathroom."  (By the way, this is another negative about going through southern Iowa, where it's about 85% pastureland and only 15% cornfields.)

* Worst thing I saw this year was a roadside, trashy-looking acreage with a double-wide trailer and, ugh, a large confederate flag.  Really?!  That was not good optics for RAGBRAI or for Iowa.  It screamed ignorance.  I'd have given almost anything to see a team of riders raid that yard and destroy that flag.

* Still no pineapple pie anywhere.

Now for my complaint.  A lot of effort goes into the 'Ride Right' theme of RAGBRAI and large group cycling, where riders are encouraged to use proper hand signals and call out bike movements and stoppages.  That's great, but some cyclists are taking it too far.  I saw some getting upset at other riders who didn't live up to their "Ride Right' expectations, without factoring in that there are hundreds, maybe thousands of others on RAGBRAI who simply don't ride enough to know the rules.

Worse yet, some cyclists were yelling at drivers of vehicles who they deemed to not be properly sharing the road.  I saw it again this week when I was on a ride, where another cyclist got angry that a car didn't stop for him at an unmarked crosswalk.

C'mon now, you cyclist-douche bags.  I get that too many cyclists are being injured or even killed by careless drivers -- I have to make minor defensive maneuvers virtually every time I go for a ride.  But instead of cursing at the darkness, maybe just worry about continuing to make yourself a great example.  Be an ambassador of good, not evil, and always remember that in a  battle between the vehicle and the bicycle, the vehicle will win 100% of the time.

It's Like I Always Say

Over the years, I've had quite a few sayings that I've become fond of repeating.  For the most part, outside of my spouse and children, no one would know these quotes.

Now that I've just had another birthday, I'm getting old enough that I want to put these in writing.  I do this below knowing it will be a working list, I expect to add to it:

* There’s nothing wrong in living your life with a quiet confidence in what you’re doing.  [Social media and reality TV have ruined this concept.]

* There are no bad kids, there are only bad parents.

* No one is completely useless, because even useless people can be used as a bad example.

* He who lives with the afflicted, also suffers.

* Sometimes the reason a person does things is the same reason a dog licks his balls -- because he can.

* When you blame yourself, you feel like no one else has the right to blame you.

* If you aren't going to have an opinion about things, why bother waking up in the morning?

* People who don't support medical marijuana don't believe in evolution.