Winning The Family Feud

It’s long been an axiom that family and politics don’t mix.  This has never been more true than in the past year, with the unexpected election of a polarizing president – and that’s saying the absolute best thing I can about what happened / what’s happening in America.

Even amongst families, there seems to be no bridging the current ideological divide that has been forged by Fox News, Trump, and the Republican Party.  It’s crazy, because none of those aforementioned things even mattered to the general public until recently.

Since the last national election, I’ve been at a few gatherings of immediate family members.  When social and/or political matters have inevitably come up in conversation, I’ve been very good about quickly changing the subject.  (My favorite line is, ‘So who do you think is going to win the [name sports division here]?”)  Changing the subject is better than silence, lest someone mistake that silence as a tacit agreement about anything being said.

I suppose it was just a matter of time, however, before I heard one of my relatives say something racist or homophobic or xenophobic or misogynistic to the point I could no longer bite my tongue. That happened last week.

So I spoke back at them, trying to expose their beliefs as unacceptable in today’s society, and definitely unacceptable in present company.  (By ‘present company’ I refer to me, but there were several other family members in the room, none of whom were willing or able to engage in a sociopolitical conversation.)

At first, I tried to make my points in a passive-aggressive way, with sarcasm and mocking.   Not surprisingly, that resulted in the other person getting defensive, and doubling-down on their hate speech.  So I stepped up my game to equal their verbal aggression, making much more salient and intellectual points.

But of course, that’s where the ‘conversation’ went off the rails and crashed into an awkward silence, because you can’t argue with another person who is unable to recognize – much less agree with – demonstrable facts.  I knew we’d reached that point when the other person claimed Fox News was actually anti-Trump.  Good god, not even Fox News or Trump agrees with that.

So what was the outcome of this family strife?  I simply declared victory by ignoring the other person.  It was a great moment for rational minds.  #Winning!

It's Not A Choice

Last week, the latest social culture conflict hit the Catholic high school my kids attended.  Specifically, a gay teacher/coach was fired when the school poo-bahs suddenly(?) discovered that he lived an "openly" gay lifestyle.

This firing is legal for private institutions in Iowa.  Which is beside the point.  The point is, somehow our society still tolerates discrimination based on sexual orientation.

It took a very long time, but America finally figured out that it was wrong to discriminate based on gender and race.  Of course, it still occurs, but it isn't socially acceptable.  And as we go through future generations, that discrimination will occur less and less.

While great strides have been made to stop discrimination against gays, there is a very long way to go.  This is evidenced not only by this high school's action, but by some of the support they got for it.  I consider some of these supporters to be level-headed people.  What do I see that they don't?

Here it is:  They, like so many others, do not understand or accept that being gay is not a choice.  That's really all there is to it.  If you accept that people's sexual orientation is who they are, in the same way that gender or race are a given, then the discrimination becomes obvious -- and embarrassing, and infuriating, etc.

One day soon, society will not tolerate what went on at this high school and elsewhere.  We won't consider protections for sexual orientation to be 'special rights' or otherwise.  We'll look back and ask how any of this could have happened as late as 2015.

In the meantime, let's hope people figure out that it's wrong to be unfair to others who are born a certain way.