On Turning 60

I turned 60 years old last week.  Much like my 40th and 50th birthdays, I've been very contemplative about it.  I'm mainly trying to determine how my life is different, for better or worse, than I thought it might be when I was younger.

It's easy to come up with the 'worse' part.  In your 20s and 30s, if you're thinking about the future at all, you're thinking of a lot of nice material things, like big houses and luxury cars and destination vacations.  You might be thinking of having a family, but you aren't worried about that deterring you from the material things.

Of course, the reality for most of us is we don't get all of that.  With hard work and good luck, you achieve some of those goals, but ultimately you realize there's a big difference between goals and dreams.

Meanwhile, I always conclude the 'better' of it is the non-material things.  Family.  Friends.  Health.  I'm old enough now that I don't care about having the biggest house or the nicest toys.

In fact, thanks to the lessons of time, it's a good feeling to not care so much about things that now seem trivial.  I still have goals (and dreams), but now the list is shorter.  Much shorter.

I said the same thing at 60 that I did and 40 and 50.  Achieving a new decade -- age itself -- is a gift.  I'm very satisfied with that.

Winning The Family Feud

It’s long been an axiom that family and politics don’t mix.  This has never been more true than in the past year, with the unexpected election of a polarizing president – and that’s saying the absolute best thing I can about what happened / what’s happening in America.

Even amongst families, there seems to be no bridging the current ideological divide that has been forged by Fox News, Trump, and the Republican Party.  It’s crazy, because none of those aforementioned things even mattered to the general public until recently.

Since the last national election, I’ve been at a few gatherings of immediate family members.  When social and/or political matters have inevitably come up in conversation, I’ve been very good about quickly changing the subject.  (My favorite line is, ‘So who do you think is going to win the [name sports division here]?”)  Changing the subject is better than silence, lest someone mistake that silence as a tacit agreement about anything being said.

I suppose it was just a matter of time, however, before I heard one of my relatives say something racist or homophobic or xenophobic or misogynistic to the point I could no longer bite my tongue. That happened last week.

So I spoke back at them, trying to expose their beliefs as unacceptable in today’s society, and definitely unacceptable in present company.  (By ‘present company’ I refer to me, but there were several other family members in the room, none of whom were willing or able to engage in a sociopolitical conversation.)

At first, I tried to make my points in a passive-aggressive way, with sarcasm and mocking.   Not surprisingly, that resulted in the other person getting defensive, and doubling-down on their hate speech.  So I stepped up my game to equal their verbal aggression, making much more salient and intellectual points.

But of course, that’s where the ‘conversation’ went off the rails and crashed into an awkward silence, because you can’t argue with another person who is unable to recognize – much less agree with – demonstrable facts.  I knew we’d reached that point when the other person claimed Fox News was actually anti-Trump.  Good god, not even Fox News or Trump agrees with that.

So what was the outcome of this family strife?  I simply declared victory by ignoring the other person.  It was a great moment for rational minds.  #Winning!