In honor of golf season, I bring you more quotes from greenskeeper Carl Spackler:
"I have to laugh, because I've outfinessed myself. My foe, my enemy, is an animal. And in order to conquer an animal, I have to think like an animal, and, whenever possible, to look like one."
"This [grass] is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus belt that night on this stuff."
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