If It Walks Like A Duck.....

There are so many reality shows on TV these days, nobody could possibly watch them all.  I'll watch one or two, but I don't watch any that glorify the dumb hillbilly persona, such as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Moonshiners, or everybody's current favorite, Duck Dynasty.

Today, Duck Dynasty is in trouble because the patriarchal member was openly quoted in GQ magazine saying some bad things about "homosexuals" and the gay lifestyle.  The show's network (A & E) is distancing itself from the comments, acting shocked (shocked! I tell you) that he would say such insensitive things. Conversely, the Duck Dynasty family and thousands of the show's fans are rallying around him, claiming he has a right to express his religious beliefs.

There are so many great things about this:

1) Screw A & E.  They struck gold by signing up and making famous a bunch of dumb Louisiana hillbillies, and they didn't consider that eventually, one or more of these idiots would say something insensitive?  They deserve all of the bad publicity they get, from both sides.

2) Screw the Duck Dynasty family.  They've had way beyond their 15 minutes of fame, and have been made rich by their stupidity.  Now the same thing that made them famous, their back-ways hillbilly-ness, is going to crucify them.  No one should feel sorry for them, and they probably don't want that from anyone, which leads me to.....

3) Screw the show's supportive fans.  No one would be complaining if this guy had simply said his religious beliefs did not support gay lifestyle, and that was his opinion.  But what he said in GQ (plus what has also been released on video from a church speech he gave) was completely mean-spirited and intolerant.  It's the real(ity) him, not the fake media version of him, and likely what the rest of the family believes.

At least one good thing might come from all of this - one less hillbilly reality TV show!

Bad Business

Years ago when I worked for a trade association, the powers-that-be (?) insisted that the annual meeting begin with a prayer. This might have been harmless except for the fact that the prayer was never non-denominational - the prayer-giver always invoked the name of Jesus Christ.

I always complained about this, not because I'm not Christian, but because it was ignorant. We were not a Christian organization - why assume everyone else was? It was pretty simple to conclude that not everyone in the room believed in JC, much less in God, and to throw this prayer in their face was just plain bad business.

With this as a backdrop, over the past few years I've paid particular attention to businesses that show their religious and/or political colors. Of course, it's OK for a private business to do that, but it is also relentlessly dumb to offend potential customers.

My best contemporary example of this has to be those businesses who insist on showing Fox TV in their public areas. First, let's agree on what Fox TV is - a conservative, Republican-leaning broadcast network. Everyone knows this. Fox is to 'fair and balanced' journalism as 'The Beverly Hillbillies' is to a fair and balanced depiction of life in Beverly Hills.

So if a business has Fox on their TVs, one can safely assume they are conservative, Republican-leaning folks. That's fine, but that also tacitly means they don't care to have non-conformists as customers. At least that's what it means to me, and I'm happy to oblige them. It's crazy. Just put the TV on the Food Network or some other benign channel, and I won't think twice about patronizing your business.

Take this weekend, in which I spent time in a corporate tent at a golf outing. The Golf Channel was on every TV but one - which was on Fox. Now, I'm certain I was around a bunch of Republican-leaning folks, but to assume all of the clients there were of the same political/conservative bent is dumb. If people want the news, the can go somewhere else, or use their smart phones.

I don't know, maybe I'm making too much of this, but I think there is a lesson here for businesses: Don't assume everyone else believes the same things that you do.

Deadbeat Lottery Winners Are Still Losers

This week a (stereotype alert) gapped-toothed hillbilly from Missouri won a $250 million lottery jackpot. I've got nothing against bad teeth, hillbillies, Missouri, or jackpots, but let's take a closer look at how this happened.....

The GTH (gapped-toothed hillbilly) bought his $5 ticket at the end of his shift at the convenience store where he worked. In the same purchase he also bought himself some cigarettes, so let's just say that was another 10 bucks.

Seems innocent enough - until you factor in the GTH 1) was also way behind on his electric and gas bills; 2) had less than $30 in his bank account; 3) owed $1,000 to a friend on a truck he recently bought, and 4) apparently has three children to support, along with his girlfriend's two children.

A quick analysis - the GTH had no money to pay bills or to care for his kids, and was deeply in debt to a friend, but still figured he'd spend half his life savings on a lottery ticket and cancer sticks. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!

The moral of the story is, even if you are a deadbeat GTH who should be paying bills instead of gambling, you could still win the lottery. Also, lending practices in this country are even more lax than we thought, since this GTH found someone dumb enough to loan him $1,000 he could never repay - unless he won the lottery.

I can only think of one good thing to come of this - we've got one less person/family who will be using the social services saftey net. As the GTH might say, "Yippee!"