2020

Another year is ending, this one also concluding a decade.  It would be a good time for a retrospective piece on the past ten years, but lots of other entities are doing that.  I'll just stick to my usual review of the things I wanted to have happen this year, and consider some things I would like to see happen in 2020.  We'll again start with the prior year's list, with comments in ALL CAPS:

The resignation or impeachment of a mentally unstable and unqualified president -- again, no names.
IMPEACHMENT HAPPENED.  I CARRIED THIS OVER FORM THE PRIOR YEAR, WHICH TURNED OUR TO BE VERY PRESCIENT.

The electric vehicle becoming America's fastest growing (by percentage) seller.
THIS IS HAPPENING IN THE U.K. BUT NOT IN THE U.S.

Alabama and Clemson and New England to have poor football seasons.
THEY WEREN'T POOR, BUT ALABAMA AND NEW ENGLAND AT LEAST HAD DOWN YEARS.

Some major medical breakthrough, perhaps a vaccine to eliminate a dread disease.
NO.

Consistent, moderate summer rain in central Iowa.
YES.

A priest actually arrested and charged and jailed for past sexual abuse.
THIS DID HAPPEN IN PENNSYLVANIA.  IT WAS TOO PREDICTABLE, AND NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.

More cities allowing app-based scooter rentals.
WHILE MORE CITIES DID ADOPT THEM, OTHER CITIES STARTED TO RESTRICT THEM.

Another scandal that ruins another Fox (News) TV personality.
NOT REALLY, ALTHOUGH THE PRIOR SCANDALS AND CURRENT PROPAGANDA AT FOX DID CAUSE SHEP SMITH TO LEAVE.

U.S. restaurants that allow payment by app, OR that bring the credit card reader to your table.THIS STILL HASN'T RECEIVED WIDESPREAD U.S. ADOPTION, WHICH IS SORT OF INFURIATING.

Me traveling to one of the five continental states in which I've never set foot.I WAS ABLE TO CROSS OFF NORTH CAROLINA AND SOUTH CAROLINA FROM MY LIST.  DOWN TO IDAHO, MICHIGAN, MONTANA, AND NORTH DAKOTA.  (IT WAS ACTUALLY SIX.).

Now, for 2020 I'd like to see these things happen:

Me traveling to the final four U.S. states in which I've never set foot.

A new president-elect and a corresponding surviving, independent, democratic republic.

More chances to make a hole-in-one (which means more time to play golf).

Widespread acceptance of plant-based meats on restaurant menus.

The Minnesota Twins to break their streak of 16 consecutive playoff game losses.

Consolidation in the video streaming service industry.

A Summer Olympics without scandal.

Greater federal regulation of Facebook, and less people using it to show me pictures of their food.

A new artist who brings back the sound of classic rock.

That I never order from a bar that tells me it has no Crown Royal Apple.

Judgement Day

Until this month, I can only think of one other time in my life when I was asked to judge some type of contest.  That was at least 20 years ago, when I judged written essays in a small scholarship competition.

I got to experience another form of judging this month at the Iowa State Fair.  For over two decades, my spouse and daughters have been entering food baking competitions there.  This year, we decided we wanted to see what it was like on the other side of the table, so we sponsored our own category.  This not only allowed our family to choose the category, but also choose the judges -- us, of course.

Months ago, we decided our competition would be chocolate raspberry dessert, and we provided our clever category name:  Death By Chocolate Raspberry.  This choice was largely based on my own bias for that type of dessert.  To ensure we'd have some entries, we put up $100 in prize money -- $60 for first, $30 for second, and $10 for third.

Judgment day came, and we were pleased to have 14 state fair entries with plenty of variety.  There were chocolate raspberry cheesecakes, cupcakes, brownies, and more.  As with most food categories, the entries weren't judged solely on flavor.  We had decided to use three criteria: 50% of the points were based on taste, 25% on appearance, and 25% on creativity.

Influenced by both time and a desire to not get sick, we judges divided the items among us, selected our favorites (the highest point-getters), and then got together to determine the best of the best.  In the end, a mocha chocolate, raspberry-filled cupcake came out on top, and a great time was had by all.

I hope to be a judge in the future for this or another Iowa State Fair food category.  Like anything else, after having experienced it for the first time, I'd be much better at it the next time.  Knowing what to look for in the recipe / item, what to say (or not to say) on the entrant comment cards, and how to consistently score different types of entries will all be more second-nature to me.

Also, I like eating.

Strange Bundt Clever

The other day a new business opened nearby called Nothing Bundt Cakes.  It’s a national franchise that makes – you guessed it -- cakes.  I’ve known about the business for a while, having seen one a few years ago in a larger metropolitan area.

This got me thinking about clever names or taglines that businesses come up with to promote their brand, and whether it was effective.  There’s probably no long-term reason to believe a catchy name makes a big economic impact.  In the end, and a business isn’t going to grow without providing good value, no matter what the business name might be.

Regardless, this led me on a quick Google search that resulted in other great examples.  Here are just a few more related to food:

• Award Wieners  (Includes an even more clever tag line of “Best Wiener In A Supporting Roll.”)
• Pita Pan
• The Codfather
• Planet of the Grapes (wine store)

There are undoubtedly many other local food / retail stores that have punny names, some that may use more colloquial terms.  However, you don’t find many clever names outside of those industries.  I suppose those who work in ‘more serious’ trades such as finance or health care are as likely to lose consumers by doing that than they are to add them.

Years ago I came across a consulting business that had an incredibly coincidental, if not clever name.  It was an energy consulting firm that specialized in alternative energy, especially wind energy.  The firm, which still exists today, is called Wind Utility Consulting.  It’s headed by its owner – Tom Wind.

He didn’t have to think very hard about what to name his company.

When Being Close Counts

I attended another Iowa State Fair this year.  It’s only a small exaggeration to say every time I go, my dozen or so hours there are segmented into roughly 30 minutes each, during which I visit the same exhibits and venues that I do every year.

However, I do try to take in something different every year (besides new fair food).  Last year, it was arm wrestling.

This year’s new thing was spending about an hour watching horseshoe pitching.  Not just any horseshoe pitching, mind you, but the Iowa State Fair Women’s Horseshoe Pitching Championship.

After acquainting myself with the scoring (3 points for a ringer, 1 point for being within six inches – you’ve heard the phrase about close only counting in horseshoes, right?), I settled in to watch a few simultaneous matches.  And then it hit me.

Horseshoes is the more rudimentary ancestor to today’s popular ‘bags’ game that so many can be found playing at picnics, or tailgating events.  Other people probably figured that out a long time ago, but only now did I gain enough insight to make the connection.

You stand about equally as far away from the target.  You throw two shoes (bags), and the other person throws two, with more points for shoes around the ringer (bags in the hole).  Missing the target, but still being close, may get you points.  Winner is the first to a certain number of points.

The only real difference in the two games, other than the horseshoe pit being dirtier, is that horseshoe pitchers are better athletes.  I’m serious.  It takes almost no effort to toss a lightweight beanbag, but it takes a measure of strength and effort to toss metal horseshoes for a while.  It’s more like bowling, in that regard.

Except close doesn’t count in bowling.

Food = Life

Went to my favorite local restaurant the other night.  It's basically my favorite because I can get my favorite unique meal there.  Of course, not everyone would agree with my assessment; virtually everyone else would have different opinions of their favorite restaurant/meal.

It's with this in mind that I write about how silly it is for too many people to agree how good a certain food /restaurant is.

We've got plenty of places in town that have a specialty appetizer, or entree, or dessert.  And if you asked almost anyone, they'll tell you how great it is.  But is it really?  Or is it just that the herd mentality applies to the food service business?**

The answer most of the time is, it's the herd mentality.

Look people, something isn't good because others say it's good.  If you think something is 'the best', there's an equally good chance someone else won't.  Plus, trends change over time.

My point is, food is the same as life.  Alright, not really my point.  The point is, decide for yourself.

**That paragraph ended in the 'Conjunction Trifecta" -- starting consecutive sentences with 'and' 'but' & 'or'!

Why Some People Hate America (Secular Version)

Last weekend, I was in a large grocery store picking up a couple of items.  This store had its own public cafeteria area, and a worker was just removing leftover food from a breakfast buffet it had set out.

I stood and watched as she took a tray filled with more than a dozen doughnuts from the buffet, brought them behind the counter, and scraped them into the garbage.  I didn't hang around, but there's little doubt this same garbage can would become the final resting place for all of the other leftover buffet food.

Multiply the leftovers from this small buffet by the thousands of others across America, over thousands of days, and I'm guessing you'd have enough to feed a small impoverished country for an entire meal.  Add in every other food item that restaurants toss daily, and maybe it's enough to feed that country for an entire day.

This is what we routinely throw into the garbage in America.  Yet, even some of America's own citizens go hungry.

I get it, it isn't the store's fault.  We have rules about food disposal and safety in our country.  The problem is, those rules aren't entirely written for the protection of the consumer; they're also written for the protection of the merchant, to avoid a lawsuit.  In other words, we throw away food to protect us from ourselves.

I also get that it's a distribution problem.  There's so reasonable way to transport perishable food thousands of miles.  But is it so hard to think it couldn't be put to some better use locally?

For full disclosure, I have to consider my own contribution to American food wastefulness last weekend.  I stopped at a convenience store on a road trip, where you could get 'any size' fountain drink up to 52-ounces for a dollar.  So of course, I got the 52-ouncer.  Why get only 20-ounces when you could get more than twice that for the same price and just throw away what you don't want?  And sadly, that's what I did.

I've been thinking more about American excess in general lately, ever since a trip to Las Vegas.  There, it isn't just food and beverages -- it's excess in every way, from the gambling all the way up to the imported Italian marble floor tiles.

We know that some people hate America based upon their own warped religious beliefs.  They are crazy idiots.  If there's anything to hate on us for, it would be our lack of humility in how much we waste.

Cash Only

Iowa is a state where the modern does battle with the anachronistic on a daily basis.  There is no better example of this than the Iowa State Fair, where you see both designer clothes and bib overalls.  Where you see both major music acts and fiddlers on stage.  Where you see both presidential candidates and carnies.

But there is apparently one thing Iowans will not allow to be modernized, namely how they pay for their fair food.  Last week the state fair caused a furor by saying they were implementing a pay-by-ticket policy on food, where fair-goers would first have to purchase tickets for $.50, and then use them for their food purchases.

This is probably a thinly-veiled attempt by the fair to keep concession stands honest when reporting their food sales, from which the fair gets a cut.  It seemed benign enough though, right?  I mean, we've all been places where we exchange tickets rather than cash for food or beverages.  Plus, it would be safer for all those making night deposits of cash.

Instead, the blue-collar resistors of change that apparently are at the core of the Iowa State Fair rose up, and using social media (who knew?), they slayed the ticket dragon.  My goodness, stand in one line to get tickets before standing in another to get their fried-on-a-stick food?  Outrageous!

It didn't hurt that governor-for-life Terry Branstad weighed in that the fair should reconsider.  Like he ever goes to the fair and buys fair food with cash.  It also came out that the guv is on the state fair board, but never goes to the meetings.  Maybe he should at least start reading the meeting minutes.

So the fair is going back to the old (read: current) cash-for-food method.  The question is in 10 years, when we'll all be paying for things by debiting from our cell phones instead of cash or tickets, will the agents of non-change rise up again in the defense of anachronism?

More Observations From The Iowa State Fair

A year ago I blogged about seeing way too many overweight people at the Iowa State Fair. I also went on to suggest a tax that might help stem the tide of obesity in Iowa/America.
http://streffblog.blogspot.com/2009/08/tax-on-fat-people.html

During my annual visit to the fair this year, I made a few more observations:

*Tattoos are everywhere, and I'm not talking about the little guy from Fantasy Island. I'd estimate 1 out of every 10 people at the fair had a tattoo, but increase that to 1 out of every 5 people under the age of 40, and 1 out of every 3 between the ages of 20-35. And that only counts the visible tattoos; it might be 50% or more under age 35. It's just part of being young now, similar to ear piercing in my generation.

*If you want to surpress your appetite, closely watch what's happening in most of the temporary food stands. They're often dirty and smelly, meaning both the stands and some of the people working in them. And the food is, um, greasy. One image I still can't get out of my head was the guy who turned over the french fries basket to dump the latest load in a pan - only to have it fall out of the basket still molded in the rectangular shape of the basket! Perhaps this is actually a new fair food item: French Fry Loaf.

*Free entertainment at the fair still kicks butt. There's a variety of live music, demonstrations, and contests to watch. This year I caught a glimpse of the Mr. Legs Contest. As I tweeted at the time, I chose not to participate because I didn't want to demoralize the competition, and because I don't think it's right for pros like me to compete with amatuers. Regardless, the price of admission buys you a lot of value at the Iowa State Fair.

*Generally speaking, people are still fat.