You Learn What You Work

I love the adage, "You learn what you live" which is based on an old poem titled Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte.  ("If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn....if a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love....")  I use it to explain behavior all of the time, and now I may be ready to adapt and apply this adage to occupations as well.  In other words, you learn what you work.

I recently had dinner with a former professional colleague from many years ago.  We worked together at a large, multi-national insurance company in the 1980's and 1990's, and while neither of us work there any longer, we've managed to stay in touch.

For the better part of two hours, we discussed a number of common individuals and personalities we worked with at that company.  Many of these folks had more lofty job titles than we did at the time, which is also what made them commonly known to us.  And most of them were lousy at their jobs.

After swapping stories about those mid-to-upper level management people, it became obvious to us that their work had little correlation to organizational success.  Most of them had far exceeded the Peter Principle, reaching a level even beyond their competence.  They were actually better examples of the so-called Dilbert Principle, meaning they were promoted to management because they would do less harm there than on the front lines.

However, what really struck me is how they didn't do any better managing their personal lives.  It was notable how many of them today are divorced, and/or obese, and/or still working because they can't afford to retire.  If there was any correlation, that was it -- if you aren't that good at your occupation, you probably aren't that that good at life, either.

Maybe you learn what you work?

LieSpotting

I recently watched a most popular TED talk with the same title as this post.  Roughly the first half was about how often people lie, while the last half was about how to spot those lies.

I was more interested in the first half, because it verified my somewhat cynical belief that most people lie, and lie often, when they talk to you about something.  Many of these are of the 'little white lie' variety, the kind you tell to make someone else feel better, or to maintain a social grace.

However, a lot of these lies are exaggerations, to make the liar look better than he or she really is.  Some of these are couples/relationship type of lies, but the ones I'm referring to come from the stories that others tell about something they did.  You know the ones -- so-and-so did something crazy, or saw something crazy, and the story gets crazier (and a little bit different) every time you hear it.

Of course, this type of lying is common among pre-teens and teens, where it's almost a rite of passage.  In the past I've suggested you should only believe 75% of half of what they say!

But I feel like it happens more often these days with adults.  It's as if baby-boomers are in a contest among themselves to better whatever another person says.  Like the Dilbert character Topper, except not always in an office environment.

In this context, I suppose it's harmless.  It's isn't like I'm going going to make a bad decision based on this inaccurate information.  It just isn't good form.