Halloween and its costume-related activities were not a thing for me growing up. I don't recall Trick-or-Treating a single time as a child living on the farm. Isn't that sad? Not sure I've ever been to a single costume party in my life, either.
Then I had kids, and I started to have a little bit of fun with Halloween. For more years than I can remember now, on Trick-or Treat night I'll dress up like a combination of Michal Myers from the movie Halloween and Jason from the movie Friday the 13th, and give out candy on the porch while little kids get a little scared. This year, as every year, there are at least a couple of kids that don't want to come to the door when they see me, which is awesome.
Alas, it's not as fun as it once was. It isn't me, either. It's not as fun because Halloween in Des Moines is so lame these days.
First, Trick-or-Treat night here isn't even on Halloween, it's on October 30th. (Don't ask, I don't know, some goofy central Iowa tradition.) Next, the costumes have become a joke. Nobody makes them anymore, they just buy a mask or some other piece of pre-made store crap. This year I had a few kids that didn't even bother to wear a costume. WTF?! My wife made great costumes for my kids back in the day - what happened to everyone else?
Finally, here along with saying "Trick or treat" (which they often lamely don't even bother to do) the kids are expected to tell you a little joke or riddle. (Again, don't ask, another tradition.) No one gives this much of an effort these days, either.
Not counting the 100 different "Why did the (something) cross the road?" jokes, here were the least lame ones:
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because there was no 'body' to dance with.
What do you call a fat jack o'lantern?
Plumpkin.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
I have a bone to pick with you.
Where does a zombie live?
Dead End.
What did the ghost order at the bar?
'Boo'ze.
And a couple unrelated to Halloween:
What does a house wear?
A(d)dress.
How do you stop Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
A final lame item: Every year there are kids too old to be Trick-or-Treating. If they want candy that much, they should go buy some. Of course, they invariably end up telling a more adult joke, like this one from this year: Why couldn't the jack o'lantern have children? Because of his halloweener.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Age Is A Gift
Last week I happened to know two individuals who turned 50 years old, and another who turned 55. While they were all taking it in stride, we all know people who have not been so accepting of their newfound maturity.
Like so many others, I might have been one of those people who got depressed when I turned 40. But around age 35. I took to heart something another person told me. Age is a gift.
Life expectancy in the U.S. is around age 80. Having said that, who doesn't know dozens and dozens of people who don't make it to 80, or 40, or even 20.
Just this weekend Des Moines held its annual Race For The Cure event, to raise money for the prevention and treatment of breast cancer. If you're feeling bad about aging, just go to one of those sometime.
I've participated in Race For The Cure many times, and it's humbling to think how many young women have lost their lives prematurely to breast cancer. Add to those all of the other people who die young from other illnesses or injuries, and complaining about one's age is exposed as a very stupid thing to do.
The next time you hear someone lamenting about their birthday/age, tell them that age is a gift. Then tell them to stop bitching about it.
Like so many others, I might have been one of those people who got depressed when I turned 40. But around age 35. I took to heart something another person told me. Age is a gift.
Life expectancy in the U.S. is around age 80. Having said that, who doesn't know dozens and dozens of people who don't make it to 80, or 40, or even 20.
Just this weekend Des Moines held its annual Race For The Cure event, to raise money for the prevention and treatment of breast cancer. If you're feeling bad about aging, just go to one of those sometime.
I've participated in Race For The Cure many times, and it's humbling to think how many young women have lost their lives prematurely to breast cancer. Add to those all of the other people who die young from other illnesses or injuries, and complaining about one's age is exposed as a very stupid thing to do.
The next time you hear someone lamenting about their birthday/age, tell them that age is a gift. Then tell them to stop bitching about it.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Occupy My Mind
Gotta join the rest of the blogosphere and opine on the Occupy Wall Street et. al. movement.
Take a bunch of unemployed people, mix in a frustrated electorate, and add a dash of disaffected youth, and you've got the ingredients of the Occupy movement. I get it, but I don't get it. Blaming financial institutions for not regulating their actions to a greater extent than the goverment allows, in a capitalistic society, is frankly not a legitimate expectation. People could have said no to the easy credit that banks offered years ago, but many chose to say yes. Whose fault is that?
But there are two other things I want to point out. The first is, as radical movements go, this hardly qualifies as one. Here's an excerpt from an on-line article written by John Carney of cnbc.com:
"The [Occupy Wall Street] population changes from day to day, and week to week. Many more people visit during the day, and leave once the park settles down at night. Some residents are hardcore political activists. Others are college students. Some are people who have found themselves in dire economic strits. The camp has many has many of the features of a village, or even a household. Various people in the park perform chores—such as cooking, cleaning, and ensuring that disputes are peacefully resolved. There is what appears to be the inner circle of Occupy Wall Street. Several people, many working on laptops powered by a portable generator, sit in an area closed off by tables. Most people—including protesters—are kept out by beefy people whose blue arm bands mark them as members of the security group. Exactly what this secretive group is doing is not clear. And so, ironically, there’s a no trespassing policy enforced at Occupy Wall Street."
Sounds like a weak commune to me. The radical protestesters of the 60s and 70s would laugh at this attempt to affect change.
Which brings me to my other point: How is it that the some of the same people want to vilify this movement, said not a word about the efforts of organized groups (Tea Party-ers?) to shout down legislators at town hall meetings in the summer of 2009 to complain about Obamacare? Isn't this the same deal - complaining about government? The only difference is, that group complained about too much government (of health care), and this group is complaining about not enough government (of the financial industry).
Americans have such short-term attention spans and conviction that I believe we'll soon see the Occupy movement die out. Unlike the oppressed people of the Arab Spring, not having a job doesn't mean soft Americans will stay outside for the winter. Still, it's kind of fund to watch, and you never know, social media could manage to keep this thing going for a while.
Take a bunch of unemployed people, mix in a frustrated electorate, and add a dash of disaffected youth, and you've got the ingredients of the Occupy movement. I get it, but I don't get it. Blaming financial institutions for not regulating their actions to a greater extent than the goverment allows, in a capitalistic society, is frankly not a legitimate expectation. People could have said no to the easy credit that banks offered years ago, but many chose to say yes. Whose fault is that?
But there are two other things I want to point out. The first is, as radical movements go, this hardly qualifies as one. Here's an excerpt from an on-line article written by John Carney of cnbc.com:
"The [Occupy Wall Street] population changes from day to day, and week to week. Many more people visit during the day, and leave once the park settles down at night. Some residents are hardcore political activists. Others are college students. Some are people who have found themselves in dire economic strits. The camp has many has many of the features of a village, or even a household. Various people in the park perform chores—such as cooking, cleaning, and ensuring that disputes are peacefully resolved. There is what appears to be the inner circle of Occupy Wall Street. Several people, many working on laptops powered by a portable generator, sit in an area closed off by tables. Most people—including protesters—are kept out by beefy people whose blue arm bands mark them as members of the security group. Exactly what this secretive group is doing is not clear. And so, ironically, there’s a no trespassing policy enforced at Occupy Wall Street."
Sounds like a weak commune to me. The radical protestesters of the 60s and 70s would laugh at this attempt to affect change.
Which brings me to my other point: How is it that the some of the same people want to vilify this movement, said not a word about the efforts of organized groups (Tea Party-ers?) to shout down legislators at town hall meetings in the summer of 2009 to complain about Obamacare? Isn't this the same deal - complaining about government? The only difference is, that group complained about too much government (of health care), and this group is complaining about not enough government (of the financial industry).
Americans have such short-term attention spans and conviction that I believe we'll soon see the Occupy movement die out. Unlike the oppressed people of the Arab Spring, not having a job doesn't mean soft Americans will stay outside for the winter. Still, it's kind of fund to watch, and you never know, social media could manage to keep this thing going for a while.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Best Song Lyrics (Part VIII)
Before I was 10 years old, in the late 60s and early 70s, I heard a lot of music that my older siblings listened to, presumably the best pop/rock there was to offer at the time. I recall one summer in the early 70s, all they wanted to listen to was Bad, Bad, LeRoy Brown by Jim Croce.
Lyrics meant nothing to me at the time, but it had a good beat and it was fun to sing along to, so I figured this was a cool guy. It wasn't until I was much older that I figured out what a great library of music he had. For someone who died in a plane crash at age 30, you might even say it was prolific; he released 6 albums and 11 singles in that time.
And as is the case with the other musicians I mention in this blog, the songs he performed had meaning, or at least told a story. I recall listening to a greatest hits CD of his (Photographs and Memories) while traveling with my own family, and even the kids singing along to the refrain from You Don't Mess Around With Jim:
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask of that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
Here are some of the lyrics from one of his all-time greats, I Got A Name, about finding your way on life's journey while staying true to yourself:
Like the pine trees lining the winding road
I've got a name, I've got a name
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad
I've got a name, I've got a name
And I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I'm living the dream, that he kept hid
Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by
Like the north wind whistlin' down the sky
I've got a song, I've got a song
Like the whippoorwill and the baby's cry
I've got a song, I've got a song
And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud
Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by
And I'm gonna go there free.....
Like the fool I am and I'll always be
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
They can change their minds but they can't change me
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
Oh, I know I could share it if you want me to
If your going my way, I'll go with you
Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by
Lyrics meant nothing to me at the time, but it had a good beat and it was fun to sing along to, so I figured this was a cool guy. It wasn't until I was much older that I figured out what a great library of music he had. For someone who died in a plane crash at age 30, you might even say it was prolific; he released 6 albums and 11 singles in that time.
And as is the case with the other musicians I mention in this blog, the songs he performed had meaning, or at least told a story. I recall listening to a greatest hits CD of his (Photographs and Memories) while traveling with my own family, and even the kids singing along to the refrain from You Don't Mess Around With Jim:
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask of that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
Here are some of the lyrics from one of his all-time greats, I Got A Name, about finding your way on life's journey while staying true to yourself:
Like the pine trees lining the winding road
I've got a name, I've got a name
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad
I've got a name, I've got a name
And I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I'm living the dream, that he kept hid
Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by
Like the north wind whistlin' down the sky
I've got a song, I've got a song
Like the whippoorwill and the baby's cry
I've got a song, I've got a song
And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud
Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by
And I'm gonna go there free.....
Like the fool I am and I'll always be
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
They can change their minds but they can't change me
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
Oh, I know I could share it if you want me to
If your going my way, I'll go with you
Movin' me down the highway
Rollin' me down the highway
Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by
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