This week a (stereotype alert) gapped-toothed hillbilly from Missouri won a $250 million lottery jackpot. I've got nothing against bad teeth, hillbillies, Missouri, or jackpots, but let's take a closer look at how this happened.....
The GTH (gapped-toothed hillbilly) bought his $5 ticket at the end of his shift at the convenience store where he worked. In the same purchase he also bought himself some cigarettes, so let's just say that was another 10 bucks.
Seems innocent enough - until you factor in the GTH 1) was also way behind on his electric and gas bills; 2) had less than $30 in his bank account; 3) owed $1,000 to a friend on a truck he recently bought, and 4) apparently has three children to support, along with his girlfriend's two children.
A quick analysis - the GTH had no money to pay bills or to care for his kids, and was deeply in debt to a friend, but still figured he'd spend half his life savings on a lottery ticket and cancer sticks. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!
The moral of the story is, even if you are a deadbeat GTH who should be paying bills instead of gambling, you could still win the lottery. Also, lending practices in this country are even more lax than we thought, since this GTH found someone dumb enough to loan him $1,000 he could never repay - unless he won the lottery.
I can only think of one good thing to come of this - we've got one less person/family who will be using the social services saftey net. As the GTH might say, "Yippee!"
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