Winning The Family Feud

It’s long been an axiom that family and politics don’t mix.  This has never been more true than in the past year, with the unexpected election of a polarizing president – and that’s saying the absolute best thing I can about what happened / what’s happening in America.

Even amongst families, there seems to be no bridging the current ideological divide that has been forged by Fox News, Trump, and the Republican Party.  It’s crazy, because none of those aforementioned things even mattered to the general public until recently.

Since the last national election, I’ve been at a few gatherings of immediate family members.  When social and/or political matters have inevitably come up in conversation, I’ve been very good about quickly changing the subject.  (My favorite line is, ‘So who do you think is going to win the [name sports division here]?”)  Changing the subject is better than silence, lest someone mistake that silence as a tacit agreement about anything being said.

I suppose it was just a matter of time, however, before I heard one of my relatives say something racist or homophobic or xenophobic or misogynistic to the point I could no longer bite my tongue. That happened last week.

So I spoke back at them, trying to expose their beliefs as unacceptable in today’s society, and definitely unacceptable in present company.  (By ‘present company’ I refer to me, but there were several other family members in the room, none of whom were willing or able to engage in a sociopolitical conversation.)

At first, I tried to make my points in a passive-aggressive way, with sarcasm and mocking.   Not surprisingly, that resulted in the other person getting defensive, and doubling-down on their hate speech.  So I stepped up my game to equal their verbal aggression, making much more salient and intellectual points.

But of course, that’s where the ‘conversation’ went off the rails and crashed into an awkward silence, because you can’t argue with another person who is unable to recognize – much less agree with – demonstrable facts.  I knew we’d reached that point when the other person claimed Fox News was actually anti-Trump.  Good god, not even Fox News or Trump agrees with that.

So what was the outcome of this family strife?  I simply declared victory by ignoring the other person.  It was a great moment for rational minds.  #Winning!

When Being Close Counts

I attended another Iowa State Fair this year.  It’s only a small exaggeration to say every time I go, my dozen or so hours there are segmented into roughly 30 minutes each, during which I visit the same exhibits and venues that I do every year.

However, I do try to take in something different every year (besides new fair food).  Last year, it was arm wrestling.

This year’s new thing was spending about an hour watching horseshoe pitching.  Not just any horseshoe pitching, mind you, but the Iowa State Fair Women’s Horseshoe Pitching Championship.

After acquainting myself with the scoring (3 points for a ringer, 1 point for being within six inches – you’ve heard the phrase about close only counting in horseshoes, right?), I settled in to watch a few simultaneous matches.  And then it hit me.

Horseshoes is the more rudimentary ancestor to today’s popular ‘bags’ game that so many can be found playing at picnics, or tailgating events.  Other people probably figured that out a long time ago, but only now did I gain enough insight to make the connection.

You stand about equally as far away from the target.  You throw two shoes (bags), and the other person throws two, with more points for shoes around the ringer (bags in the hole).  Missing the target, but still being close, may get you points.  Winner is the first to a certain number of points.

The only real difference in the two games, other than the horseshoe pit being dirtier, is that horseshoe pitchers are better athletes.  I’m serious.  It takes almost no effort to toss a lightweight beanbag, but it takes a measure of strength and effort to toss metal horseshoes for a while.  It’s more like bowling, in that regard.

Except close doesn’t count in bowling.

RAGBRAI - 2017 Edition

I came out of my self-imposed retirement from the Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI) again this year.  (Last time!?)  In the first two days, it went through both my hometown and my spouse's hometown in NW Iowa, so I had to ride those.  Here are this year's observations:

* While the overnight towns seem to have plenty of portable toilets for the 20,000 or so visiting cyclists, the pass-through (no pun intended) towns didn't have one-tenth the amount they really needed.  I mean, when you have 20,000 extra people in your little town, even if it's only for an hour or two, you should have more than 20 (one-tenth of one percent) portable toilets.  What the hell RAGBRAI, didn't you warn them this year?  Maybe it's a sign of me getting older, but I've never had to rely on cornfields so much before.

* I found a non-profit stand selling pineapple pie!  But they were sold out -- at 8:30 in the morning!  Overall, however, I felt there was more pie available this year than on any RAGBRAI in recent memory.  Full disclosure: I had three slices of apple.

* For the third time in my RAGBRAI journeys, I rode the century (100 mile) loop that was optional this year on day two.  Each time was an accomplishment, but each time came with the same downside: You don't have as much fun on the ride.  Not only do you have an extra 30 miles or so to power through, but there aren't any good vendor or farmyard stops available during that time.  You don't stop as often, and when you do, you don't stop for as long.

* Best stop this year was a dill pickle stand that also happened to have people protesting against NW Iowa congressman and WOITH, Steve King.  I ended up wearing a sticker the rest of the day that said, "Dear America, Sorry About Steve King. Sincerely, Iowa."  Got great comments on it throughout the day, too.

* Demographically speaking, while RAGBRAI clearly has more men on it than women, I thought there were more women than in the past.  Also, there were many, many more overweight riders than I can remember -- no way some of them were riding the entire week, if the entire day.  At the same time, the median age of all riders continues to climb.

* Still not enough service for cell phones!  Getting a data connection was harder than ever, and impossible where cyclists were aggregated.  This is 2017, people, it shouldn't be this difficult.

* Best jersey I saw this year was on the back of a t-shirt:  Beer....the reason I get up every afternoon!